3rd Trimester

So Pissed at DH!!! (Vent & Long)

So I only have 9 days left which we are both really excited about.. Dh thinks I will deliever after my due date, so he decides to tell me wednesday that he is going to Reno,Nv (we live in Portland,Or) to go help a friend bring back a car that his friend bought... Its a 10 hr drive there and 10 hrs back... So he will be gone for about 24 hrs with a few stops on the way there and a few on the way back..

So I have told him that the baby could come at any day and he just doesnt realize this... His other two children ( not from me) were born at 42 and 41 weeks so he thinks that he has enought time... I have told him how much I really dont want him to leave but he just says he will be back, So I got pissed the other day & told him that I hope she comes while he is gone. I really dont I want him to miss his daughters birth but he is acting like shes not coming soon.. Does he not realize babys come when they are ready.. My last appt I was 2 cm dilated and told me that It could be anyday ( I know they all say that) Smile...

 He will be leaving in about 4 hrs and I know he is going but I am scared that I will have to do this all alone.. My family lives 2 states away and I dont have anyone that will be there with me... Crying  I was so upset last night when he called me and said he was going to be working late I had to hang up the phone because I was crying so hard... I am really upset and dont know what to do... I have told him how I felt and he says I'll be back!!!!!

Ugh I am gonna hurt him if he misses his daughter being born!!!!

Re: So Pissed at DH!!! (Vent & Long)

  • He's an idiot and I would probably kick him in the balls if I were you.  Not only is it horrible that he's leaving but the fact that it is upsetting you and he obviously could care less is crappy also.  Seriously my DH would NEVER do this and I would never let him. 

    I feel badly for you and I hope that you don't have that baby when he is gone :( 

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  • Wow, I'm sorry you have to deal with this. I would seriously hurt DH if he did that! If it were me, I would probably fake contractions or something so he wouldn't go. That's really not cool that he's upsetting you this much and doesn't care. Not cool DH!
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  • I agree with PP, regardless of baby's due date, the fact that he is causing you all this stress pisses me off! 

    I think you are right and he is wrong, but I do hope your daughter waits for her dad to get back before making her appearance.

    ::hugs::

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  • I would be super annoyed too. On the small upside, if the baby does come, they were saying in labor class that usually the first 8-12 hours of labor (1st stage) go really slow and can be mostly done at home. But, I would be really freaked out too to do ity alone.

    My DH is going to his sister's wedding in CA 11 days before our due date. He will leave Sat afternoon and come home first thing Monday. The flights don't work for him to come home Sunday night (wedding is Sunday afternoon), but we did look up the last flight- just in case.  I am worried he will come while he is gone, but I just tell myself they say 1st babies are more likely to be late. But, I am okay with him going. If I wasn't, I know he wouldn't go. That is where I would say your bigger issue is.

     

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  • Oh I would be beyond pissed! Angry

    There is no telling, you could go into labor tonight, or it could be next week. Not to mention that you just plain NEED him there.  Who leaves their 9 month pregnant wife to drive across the country to fetch a car!

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  • I'm sorry - what a jacka**! Like pp said, it's not only bad that he is leaving because your LO could come any time, but it is very upsetting to you and he doesn't care. What an insensitive jerk, I'm sorry you have to deal with this and I hope your DD doesn't decide to come while he is away. You definitely need to have a serious talk with him, he needs a major wake up call that your feelings are just as important as his and his priorities should be with his wife before his buddies!
  • Oh boy! He is being incredibly insensitive.  I am assuming that this is your first child and he needs to recognize that.  I don't care how confident HE is, every woman is different and every delivery is different.  Who is going to drive you to the hospital if you go into labor? I would definitely lay down the law and tell him this behavior is making you lose confidence in the one person who should be able to rely on unconditionaly and are afraid it is just a window into how he will be when the baby comes. Lay on the guilt!
  • I would tell him that as long as he is in Reno he should check with the casinos regarding the chances that his sh*t would be on the front lawn waiting for him when he gets back. 
  • I really don't even know what to say about this. I can't believe any husband would feel like this was okay. I know mine sure as hell would not. Sorry but he really does not sound like the nicest guy to me.
  • i can't believe he is still going knowing how upset you are about this! is he normally this insensitive? i would seriously change the locks while he is gone and have his sh!t on the front lawn waiting for him! what an A$$!
  • He's an idiot. I would let him go- and if/when you went into labor have a friend by your side and then remind him for the rest of your marriage how he dropped the ball. :)

    Sorry- I'm not in a good mood today.

  • Who wants to take bets that he calls from Reno saying that there is a "problem" with the car and that they will be late ?

    Trying to help a friend my ass.  He wants to go gambling one last time before the baby comes, and to him it is worth the risk of missing Aubree's birth. 

  • Dad-to-be here....

    The worst part is that if he happens to get back before delivery, he'll get to gloat about how he "knew" it would be okay.

    I can't imagine taking the slightest risk of missing our baby's arrival.


  • That is just insensitive and plain crude. What a d!ckwad. I'm on my 3rd and my 1st came 8 days early. There is no way in hell that your husband can predict when your DD will arrive. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. I hope that you have somebody to count on if DD does decide to make an early appearance.
  • He is usally cues in to my needs and feelings, but for some reason he has been a ass for about a week... I just went and bought a new lock and wrapped it up so when he gets home I will give it to him.. LOL
  • imagestw_77:
    I would tell him that as long as he is in Reno he should check with the casinos regarding the chances that his sh*t would be on the front lawn waiting for him when he gets back. 

    Um. Yup! There is NO way that A) DH would even TRY to do this and B) I would let him go if he DID want to do it. Seriously, it would be stay, or his sh!t on the lawn and the locks changed.

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  • imageazsheena:

    I would be super annoyed too. On the small upside, if the baby does come, they were saying in labor class that usually the first 8-12 hours of labor (1st stage) go really slow and can be mostly done at home. But, I would be really freaked out too to do ity alone.

    My DH is going to his sister's wedding in CA 11 days before our due date. He will leave Sat afternoon and come home first thing Monday. The flights don't work for him to come home Sunday night (wedding is Sunday afternoon), but we did look up the last flight- just in case.  I am worried he will come while he is gone, but I just tell myself they say 1st babies are more likely to be late. But, I am okay with him going. If I wasn't, I know he wouldn't go. That is where I would say your bigger issue is.

     

    I wouldn't count on this. I woke up having contractions and delivered my baby 8 hours later. I planned on laboring at home for a while too but when I woke up with contractions they were already between 5 and 8 minutes apart. When I was admitted to the hospital about 3 hours later they were 3 minutes apart. I am probably more of the exception but it does happen.

    I would find a friend who can take you to the hospital just in case. There was no way I could have driven myself.

  • imageBLykins16:
    imageazsheena:

    I would be super annoyed too. On the small upside, if the baby does come, they were saying in labor class that usually the first 8-12 hours of labor (1st stage) go really slow and can be mostly done at home. But, I would be really freaked out too to do ity alone.

    My DH is going to his sister's wedding in CA 11 days before our due date. He will leave Sat afternoon and come home first thing Monday. The flights don't work for him to come home Sunday night (wedding is Sunday afternoon), but we did look up the last flight- just in case.  I am worried he will come while he is gone, but I just tell myself they say 1st babies are more likely to be late. But, I am okay with him going. If I wasn't, I know he wouldn't go. That is where I would say your bigger issue is.

     

    I wouldn't count on this. I woke up having contractions and delivered my baby 8 hours later. I planned on laboring at home for a while too but when I woke up with contractions they were already between 5 and 8 minutes apart. When I was admitted to the hospital about 3 hours later they were 3 minutes apart. I am probably more of the exception but it does happen.

    I would find a friend who can take you to the hospital just in case. There was no way I could have driven myself.

    That's what I was thinking.  They want you to come in at the point where you can no longer talk through your contractions.  Say you get to that point, what are you supposed to do?  Take a cab to the hospital?!

  • jgal84jgal84 member
    This is completely unacceptable. I really hope you don't have her while he's gone. However, I definitely wouldn't be there when he got back! I would either check into a hotel/motel or go to a friend's house. I would want to scare the shiit out of him (with me not being there and not answering any phone calls) when he got back. But, that's just me, and I can be mean sometimes!
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  • jgal84 I might do that it almost sounds too good.. I might have to do that..
  • imageAleciaMarie:

    imagestw_77:
    I would tell him that as long as he is in Reno he should check with the casinos regarding the chances that his sh*t would be on the front lawn waiting for him when he gets back. 

    Um. Yup! There is NO way that A) DH would even TRY to do this and B) I would let him go if he DID want to do it. Seriously, it would be stay, or his sh!t on the lawn and the locks changed.

     Nice!!!

    Alecia was that your wedding dress?? I likey! 

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  • imagejgal84:
    This is completely unacceptable. I really hope you don't have her while he's gone. However, I definitely wouldn't be there when he got back! I would either check into a hotel/motel or go to a friend's house. I would want to scare the shiit out of him (with me not being there and not answering any phone calls) when he got back. But, that's just me, and I can be mean sometimes!


    i would totally do this. serves him right.
  • I told DH he is allowed to leave up until 2 weeks of the due date. And then he's sitting his butt at home and I don't want to hear a word about it.

    I don't care for YH. He seems like he knows it all just because 2 births have panned out that way with a different woman.

    You're right, he's wrong. Hope your LO stays put til he gets back!

  • So I'm guessing this "friend" doesn't  have anyone else to ask???  Real sweet of him to ask someone who is about to be a father again at any given moment!??!?  I would be furious at both of them and if it were me, I would secretly hope that he misses it.  You and the impending birth of your daughter should be his #1 priority right now.

     

    Good Luck:) 

  • OMGosh I totally feel what you're going through. I would probably kill DH if he decided to go do something like this being that close to the end.

    I'm sorry... You're right, baby will come when she's ready so hopefully she'll be ready AFTER he comes back.

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