girls in late 30s/early 40s who did IVF- are you one and done?

cheekyali · July 2010

DS is 12 weeks and I just turned 39. DH refuses to even discuss this right now but if we are going to seriously want to TTC#2, we need to start at least discussing this in the next 6 month IMO. Part of me wants to try again, but part of me doesn't want to deal with the heartbreak of failed IVF or even another m/c. Need to do a lot of soul searching on this on this.

brideinOC · July 2010

I'm about to turn 39 and DH is 43, Claire is 18 months. DH has two children, 13 and 10, from a previous marriage, therefore I am one and done. We were so lucky to get pg on our first IVF, but I can't imagine having another m/c or a failed IVF at this point. Part of me wants another baby, but more of me is really happy with just having Claire. With DH's work schedule, I have the three kids by myself often and those are the days when I'm content with what we have.

skoorbnibor · July 2010

I am 40, we will try 2 more IVFs

EastCoastBride · July 2010

I was 38 when I had DS. We have 4 embryo's frozen right now which we're still sitting on while we decide.

There are a lot of factors that I'm weighing. My age. If we wanted a 2nd, I would want to do a FET by the end of this year. That would put me at 41 having a 2nd child. I really don't know if I want to do that.

Also, my DH's job is one that I basically have to plan on being a single mom for 2 out of every 3 weeks. Quite honestly, it's exhausting w/ just DS! The idea of adding a 2nd to the mix really weighs on me. And this is really a HUGE factor for me. Doing it all w/ DS on my own is hard. I just don't know that I have it in me to do it w/ 2.

2 kids also changes our financial picture, our daycare picture, etc etc etc.

Of course, though, I think "shouldn't we try to give DS a sibling?" (which isn't a guarentee, though, taht they'll be close!). In a perfect world DH would like a 2nd.

But if I factor out all the noise and really think about what *I* want, if I really stay true to my gut on this, I'm "one and done". I love DS, I love going through all the stages with him. But I really dont' want to do it again.

Dh is fine w/ whatever we do and is fully supportive if we say "we're done", and we're really pretty much 95% there.

Smudges*Mom · July 2010

I will be 39 next month. . . Between having to do IVF to get pregnant, a less than stellar pregnancy, a miserable end of pregnancy/delivery and then PPD/PPA. . . for my health and sanity, we are SO one and done!!! IMO, there is a huge difference between zero and one when it comes to having children. Sure, in my hopes, I wanted two kids, but my reality is different, and that's okay. I am extremely thankful for my son and I am content (enough) with our family. Best of luck with your decision.

leslieb923 · July 2010

I am 40, will be 41 in September. We have talked about it and we think that our son will be our only child. I would be almost 42 at delivery if I decided to do another IVF in the near future. (would be a FET) Yes, I always pictured the 2 kids and the white picket fence, but having one child will allow me to be a Stay at home mom at least until he starts school. I feel blessed to have my son.

Your son is adorable!

tapgirl · July 2010

I am 37 (38 in Oct) and DH is 42. I'm not 100% certain, but we may be one and done. I really don't want to go through IVF again. I'm actually not sure I even want to be pregnant again. Evem though I had a healthy pregnancy, I really just didn't enjoy it like some do. We've talked a little about adoption, but haven't done anything to really get going with that process, so apparently we are not really serious about it at this point.

If we were younger I think we would go for another one, somehow. I feel a little torn about this because I am very close to my sisters and would kind of like to give DS a sibling. But, as pp said, there is NO guarantee they would be close - or even get along.

itsmevkb · July 2010

I will be turning 39 in October and I'm struggling with what to do next. I have had two miscarriages now in the last six months and I don't know if I can handle another one, or even handle the disappointment of a failed IVF.

Also, I have two children so I sometimes fees guilty for wanting more and feel guilty knowing that if I do get pregnant again I will be high-risk and have limitations which will make taking care of my children harder. So, they will lose out on some things and my husband will have to shoulder a bigger burden. It's just a lot to think about.

When I type it all out like this the choice seems obvious, we should not try again, but deep in my heart I long for more children and in the end I think that overrides everything else.

lovemymonkey · July 2010

I just turned 39 and am pregnant with my first. Obviously I don't have personal experience yet on how tough it is to raise a LO, but as of now, I'd love a sibling (or two) for our LO. We had a surprise BFP after 5 failed IVFs though and I'm not counting on getting another surprise BFP, so we plan on going the adoption route for any future siblings.

InACitySoNice · July 2010

I'm over 40, and had our first at over 40. We have 2 daughters, 5 embryos on ice, and I want to have one more. My mother had me when she was 41 so my advanced age doesn't worry me. The only thing that worries me is lack of money to send 3 to college.

Our next attempt will be FET. If we didn't have the embryos on ice I wouldn't try for more, but I feel like they're mine, there's a chance one might be the other child I want, why not go for it.

Good luck deciding!

mybobble · July 2010

Im 37 and dh is 38.

Sadly ds will be our only child but not because of our age. We're 100% oop for i/f treatments. In the 3 1/2 yrs we cycled w/ the re we spent close to 65,000 (I can't remember if this includes my ivf cycle or not) and frankly we can't afford to do another cycle. None of my eggs made it to freeze so we can't even go that route.

While we'd love to have more children it just isn't an option for us. Unless 25,000 magically appears on our door then we'd be at the re's office in a heart beat.

I am blessed to have ds and I can't imagine my life w/out him. So he's going to be one loved little boy!

samk213 · July 2010

I will be 38 in Sept and our DS is just now 10 weeks. We've already discussed it and will be back at the RE's for IVF for #2 after DS's first birthday, mainly only because my OB would like me to wait a year since I had a c-section.

vandelay · July 2010

lovemymonkey:
I just turned 39 and am pregnant with my first. Obviously I don't have personal experience yet on how tough it is to raise a LO, but as of now, I'd love a sibling (or two) for our LO. We had a surprise BFP after 5 failed IVFs though and I'm not counting on getting another surprise BFP, so we plan on going the adoption route for any future siblings.

This almost exactly, except 1) I'm 41; 2) we would definitely only want one more sibling; and 3) I had 4 IVFs. Thanks for saving me the trouble of typing that out, LMM! :-)

caityr · July 2010

I will be 35 next month, and I am not considering going back for more treatments. If a miracle happened that would be diff but as of now we are considering ourselves one and done.

m&m2006 · July 2010

i'll be 36 when i have LO. dh and i have decided that we will definitely pursue treatment for a second. if i'm lucky enough to get pregnant a 2nd time, we will be done...hoping i would get pg with twins, but quite content with another singleton. if we aren't blessed with another pg, i feel so incredibly lucky to be carrying little m, that i think i could handle being one and done.

good luck to you on your decision.

epphd · July 2010

I'm 35 but my eggs act old

We are one and done unless a miracle occurs. Going through the whole process again would feel like stealing (financially and emotionally) from Sam.

njdcgirl · July 2010

DH and I are both 38. We've always wanted at least 2, so we had planned to try at least one more IVF (insurance will cover one more) after DS was born. Our initial plan was to not go back on BCP at all, and go back to the RE next spring, when DS was about 6 - 8 months old.

However, now that DS was born so early, I have a lot of hesitations about our plan. First, we don't know what (if any) long term issues A will have from being born so early - or even when he is going to come home from the NICU. I'm also very worried about having a successful pregnancy - I would probably have to get a preventative cerclage, and being on bedrest with a little one at home would be awful, and having another preemie scares me. I'm having a post-part appt with the MFM who delivered Andrew, and I'm going to talk this all through with her before making any decisions.

Adoption could be in our future, but we haven't done much research yet, and finiancially it could be out of reach. For now, I'm very thankful that DS is with us, and hopeful that I will be at peace with which ever decision we make.

DMD1029 · July 2010

LO #1 isn't here yet (another 3 months), but I've already started laying the ground work that we're going to need to get started again soon after its arrival. I'm 39 now too. It's not like I'm going to go back on birth control (hah! that was a waste of $$!), so if nothing's happening by next spring/summer (when LO is about 6-8 mos old), I'll likely start the with the RE route again.

Quizzle · July 2010

I'm 37. We're still up in the air. We'd like another, but have to see how finances work first....

At this point, I think what we'll do is try on our own for a bit, then use our frosties if we don't have luck by the time she's a year and a half. If they don't work, we're done. I have no desire to go through a whole IVF ever again. I want to be done by 40, though.

Temp848906437505510 · July 2010

We may be one and done, but, not necessarily by choice. It took me 8 IVF attempts and, ultimately, the use of donor eggs to have my daughter. We started trying at 36 and I had her at 40. If we were to do another fresh IVF cycle it would require selecting another donor and, well, that's just not happening. We do have one frozen embryo that we will use. If it works, what a blessing! But, if it doesn't then, yes, we are one and done.

Want a personalized experience?

girls in late 30s/early 40s who did IVF- are you one and done?

Re: girls in late 30s/early 40s who did IVF- are you one and done?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards