so sad... — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

so sad...

I am so upset that my hubby has to go back to work on Monday after being off with me for 4 weeks since we lost our daughter on 4th of July.

I had to have an emergency c-section so basically after that, being in the hopsital for a week, taking her off of the ventilator, saying goodbye to her and just being overwhelmed with grief...I have been non functional this whole month. Also to top things of they had to re-open my c section wound because it wasnt healing!!! He had to pack it with gauze twice a day for about 2 weeks!!

He has been my rock, he makes sure I eat a balanced meal, take my meds, holds me when I am inconsolable...and is my all around cheerleader, all this while he is still grieving the loss of our daughter!!

I am scared to be without him, and I have great friends and family but I only want him :(...I have been quite shut off from the rest of the world because I feel so depressed...I cry every night about losing Kendall and now I feel like I am losing him. I have been off of work on FMLA since a week before she was born and I dont go back til late September :(.....Im scared ladies.....I am in so much grief I feel sick to my stomach :(

Re: so sad...

  • I am sorry for your loss. I know your afraid I was too! Am glad your DH has been there for you... My FI was my rock too and I know that I would have been so lost without him! I promise you will see the light soon! PM me if you ever need a shoulder to lean on or just someone to listen. ::big hugs::
  • I felt the same way you did.  Is there anyway that he could half days?  That's what my DH did after he took off a week.  It wasn't such a steep hill to climb then.  Many are here during the day if you want to chat.
    My Blog
    We love and miss you Jillian (18w) and Peanut (6w). Welcome to our TAC miracle Jacob!
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  • I'm so sorry. It's just not fair and it takes so much time to go through the grieving process. I wish I had the magic words to help you feel better but there are no words. I hope that you are able to find comfort in your surrounding friends and family while your DH is away. I know for me it was so hard being at home and doing nothing but thinking about my little Addyston. Now that I am back to work and in more of a routine I am able to cope a little easier. Maybe this will happen for you too now that DH is going back to work and you will have more of a routine through your day. :( My heart breaks for you. I am so sorry!  HUGS
    6/28/10: Lost our sweet baby Addyston at 18wk 1day to pPROM 7/24/11: Michael William born at 24wk 2d due to IC after an emergent cerclage at 18wks, 4wk home BR and 2 weeks hospital BR. Grow strong our little Miracle! 9/17/11: Michael joined his sister in heaven after 8 amazing weeks with us on earth. He fought a very hard fight but NEC was too much for him in the end. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I felt the the exact same way, so I know how you feel. I spend all week with my husband after we lost Jasmine and it was incredible. I couldn't imagine how horrible it would've been if I couldn't have. Your husband is awesome, are you are indeed blessed. If you need us, we are here!! We all know what you're going thru so talk to us :o)
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers BabyFetus Ticker
  • Sending hugs, we are here if you ever need to chat. I would rent a bunch of movies, maybe get some good books to read to try and keep yourself busy. My dh is also my rock and it was tough when he went back to work, but after a little while it did get easier.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

  • I am so sorry for your loss.  My husband only took one week off work, and i paniced being home without him.  He works nights, and I was terrified of not having him there, especially at night.  The first 2 weeks were the roughest and saddest, and then I reached my breaking point, I felt myself going into a depression.  I had never experienced grief like this.  Since i have a DS and DD who are 9 and 11, I HAD to pull it together for them.  I felt like such a terrible mother for just lying in bed all the time.  I wanted to heal, somehow.  I reached out and tried to find early infant loss support groups in my area,  You can google them too.  I went to a MISS foundation one, and the support there was phenomenal.  I have never seen a therapist of joined a support group, and these people were very familiar with what I went thru.  From there I found another support group with a therpist who runs it.  I want to find peace somewhere amongst the saddness and loss, I crave it.  I want to find a way to sleep and not have those dark moments.  The support groups are just a suggestion, but they really are helping me.  Please feel free to PM me also if you need an extra ear.

    Thoughts and prayers

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