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EMT12resqEMT12resq member
in Baby Showers

Hey ladies I have never posted on this board before but I have lurked. I don't know if this question has been asked.

My mother and mother in law offered to host me a baby shower. One is on one end of the county and the other is on the other end of the county. So there is 2 showers. This is my first baby. They did this because of travel issues. Our families live on opposite ends of the state.

Anyway my question is... What is the rule about the mother to be helping with the cost. My mom offered to throw me a shower and I was going to offer to help her pay for some of the food and decorations because I know her and my dad are short on money.

 Alittle background: My father was dignosed with cancer last year and is undergoing chemo so most of their money is going to medical bills and savings because my dad is getting ready to go on disability.

Is this tacky? Should I offer or is there something else I can suggest to my mom to help her with the cost? I know she really wants to throw me a shower and her and my mother in law agreed on doing them seperate because of the travel of the family. What do you guys think?

Thanks in advance for all your help.

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Re: Question

  • CourtneyR2NCourtneyR2N member

    There really isn't any rule to helping out financially, but it is something that you and your mother would need to keep between the two of you.

    You know your mother better than anyone else, how would she take to that? Would she welcome the help or feel badly that you were offering and that you thought she couldn't afford it?

    A few things you could do to help out, offer to make a couple of the food items, tell her you found some wonder invitations and if it is ok with her would be happy to pick them up, buy the stamps to mail the invitations out (tell her you were buying a bunch for thank yous anyway). Most of the expense of a party is going to be the place if you can't have it at someone's house, the food and the invitations.  So if you can find a way to help out in those areas, that would make the biggest difference.

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  • EMT12resqEMT12resq member

    Both of the locations are actually free. :) My DH and I are both volunteers at our local fire and rescue depts so we get to use the banquet halls for free.

    So most of our expense is in the invites, decorations, and food. I think my mom would welcome me to help pay. I don't think she would be offended. I just don't want to put her in a bad spot financially.

    Thank you for your suggestions. I will go over them with my mom :)

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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    Ditto Courtney.  As long as you keep YOUR involvement on the down low, it doesn't matter. Your mom will still be the host.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

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  • TulipsAndChampagneTulipsAndChampagne member

    imageEastCoastBride:
    Ditto Courtney.  As long as you keep YOUR involvement on the down low, it doesn't matter. Your mom will still be the host.

    I ended up doing this at my shower...my hostess' DH lost his job about a month before the shower, so I offered to "pick up" the food and a few other items. She appreciated it and I appreciated the shower. (I did not get her a hostess gift though)

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