Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

So today was a REALLY difficult day

I swear everyone found out their babies sex today IRL. My twin sister was no exception, she is having a girl. Isabella Jane is her name, 10 fingers, 10 toes, the u/s tech said she looks perfect.

I think I have been holding up real well. If I cry, it's in private. No one who knew about my m/c asks how I'm doing, and it's only been two weeks (found out three weeks ago). The only person that cared enough to write me a card was my sister's mother in law. So coming home from the big reveal at dinner my H asked me if I was OK, I told him this was really difficult. All I could think about at that moment was the big blood spot on the pad in my underwear at the moment... that was remains of my baby... I bursted out crying in the car, something I haven't done. And all I could remember him saying was, "This is common", not in a caring understanding way, but in a get over it kind of way.

I just feel like a HUGE failure right now, and no one seems to realize I'm completely empty inside. Ridiculously empty & completely depressed. I just keep faking these "I'm OK" & "I'm so happy for my sister" emotions.


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Married August 9, 2008
TTC Since September 2009

1st   BFP | EDD 10/23/10 | Natural M/C 03/27/10 | 10w 0d
2nd BFP 06/26/10 | EDD 02/25/11 | Natural  M/C 07/17/10 | 8w 1d
3rd  BFP 12/17/10 | EDD 08/24/11 | Natural M/C 12/31/10 | 7w 4d
4th  BFP 06/22/11 | EDD 02/25/12 | M/C D&C on 07/27/11 | 9w4d
5th  BFP 09/17/11 | DD Paige Lily born 05/16/12
6th  BFP 08/11/12 | EDD 04/11/13 | CP
7th  BFP 09/29/13 | EDD 06/04/14 | Natural M/C 10/27/13 | 8w1d
8th  BFP 12/16/13 | EDD 09/01/14

DX: Pericentric Inversion of Chromosome 8 & compound heterozygous for MTHFR mutations
RX: Lovenox/Heparin & Folgard

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Re: So today was a REALLY difficult day

  • I understand. My brother and his wife are having a baby this week and I want to be happy for them. I love them and I love my niece but at the same time I want my baby. I think its totally normal to feel bad about your loss right now. You will still love your niece.
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  • elisbuelisbu member

    I am so sorry!

    My sister who has a 3 month old, just told me she's trying again, and if she gets pregnant before me, I know I'll turn into the best liar in the world, telling her I'm happy for her.

    As for people asking how your doing or sending cards, I get jealous too when I see girls who say they had cards, flowers, and dinners pouring in! I got two cards, one from a distant aunt and one from my moms coworker. My MIL was great during the m/c, but now I agree that no one really asks anymore now that it's been 3 weeks.

    Again, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Know that every women on this board has felt that way towards someone and it's not strange. I am SO thankful for this board because just when I begin to feel alone, someone else pulls me up and shares a similar emotion to show me this is normal!

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  • imageelisbu:

    I am so sorry!

    My sister who has a 3 month old, just told me she's trying again, and if she gets pregnant before me, I know I'll turn into the best liar in the world, telling her I'm happy for her.

    As for people asking how your doing or sending cards, I get jealous too when I see girls who say they had cards, flowers, and dinners pouring in! I got two cards, one from a distant aunt and one from my moms coworker. My MIL was great during the m/c, but now I agree that no one really asks anymore now that it's been 3 weeks.

    Again, I am so sorry you are feeling this way. Know that every women on this board has felt that way towards someone and it's not strange. I am SO thankful for this board because just when I begin to feel alone, someone else pulls me up and shares a similar emotion to show me this is normal!

    I couldn't have said it better.

    I really hope tomorrow (and all your tomorrows) is better than today.   (((Hugs)))

  • I am really sorry.  I haven't been in that exact situation but I have felt similarly and it's very painful.  (((hugs)))
    natural m/c 7.1.10 :|: sticky baby 4.25.11 :|: #2 due 5.18.13 BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I can't imagine having a twin who is pregnant, but it will get better for you.  (((hugs)))
    My Blog
    We love and miss you Jillian (18w) and Peanut (6w). Welcome to our TAC miracle Jacob!
  • Oh, I can completely understand why you had a hard day. Being sad for your loss and struggling to be happy for your sister right now is normal. Hugs to you...
    Suze
    TTC#1 since May 2009
    PCOS * Hypothyroid

    Bean - BFP May 26, 2010. EDD Feb 3, 2011. Natural Miscarriage 8w5d - June 29, 2010.
    Pumpkin - BFP Feb 8, 2011. EDD Oct 21, 2011. Natural Miscarriage 6w3d - Feb 28, 2011.

    Femera started November 2014. 3 rounds, no luck. Moving to IUI.
    March 2015: IUI#1 - nope.
    May 2015: IUI#2 - nada.
    October 2015: IUI#3 - BFP on Nov 2, 2015! *stick baby stick!*

  • I am so sorry..it's ok to vent..we understand...you don't have to be happy for anyone right now..just take care of yourself first! ((BIG HUGS))
    So excited for our little blessing:)
  • chusumchusum member
    imagechusum:

    I just feel like a HUGE failure right now, and no one seems to realize I'm completely empty inside. Ridiculously empty & completely depressed. I just keep faking these "I'm OK" & "I'm so happy for my sister" emotions.

     Thanks ladies.  BTW, when I said "no one seems to realize..." I meant IRL. I know you guys all understand, and I thank all of you for your empathy! You all are WONDERFUL!


    image
    Married August 9, 2008
    TTC Since September 2009

    1st   BFP | EDD 10/23/10 | Natural M/C 03/27/10 | 10w 0d
    2nd BFP 06/26/10 | EDD 02/25/11 | Natural  M/C 07/17/10 | 8w 1d
    3rd  BFP 12/17/10 | EDD 08/24/11 | Natural M/C 12/31/10 | 7w 4d
    4th  BFP 06/22/11 | EDD 02/25/12 | M/C D&C on 07/27/11 | 9w4d
    5th  BFP 09/17/11 | DD Paige Lily born 05/16/12
    6th  BFP 08/11/12 | EDD 04/11/13 | CP
    7th  BFP 09/29/13 | EDD 06/04/14 | Natural M/C 10/27/13 | 8w1d
    8th  BFP 12/16/13 | EDD 09/01/14

    DX: Pericentric Inversion of Chromosome 8 & compound heterozygous for MTHFR mutations
    RX: Lovenox/Heparin & Folgard

    image

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