I don't really know what to do

alwysbrdmaid · July 2010

I had a miscarriage on Monday and now I just feel so empty. I want to just crawl under my covers and sleep for a month. I know that can't be healthy but I just can't imagine doing anything else right now. But at the same time I just want to move on. And then I feel guilty for wanting to do that because its as if I am forgetting about my baby. I had no idea how hard this was. I just don't know what to do now.

tctibbe · July 2010

I had the same feelings last week after my D&C. While the feeling of emptiness hasn't quite gone away, I feel like I can uncover to my neck. I don't want to have to stay too far away from everyone and I'm almost ready to interact with ppl again.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope that over time you will begin to heal.

Shayna0182 · July 2010

Each of those are normal emotions. I think when you go through a loss such as a miscarriage you follow the normal grieving stages. Hurt, depression, anger, and even a little acceptance are all common. Just do whatever you feel like doing. If that means you crawl into bed and cry your eyes out, that's ok. You will have good days and bad days, and just because you want another child, doesn't mean that you don't want the child you lost back. No one understands the ache of losing an angel quite like the women who've lost angels of their own. Please feel free to vent anytime you need to.

Hugs and prayers to you!

christyjolee · July 2010

I say cry it out or sleep for days....whatever works for you.

So so sorry that you are going through this. ((Hugs))

Runnergirl2242 · July 2010

I dont know, I think that greiving is healthy. I was a mess and sometimes I still am. There is like a hole inside that aches. If you need to crawl in bed and be there for a while you are allowed. Just remember that no matter what the world says you are allowed to greive this loss deeply.

calliemae0604 · July 2010

I found out Monday that we lost our baby as well. I am right with you in your emotions and fears and guilt....and all of it. It's so awful.

tkspilot · July 2010

I feel the exact same way. I too had a miscarriage on Monday. It was a worse than horrible day. Yesterday I was feeling 300%. I think I was just happy that the pain/cramping was gone. Today is not so good, I'm overcome with sadness. Stayed it bed for much of the day. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

PDXGal7868 · July 2010

I saw your post over on TTGP, I'm so sorry for your loss and sad to see you over here, but I hope this board helps you. It really is so hard, and I hope you feel better over time.

I personally had mixed feelings about it, feeling very sad and disappointed, and at the same time hopeful that we could start trying soon. Everyone is different but I hope you will find peace.

liveforhim · July 2010

I, too, suffered a blighted ovum:( All of the women here have experienced your pain and we are here for you for anything you need..it's not easy and it sucks we have to be here, but I pray you find much comfort and strength here as I have! ((SUPER BIG HUGS))

luckymrs. · July 2010

alwysbrdmaid:
I had a miscarriage on Monday and now I just feel so empty. I want to just crawl under my covers and sleep for a month. I know that can't be healthy but I just can't imagine doing anything else right now. But at the same time I just want to move on. And then I feel guilty for wanting to do that because its as if I am forgetting about my baby. I had no idea how hard this was. I just don't know what to do now.

First of all, I am so sorry.

Second of all, I have the same inner conflict you mentioned: I want to "move on", but I equate that with forgetting, and I don't want to ever forget this baby. I'm searching for the answer on how to heal without forgetting.

BlakeG · July 2010

I am so sorry for your loss. The whole process is a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm almost 5 months out since my loss and there are still times when I go from wanting to move on, to wanting to hide from the world. It will get easier to cope. Be gentle with yourself and allow yourself to feel anything that you are feeling. Grieving takes time. T&Ps.

JLMezzapesa · July 2010

alwysbrdmaid:
I had no idea how hard this was. I just don't know what to do now.

me either...I had my D&C 4 weeks ago this coming Friday. With the 5 days of knowing before the d&c, it probably took me at least 2 weeks before I started to feel "normal" again, but still so sad inside.

Someone else posted recently that at first people were supportive, but then soon afterward no one brought it up anymore. That's kind of where I'm at. I guess I should be "over it" by now, it's been 4 weeks.

When people do ask, that's all I can say. That I knew miscarriages sucked and were horrible...but honestly I had no clue before it happened to me. I'm so sorry you and everyone on this board is going through this - we just have to find comfort in each other I think, because unless you have gone through this yourself, you really don't understand.

Hang in there, give yourself more time, you just went through this only a few days ago. *hugs*

I don't really know what to do

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