Veteran Mamas

Re: Veteran Mamas

• Asquared member

  July 2010

  What are your top pieces of advice for new moms on rest, house work, healing?   Let your partner take over some jobs, accept help from anyone you're comfortable with- to do laundry, make some meals, hold baby while you shower, etc.  Try to accept your house being strictly functional instead of spotless for a while until you feel like yourself again (hasn't happened for me yet, but I have my moments!)

  Keeping the blues away, and keeping baby and self healthy and nourished?   Talk to your hubby, friends (especially other new moms), try to continue eating and drinking plenty.  Get out of the house- even if it's just walks in your neighborhood, it's important to get fresh air to keep your head clear!

   

  What are your top pieces of advice for family and friends on how they can help mom with rest, house work, healing, keeping the blues away, and keeping baby and self healthy and nourished?           Listen to the new moms wishes... to a point.  I was just talking to my sis-in-law who is about to have a baby and she was talking about how she was trying to get the house ready for visitors after the baby comes- her hubby said, "let mom clean"  she laughed it off and said no to which I told her she needs to let her MIL clean up.  If visitors come when a baby is born, you are NOT hosting.  They should know they are coming to help out wherever needed.  I told her she needs to sit and let her va jay jay heal and just love on her new baby!  I think she got the point!

   

   

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• KateLouise member

  July 2010

  Cook meals and freeze them before LO is born. Being able to go to the freezer and pull out a quick, easy and nutritious meal is fabulous. I was sad when my ones ran out.

  We stayed in a birthing centre for a couple of days (Dh stayed with me too). It was great for DH to see what they were feeding me. It gave him a good sense of what quantity and nutrition I needed and so when we got home, he would bring me morning tea and a good lunch etc etc.

  If you plan to BF, get DH to have access to the info (read a book, watch a DVD etc) it helps them understand that when you're tied to the couch feeding a newborn and desperate for a drink that you NEED a glass of water. It also helps DH feel like he is an important part of the help and support for the new baby and you as a new Mum.

  Listen to your body. If you feel up to going for a walk and want some fresh air, then do it. If you want to have a nap, then do it. There is no right or wrong way for your body to heal, just follow your own cues. 

  Oops, just realised top tips for family and friends.

  Bring meals when you come to visit. A big lasagne or casserole, that gives a meal for that night and left over to freeze or have the next night is wonderful.

  DON'T tell the new Mum she should be doing x, y and z in terms of caring for the baby. Tell her she's doing a good job and how well her baby looks. All new Mum's are anxious, it's nice to be re-assured.

  Tell the new mum how well SHE looks. We all like to think we don't look like a haggard mess. 

  Make the cups of tea/lunch etc and clear away the dishes, when you come to visit. Even if you have to insist.

  Offer to hang out washing, vacuum etc (or just do it, if you know her well enough) 

  Understand that much as you want to hold the new baby, Mum will probably want to hold her baby too. Don't make her fight for it.

  That's all I got so far. 

  
  Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old

  
  

  
  
  

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• PlainandTall member

  July 2010

  My tip: Turn the bedside clock to face the wall.  Regardless if you co-sleep or have baby in a nursery- to do nighttime parenting you don't need to know what time it is- you don't need to know how much sleep you lost.. you have to care for the baby anyway, you will care for the baby anyway... but focusing on the number of times and the length of times when your sleep was disturbed- adds to your stress and actually makes you more awake and makes it harder for you to return to sleep. 

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