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Northern California Babies
s/o of Bed w/o Dinner... when did you start enforcing "must eats"
Like every kid... we've got a picky eater. We pretty much stick to fruits, dairy and carbs... but I really need to get him to eat proteins and veggies (the zuchinni muffins... do NOT count!). Eveytime I attempt to enforce "you have to eat this..." I cave... cause he doesn't eat it... and I need/want him to eat.
I keep telling myself that he's too young to learn the "what is in front of you is what's for dinner" rule... but I think I'm just taking the easy road.
At what age did you start enforcing your LO to eat what was on his/her plate?
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Re: s/o of Bed w/o Dinner... when did you start enforcing "must eats"
We started with DS when he was about 5. His weight and health were suffering because of his pickiness, so I had to do something. I was relying on Ensure type drinks to give him nutrition. Also, his dad's side of the family has extreme picky eaters- think DS' uncle ate nothing (literally nothing) but pepperoni pizza & chicken nuggets until he was about 13. I didn't want to get that far, so I put my foot down.
Now, I have heard phrases such as "Yummy! eggplant is my favorite!" or "Can I have seconds of spaghetti squash?"
We still have lots & lots of food issues, but it is slowly getting better.
Until and unless my kid has issues with his growth, I won't enforce must eats. It's not the way I want to parent my kid. My parents did it when I was a kid and I'm still pissed about it. It was arbitrary and showed absolutely no respect for my likes and dislikes. My mom liked to make themed dinners or things she grew up eating as a military brat and then force me to eat them. I'd gag and she'd insist. It wasn't a positive association with food for me and I still get pissed when I think about it. For her, she put work into making her special meals, and hated to think we were wasting them.
Anyway, so I won't be doing it with DS. His pedi doesn't support forcing a kid to eat anything. So even if I spent hours making it, he doesn't have to eat it.
Probably around 15 months. We were struggling with food at the time and giving her too many options, she gets 3 foods now. 1 fruit (jello counts right?
) 1 veggie, 1 carb/protein (cheese, pasta, meat) for dinner at home.
I serve them all on plate at once, sometimes she eats just the fruit, sometimes its just the carb/protein, sometimes its the entire plate. It really depends on her mood and the food we are giving her. If she doesn't eat everything I'll save it, just in case in an hour or so she starts signing more then I'll offer it again.
Also, what about beans, hummus, eggs, pb? Char loves to dip things, I think that's why hummus goes over well with her. She isn't a real fan of deli meat, but likes small bits of cubed chicken.
I should probably add Maddy isn't necessarily a picky eater so my response is based on that. I usually offer things I know she'll like, so its not always what I'm eating for dinner. Also Maddy has consistently been in the 90-100th percentiles for weight so I haven't been as concerned. As long as she growing, healthy and I'll just continue to offer normal healthy options. Heck, sometimes she prefers the healthy over the crap! I can't get my kid to eat a chicken nugget if my life depended on it.
The Blog | BirthbyKellyM
For the most part DS eats a pretty good variety so (knock on wood) there haven't been many issues with him refusing certain things. Veggies seem to be the most challenging thing for him to eat. He is offered the same meal that we eat that usually includes a veggie, a protein and a carb. He loves fruit so I hold that out until after dinner and resort to using it as a bargaining tool to get him to eat some of his veggies if he's not into them.
He also loves sauce, so if there's something he's not eating I'll offer him some kind of sauce to dip it in. Ketchup, mustard, gravy, BBQ, ranch, etc.
I've also started hiding veggies in things (and it works for me too!). Grated zucchini/carrots/spinach in spaghetti sauce or meat loaf.
I don't want to instill a clean plate club type of thought, so I make it about choices. If you choose to eat XX then yay, you get your fruit. If you choose not to eat XX tonight then no dessert.
Me too, M! Or french fries. I'll take it I guess, but it's just weird.
I should also add that we don't have a clean plate club- just eat a reasonable amount. DS would eat two bites & say he was full because he didnt feel like eating any more.
DD doesn't seem to have the same issues DS does about food *knock on wood* so hopefully we won't have to be as strict with her as we are with him.
I also hide extra veggies in everything.
Here is what I do with D, I don't force him to eat anything but I do offer him something I know he won't like on his plate in case he tries it. So I do chicken, pasta, and carrots. I know he only likes corn, but I want him to see the carrots and try them. If he doesn't eat it then it's not a huge loss. I have done like green tortellini and he won't eat it because it is green, he just doesn't eat. I figure if he gets hungry enough he will try them, but I won't cook him a whole other meal.
When I was in FL I was visiting with my friend who has a 4 year old and a 2 year old. What they do is no bread before you eat x amount of veggies or whatever the child doesn't like. If they don't eat the veggies and only meat they don't get the bread. Also at one meal the 2 year old didn't like anything and got upset. They pulled one piece of pork, one thing of pasta, and veggies and she had to take a "Thank you God" bite of each. The reason's are 1) be thankful you have food to eat since someone else may not. 2) they forget they really do like something and maybe by taking a bite they will remember (in this case it was pork and she does like it but did not remember it since they don't have it often) . I plan on doing this with Darrian as a sort of force/try thing.
I TOTALLY get that... But don't you think there's a happy medium? I mean... my kid eats NO veggies... OR protein... that's NOT OK. Its not like I'm going to force him to like broccoli... but he has to eat SOMETHING from the veggie category.
We don't have must haves, and won't ever force her to eat something she doesn't want to. Based on my own childhood experiences it can create negative associations with food and set up parent/child power struggles that can be traumatic for all involved. DD goes through phases--sometimes she licks the plate clean and sometimes she eats 3 bites and so I know it evens out (believe me, it has taken me 2 years to get to my zen like state with regard to her eating!) We ask her to try everything at least once and if she says it is 'yucky' we offer to take a bite and then make a big deal out of how delicious it is. She then usually realizes it wasn't so yucky after all. Her go-to foods change too. She used to ask for zucchini and eat yogurt by the truck load and now turns up her nose at both.
Everything she gets is healthy and I do hide veggies (for example, I will make her whole wheat english muffin 'pizzas' and add pureed squash to the tomato sauce), so I feel confident that she is pretty well balanced. If she refuses to eat or flips her plate (which has happened), meal time is over and I don't make her anything else.
Great ideas ladies! We do offer "three things"... but I'm so tried of him refusing the third I put on there (always something I want him to eat, but he doesn't!) that I've pretty much given up introducing new things! (BAD!).
Dipping is a great idea... need to try that more often.
Thanks for your thoughts!
I'm late to this conversation, but I thought I'd add in some stuff that we do. Up until about 2 we would offer something else if she didn't eat what was given. Recently, we've also started bribing her with a "popsicle" after dinner. We'll give her a certain number of bites she must take for each item if she wants her popsicle. The popsicle is actually a sleeve of yogurt that's been frozen. She thinks she's getting a treat and we don't feel bad for giving her a reward for her good eating.
If she only takes a few bites and then says she's done, we make her stay at the table while we finish eating. She'll almost always go back to eating after a few minutes of just sitting there.
And then there's our magic item: ranch dressing. She'll eat anything if she can dip it in ranch, which she calls "wipe sauce" meaning white sauce. I've seen her take out an entire plate of broccoli just because it has a little ranch on top.
That was my caveat A. C does eat protien and will eat brocolli every single day if we offer it. So for my kid, who is a healthy weight and eats a good variety of things (though not a big quantity), it's my goal to not force him to eat anything. If he doesn't like the chicken I made tonight, no biggie, he'll eat eggs for breakfast. If he doesn't like salad tonight, I know he'll eat blueberries or strawberries in the morning.
For your kid, and your circumstance, I'd try to figure out how to get the things you think he needs (if he in fact needs them) in other ways that respect his likes and dislikes and your needs. Like is it texture or temperature or flavor that he doesn't like? Can you alter that to be suitable for him?
I do think that's it sometimes... like... he will eat strawberries whole... but not if I slice them up. I also think he's just being stubborn... he chowed down on a veggie burger I was eating out at a restaurant... bought the same for home... now he won't eat them.
As for the "wipe" sauce... and books about food... gotten try that!
Ditto. Sometimes I use the.."you need x more bites before you can have x" If she's asking for something else. Other times, I say you don't have to eat the dinner but if you get hungry later than this is what you'll be offered. Or sometimes I offer as a late snack a piece of fruit.
What age did you start this?
I can't remember when I started with Emmy, she's a big food negotiator, but she eats well so it's not really a concern of ours, she just likes her desserts.
Ethan, I'm starting now in a way. A few days ago he saw some animal crackers laying out on the table and wanted those. I told him 2 more bites of what he was eating before he could have 1. Don't think he gets it yet, but if we're doing it with one kid we gotta do it with the other.
Cam started to be picky with veggies when he was around 1.5 or 2 years old. We have always served him what we eat, and he eats around what he likes. There have been plenty of times where he didn't eat much, maybe two or three bites and he goes to bed hungry. We started at around 2 years old I think ?
Now, we do alot of the: eat a bowl of soup with one piece of bread. Once he is done with his first bowl, then he gets one more piece of bread. I guess we do the bribery, but its with the food he is getting to eat, rather then a after treat or something. Now at almost 3.5 he is starting to eat veggies more. Before ALL he would eat was corn. Hummus, ranch and ketchup are also my best friends
Good luck, its so tough !
Ugh. So tough!! No real suggestions as we are stuck with Ty. I MARVEL at Jake's willingness to put any taste of food in his mouth, like his Daddy. Ty seems to be picky like his Mama.
We buy the veggie and fruit smoothies as Tyson isn't a fan of veggies in veggie form, other than corn on the cob and green beans. He'll also drink the Odwalla Green Machine drinks.
When Ty was A's age, I could hide meat and veggies in egg, rice mixtures, quesadillas, pureed squash or sweet potato in a grilled cheese...worked until he figured me out ; )
I think there is a huge difference from making your kid join the clean plate club and encouraging bites of other food. My parents were from the clean plate generation. I remember throwing up my salmon once and my dad making me eat. I can laugh at it now, my parents were human and they thought they were doing a great thing making me eat my fish. Did it scar me for life, no, I love fish now! I also love lots of different food and I don't know if I would like all of it, if my parents didn't do a little bit of forcing ;-)
We have started to do a little of what tribride/trireader said. Logan will ask for something specfic and I will say, you can't have x until you have a couple bites of y. He does get it, he may not like it but he will have another bite of a protein or whatever for an extra bit of rice on his plate.
We've been giving him those Plum packs (Peas, Pear and Spinach or something...) and he gobbles those up. So I guess we are getting a little veggies in him. Guess I've got to keep trying.
And it sounds like he's not to young to try "bargaining" with him.
Well I do think kids need a balanced diet, BUT people put too much emphasis on protein. Technically, you don't need to eat preformed protein because your body makes protein as long as it gets all the essential amino acids, which are the ones it cannot make itself. just to make you feel a little better.
"When the amino acids from two or more foods add up to make a complete protein, those foods are called "complementary proteins." Examples of complementary proteins are:Beans and tortillas.Black beans and rice.Chili and corn bread.Pita bread with hummus (ground garbanzo beans and sesame seed paste).You do not need to consciously combine these foods at every meal. Eating them throughout the course of a day will provide your body with adequate protein."
Remember, gorillas are 900 pounds of lean muscle mass and all they eat is plants.
Anyway, I guess maybe he doesn't like beans? but hummus and pita is usually a winner.And maybe he can eat mild chili? That is yummy. I sympathize because my baby is a very picky and scant eater. i am sure i will be stressing about this when she is done drinking formula, but I hope it picks up.