"Dutch treat" shower wording
So DH and I have been invited to 2 showers this year in which guests were asked to pay their way with a "fixe prix" menu. Both showers have been at restaurants, and it has become more and more normal for ppl to pay for their own plate in this type of setting.
We too have found a restaurant where to hold our shower, with a private room and special menu for these type of celebrations. We thought this would be a good idea seeing as it has become an acceptable scenario, and especially since we have about 120 guests.
I made the mistake of not keeping the previous invitations, and now need help in wording ours. Each guest will be asked to pay $20 which includes appetizer, main course, dessert and beverages.
Any suggestions on wording or links to invite sites?
TIA!!!!
Re: "Dutch treat" shower wording
Go for it, but don't expect a single gift. God knows, I wouldn't get you one if I was invited.
Someone ELSE needs to throw you a shower and guests shouldn't have to pay.
Sorry, anything else is tacky.
Just because other people have done this does NOT make it acceptible.
PLEASE. Please. PLEASE don't don't this.
There are so many faux pas in here I don't even know where to start, but I will try.
Do not throw your own shower under any circumstance.
Do not ask people to then pay for themselves.
Do not put wording like that on an invitation.
etc.
etc.
etc.
This exactly. If I had to pay to attend a shower I either wouldn't attend or wouldn't bring a gift. It's super tacky to throw yourself a shower and then expect them to pay to come.
if this is becoming normal in your social circle you need to find new friends stat. it is majorly tacky.
i think you might be missing the point of a shower. it isn't a party you throw yourself so people will buy you things. and dear lord if you do decide to anger the ettiquette gods and throw your own shower you sure as sh*t better pay for it. throwing your own party, and asking people to pay to attend... this just blows my mind.
This is the tackiest thing I have ever heard of. You DO NOT EVER under ANY circumstances throw YOUR OWN shower. I get that you WANT one but you are not entitled to one. And if no one around you has offered to throw you one, well....it might be because you actually have the attitude that this kind of shiit is Ok......
And then you think it is OK to CHARGE your guests money to come?? So if they don't pay your "cover charge", they don't eat?? Do they even get to come???
Don NOT do this. It will stain your reputation forever. Trust me. It will.
You will forever be known as "Cheap and Tacky".
Don't listen to the naysayers. You should totally do this and instead of lame-o, Hallmark, congratulations cards you should ask for books or better yet, GIFT cards AND a present.
ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
BRING MONEY FOR YOUR DINNER
AND AN EFFING GIFT TOO!!!
Admit it. You write for Hallmark, don't you? That was beautiful :::tear
Don't forget a diaper lottery!
You are not only wanting to throw yourself a baby shower and make all of your guests pay to come, but you are also inviting 120 freakin' people?! Seriously?!
Oh, and no, nothing about this situation is "acceptable".
Logan David 03.27.08
Jacob Riley 05.18.09
{Member since 2007}
How about
"We're throwing a shower, but you'll have to pay your own way
don't forget that baby need things for sleep and for play
Bring a book instead of a card, and a case of diapers, too
No charachter stuff please, or I'll complain about you."
FTW!
This post is all sorts of hilarity!
Steph wins!!
Sheer PERFECTION...I think I love you...
Food Allergies to Eggs, Milk, Peanuts, Tree Nuts & Beef
Challenged Soy and tolerated it.
I don't think I could add anything better than what has already been said.
I am SHOCKED that the OP has actually attended such tacky events in the past and then wants to copy them! You don't throw your own shower. Just in case she didn't catch it in the last dozen replies A SHOWER IS A GIFT SOMEONE ELSE GIVES YOU!
I would never ever attend such a tacky event where I had to pay for my own food with 120 of my "closest friends" to celebrate a baby - and bring a gift!?!
TACKY TACKY TACKY...I cannot say it enough.
Even I have to speak up about this.
Expecting people to pay 20 dollars for food, and the apparent privilege to sit there and watch you receive presents is BS.
I would decline on that basis alone. Do you think the economy is so good that if people, especially if it's more than one person such as a spousal set, decide to come, they can pay 40/60, whatever. PLUS a gift??
I would NEVER go to that. You know, it's bad enough you're throwing your own party, bad enough you plan to invite 120 people, but asking people to pay??
The party should be catered by whoever is having the party for you. Whether it's food that they cooked, or bring a dish, or something... I could handle bringing a dish... but damn if I would pay to give YOU presents.
Maybe I'd print a pic of what I was going to get you that cost 25 bucks, and say here is a 5 dollar bill... that's what is left after dinner, so you enjoy the 5-spot and don't spend it all in one place.
Really... who do you think you are? A princess?
Her profile says she is an event planner. She probably hangs out with those over-entitled types anyway... $50K Sweet 16's and stuff.
One could only hope.
This I wouldnt even go. I would bring you a gift when you got home but no there is nothing here that I would want to support. EVER.
I have probably been to at least 30 baby showers in my lifetime and have never ever had to pay to go to one. I think once or twice I had to pay for parking...but that was it. I have heard that in showers in Florida ask for money from guests to pay for food/decorations/etc. at a restaurant (not all of them obviously). My SIL who lives there says she has been invited to a couple that were like this...she did not attend so not sure what the reception was like.
I totally agree with the others...
1. Poor etiquette to host your own shower
2. Poor etiquette to ask people to pay for the priviledge of attending
3. Mud (I hope). No one can be that stupid.
4. 120 people is a huge shower. Is it so large because you feel many (like 90 percent) will NOT pay for their meal and not come? That would leave about 12 people...which is a small intimate baby shower.
1. A baby shower is a gift someone GIVES you.
2. You do not have 120 close, intimate friends. And that's what showers are for. Close, intimate friends. If other friends, coworkers, associates, etc. want to give you a gift,that's great.
3. Other posters have been right. It doesn't matter if other people have done this, in no way is this acceptable. I guarentee this is not a trend that will catch on. The prior showers you've attended that were like this were done by tacky/greedy people with no sense of decorum. Don't copy them.
I'm too cheap to pay for your meal,
despite what etiquette says it's no big deal.
I'm a momma-to-be
which means more prezies for me!
Diapers and books you'd better bring
in addition to all of my registry things!
120 of my "closest" friends
will ensure the gift-receiving never ends!
thank you cards, if you will
will only be sent if you foot the bill!
this is awesome!!!
i recently attended a shower like this. but there was nothing in the invite that said we would be expected to buy our meal. it was awful. i agree that a shower is an intimate get together for a mom to be and her close family and friends. a time to welcome the mother into motherhood and the baby into this world.
at the shower i attended, there were no games, nothing. we came, we ate, paid for our food, watched mom open gifts and left. didnt even get to talk to the mom to be.
DONT DO IT!!!!!
Let me just say that I have my Bachelor's Degree in Special Event Management...I am sure the type of "event planner" she is...is plan my own baby shower, plan my own birthday party event planner. She is giving true professionals a bad name.
There is no way a true event planner would think that it is acceptable to make guests pay their own way (unless, of course it was a fundraiser).
Food Allergies to Eggs, Milk, Peanuts, Tree Nuts & Beef
Challenged Soy and tolerated it.
I also have my own event planning firm and I agree with Tulips here...
BAHAHAHAHA
Oh Danilyn...once again....I completely love you for this!!
Not sure I understand the point of your response. The OP clearly said they would have guests pay for their own meal - prix fixe or not.