hello, long intro — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

hello, long intro

Hi Everyone.  I dont really know whether I belong here or not, but I wanted to look for support and share my story.  I have been anorexic for as long as i can remember but for the most part my physical health has been okay.  the worst came when i lost my period for 5 years.  in 2007, assuming i was infertile because i hadn't had a period in 5 years, i learned i was pregnant with my boyfriend's baby (i knew we'd marry one day at that point).  we'd both accepted that we many never have children of our own due to my health issues.  we were stunned when i got pregnant.  and unprepared.  sadly, only a few weeks later, i learned that i had an enlarged yolk sac and a missed miscarriage.  i had a d&c on march 30, 2007.  i was told that it was due to chromosomal abnormality and not to my disorder.  i've been really motivated to care for myself to prepare for having a child one day.  we've longed for a baby ever since and planned to start trying during our then totally unplanned honeymoon.  we just got married this past june and our dream came true- i came home pregnant.  we found the bfp on july 11.  since then i've had a lot of spotting.  some pregnancy symptoms, but spotting.  the doctor (a new doctor, not the one i adore who gave me my d&c- i've since moved) has basically told me that it's probably okay and we can't really know anything until my first prenatal appointment.  today my spotting went from brown to pink and i'm experiencing some cramping.  i'm just terrified.  i have a really awful feeling in my gut that this baby may not be viable.  pregnancy after a loss is so much harder than i thought it could ever be.  i grieved for our loss for so long and it's all coming back to me now as we go through this.  i feel so hopeless, alone, and scared.  my now husband is trying so hard to take care of me, but i can't explain to him how it feels to have this happening inside me.  and i dont knwo what to say to help him- he is scared and sad too.  i am truly so sorry for all of your losses.  i am deeply saddened by your stories, but i am also inspired by your candor and honesty.  thank you for listening. 

Re: hello, long intro

  • First of all I am so sorry your going through this... Your in the right place... You have suffered a loss just like the rest of us.  I think there are several things you could do.  You could call your doctor and get your betas tested and see where your at and then go back and have them re-tested to see if they are going up or coming down.  You might be having implantation bleeding at this point too (depending on how far along you are?).  If you really want answers now maybe a trip to the ER?  Again I think it will depend on how far along you are on what they can do for you.

    Just try to stay strong and we will all keep you in our thoughts... Big Hugs 

    BFP #1 04/05/10 EDD 12/11/10 Missed M/C 7w found out at 12w5d You're so missed LO BFP #2 11/27/10 EDD 08/07/11.. Diagnosed with IC 03/17/11 Cerclage put in place 03/21/11 Madilynn Mae born 7/26/11
  • Good luck to you. As PP said, I'd get your betas tested. However, I was experiencing a loss and mine continued to rise, just not double, so don't look into it tooooo much. Unforunately, you just have to wait it out. Sad
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  • that's basically what the doctor finally told me.  he said the levels could be misrepresenting what's actually going on.  luckily he moved my ultrasound up to this coming wednesday.  he said just to hang in there this weekend and to call him if i start heavily bleeding.  if there's not a heartbeat on wednesday, then we'll do a d&c ro i'll have the option to wait a week and look again for a heartbeat.  he thinks i'm about 6 weeks now.  i should be farther based on my lmp, but my early levels indicated that i ovulated late (which i know can happen in my cycle).  thank you so much for your support.  Hurricane, i'm really sorry youre suffering so much right now.  i hope you're able to find some peace soon.

     

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