friend/community rant (long)
Hi All,
I just need to get this off my chest...So, I don't know if any of you have had anything similar happen...
Two women were trying to get pregnant at the same time I was. In fact I think I was the first to start trying. So, I'm thinking, great. We'll have this sweet little venue where we can all share and support each other through this process. It's taking us awhile and I'm asking for support and encouraging thoughts, words, whatever and just getting NOTHING from these two women. They both end up getting pregnant before me and suddenly get into telling me that-one girl told me over the phone as I was about to have 70 people at my house for a Chanukah party! She was calling to cancel since she didn't feel good...so anyway, I'm totally feeling isolated and left out and jealous...I finally get pregnant and still NOTHING from either of them-I'm reaching out and asking questions about their symptoms, etc. and hardly get a response. So now they've both had their babies and SUDDENLY they want to be all inclusive. Asking me how I'm feeling-finally-and giving me maternity stuff and stuff their babies have outgrown already. Right when I kinda don't really need their community anymore. I'm just like: 'DAMN". Why now? We got invited to one of the couple's 2nd parent adoption and the other one is giving me stuff left and right and invited me to a potential monthly baby dinner gathering with the other one and a few other people. What's up?? Why all of a sudden? Do you think they were being over protective of their fertility journeys? I guess I'm just really different in that if I can help a Lesbian get pregnant and get good ideas and suggestions throughout pregnancy I'm all over it. I think I'm just sad I am getting what I wanted but not at the right time now. Oh well. I can try to let it go... And I can be cautious with these relationships and not just come back for more when I don't understand if there are motives at play here or what? I'm not sure I should bring it up with them or just let it all pass by. Not sure if it's worth it.
Any thoughts here welcomed. Maxed on the hormones too.
Seahorse Mama
Re: friend/community rant (long)
I wouldn't try to take things personally.When C got pregnant and started to bleed something inside me changed until the babies were born. Though shy in some settings, I am pretty outgoing with those I know. I isolated myself from many people...ALL my thoughts were on C and the babies. I didn't have much to offer my friends...my conversations became pretty one-sided, so I backed off. The few friends I have mean the world to me, but I didn't know how to give positive energy to my friendships when all my energy went to supporting my DW and doing whatever needed to be done for the kiddos.
Sometimes we don't really know what is going on in people's lives.
I hope things work at for the best! Take care.
I agree with N2A. we had so much going on, and we were so focused on the baby and getting things ready that a lot of other things fell by the wayside. once he was here i felt like i was able to breathe again, even though that brought its own craziness. people deal with stress in different ways.