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Who does the family calling?

JstnJLJstnJL member
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Do you call DH's family or does he call them or do they call you? DH doesn't talk to his parents, but we still have relationships with his grandparents, but they rarely call us, and DH doesn't call them, so I feel like I have to call them weekly just to keep them happy (there are a lot of underlying family issues going on)  I have my own grandmas to keep up with.  So how do you and your sig other's handle this? I am to the point that I am just going to stop calling them, if DH wants to talk with them he will call or if they want to talk with us they will call.  Is that wrong? TIA!
and the greatest of these is love......2/10/07 David Noah joined us 08/08/09 Proud BE mommy! Colbie Faith joined us 05/20/11!
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Re: Who does the family calling?

  • RD'sgirlRD'sgirl member

    I definitely don't call dh's family.  Most of them live very close to us and they call him.  My dh is not the kind of person that just chit chats on the phone KWIM, so they usually call him.

    I  call my family but sometimes dh texts with my younger brothers.

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  • cooperme2871cooperme2871 member
    Basically my IL's and my family call me and nobody calls DH. He doesnt harldy ever call them either. He just doesnt like to talk on the phone and I usually organize any family get togethers anyways. He just goes with the flow and is very laid back about it.
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  • Becky262Becky262

    Nope, not wrong.  We basically do the same thing.  

    DH's parents have a ton of issues, so I generally don't talk with them and DH completely understands that.  They rarely call us too.  It is what it is and after years of trying to make it work with them, oh well


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  • emmared1986emmared1986
    DH's family lives really close, so we don't often call to chat. Occasionally, I will call MIL to ask a question or for a favor. I sometimes call her to tell her how a pedi appointment went. I also do mass picture messages every couple of weeks to DHs brother and SIL and my brother and SIL. I also include my mom, MIL, DH's aunt, etc.
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  • emiliemadisonemiliemadison member

    All of the above, I guess. DH pretty much does the communication with his dad and dad's wife because he doesnt get to see his dad as often as he would like so they like to talk when he does call. MIL calls both DH and me and I call her as much (or more) as DH does. But we have a great relationship.

    I think in your case, if its causing you stress to keep up the lines of communication, you need to tell your DH to take over. It's his family and if he wants them to be happy (aka hear from you), then he should make it happen. If they dont call, that's their issue.

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  • groovygrlgroovygrl member

    I do not call anyone in MH's family unless it is a birthday. Actually I have 2 SILs (wives of his bro's) that I do talk to on the phone maybe a couple times a year)... but he calls his family pretty regularly when he is in the car driving to & from work.  I feel no obligation to call his family to chit chat & update & he does not call mine.

    I send his parents emailed video & photos regularly as well as hard copies of photos about 1 time a month & I know they appreciate it b/c they always call to thank me, I think b/c none of the other kids send them pictures of their kids. So I figure I'm doing ok.   

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  • JstnJLJstnJL member
    Thank  you for you responses ladies! I dread having to call them weekly b/c they usually have something negative to say about the family situation.  DH has flat out said before that if they want to know what is going on with us, that they could call and therefore he is not willing to call them.  I will just let DH handle them.  BTW, DH talks with my family regularly, but he also works with my parents.
    and the greatest of these is love......2/10/07 David Noah joined us 08/08/09 Proud BE mommy! Colbie Faith joined us 05/20/11!
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  • jbl126jbl126 member
    I talk to my mom 100x a day.  But with DH's family, I usually have him call his mom.  His parents are divorced and he only talks to his dad maybe once a month and I would never call him.  But if it was something important I will call his mom.  We have a good relationship.
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  • JennifernKevin4everJennifernKevin4ever
    I have no problem with call DH's family. I get along with his family really well. I also work with his sister, so they are my family. DH doesn't call mine though. They live a little far so he isn't really close to them.
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