Stay at Home Moms
Ms Molly
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Thoughts on this issue?
Ms Molly
member
Taking paid maternity leave, and going back to work for a short time, knowing that you intend on quitting and SAH.
What about going back to work, realizing you'd rather stay at home, then quitting?
And.. go!
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Re: Thoughts on this issue?
I didn't have paid maternity leave, but I only went back to work for three weeks. I gave my notice and gave them time to figure out my replacement.
I don't see anything wrong with that. I think I did the right thing, better than calling up and quitting two weeks before my leave ended.
I took 12 months paid maternity leave (in the UK) with no intentions of going back. My boss knew from the beginning and I just had to submit a letter of resignation within the normal amount of notice time - 8 weeks prior to my last day of maternity leave naming my last day of maternity leave as my last day with the company.
They ended up hiring the woman that had been hired as my maternity leave cover so it all worked out great.
m/c at 13 weeks - March 23, 2011
I think it's perfectly acceptable to change your mind on returning to work after you've had your child. You don't know how you'll feel after you give birth. No matter what professional obligations you feel you have, the obligations you have to your child are superior.
Knowing that I'm going to be giving my child the care that no one else could takes away any guilt I have about not returning to work.
Do what you want. But know that when women are discriminated against because they are of child-bearing age and lose parental benefits, ect....it is because of people like you.
Personally- I only look at this situation from the stance of being a manager that has gotten screwed over by 6 different employees in less than 3 years. So needless to say I am quite opinionated on the subject.
I fully intended to go back to work. I even scheduled a meeting with my supervisor to talk about my new schedule. I originally scheduled the meeting about two weeks before I was supposed to return. However, we weren't able to meet until a week later. During that week, as I was thinking more and more about being away from my baby during my work hours, commute time, errand time, and having fewer days available for storytime, LLL meetings, and playdates, I realized that I would be miserable going back to work. So, although I felt really guilty and that I was letting down my supervisor, I only gave her one week notice that I wasn't coming back.
I would have been willing to go back for a couple weeks, but the nature of my job didn't make it worth it for them. (I was an adoption homestudy writer and each homestudy generally took two or three months to complete. It just didn't make sense for me to start any homestudies when I wouldn't work there long enough to finish them.)
I don't think I did anything morally wrong by giving so little notice...I gave them as much notice as I could. It is too bad that I didn't know what I needed earlier, but I simply didn't know. My supervisor offered to hold my position until DD was six months old (she was three months old when I quit) but I declined, because I didn't want to keep them in limbo.
I didn't get any paid maternity leave.
I used to work in business (marketing/sales). I can't speak for all lines of work (medical, public sector jobs, etc).
The business world does not demand that all employees give 12 weeks notice before quitting their job (men, childless women, etc). It does not demand that they train their replacement before leaving etc. Therefore, I don't see why a woman who has just undergone one of the biggest lifestyle changes she will ever face (pregnancy/childbirth/parenting).should be expected to give 12 weeks (+/-) notice. Nobody knows how their transition into motherhood will go until they DO it.
So, until all employees are advised to give 12 weeks notice before quitting a job I think its fine to wait until the decision must be made & then give 2 weeks notice. People change, circumstances change, and I really think it's great if women can keep all their options open as long as possible.
My 2 cents.
Ahem. Never said I was doing it, just asking for your thoughts.
I just wanted to add that this is standard practice in the UK (at least in my experience) and perfectly acceptable. The option to do exactly what I did was in my employee contract and I discussed it with my boss and our HR representative. It is why people who are looking for work will frequently take maternity cover (6-12 months) positions because they often turn into full positions when the mom doesn't come back. It was neither unethical nor unprofessional. I understand that it is a different situation here in the US given that our maternity leave benefits are pretty much crap.
Now telling your boss you are coming back when you know full well you have no intentions of doing so is a different story.
m/c at 13 weeks - March 23, 2011
I decided to let my employer know when I was 5 months pregnant that I wouldn't be coming back. It felt better to be upfront about it, especially since eventually I will be using my bosses there as references. They were very generous and gave me a few months paid leave anyway.
Overall, I think maternity is just a fact of life that employers need to accommodate. Most women have babies, and it's probably the best policy to give generous maternity/childcare benefits in order to attract the best people. Men too. DH gets 5 weeks of vacation a year that roll over -- definitely a factor in his taking this job as we plan for a DC #2.I did this.
I took paid maternity leave, went back for a month, and told them before I went back that I was quitting to SAH. It gave them 6 weeks to find a replacement and get things sorted out.
I'm also fine with going back, realizing that FT work isn't going to happen, and quitting. A friend of mine did that when she was miserable every day at work.
The only thing I give a major side-eye to is quitting less than 2 weeks before maternity leave is up. It burns bridges, leaves everyone in the lurch, and really, you should be able to figure it out before that much time has passed.
I had a pretty good idea that I wasn't going back and let my boss know I was leaning towards staying home, and she told me to make my decision once the baby is here. I had 12 weeks of leave and I told them after 6 weeks I wouldn't be back, so techincally they had a 6 week notice.
I agree if you found a new job then you would only give a 2 week notice, they know you could decide to stay home it's not a giant surprise. Plus, I was paid short term disability not Maternity leave, so that was a benefit that I had acquired based on my time there not a condition of returning.
I think you should always wait to decided, I did because I wouldn't know if I would love being home until I was and wanted my job to go back to in case I didn't like it. Plus my DH could have been laid off in the meantime and a myriad of circumstances could have come up.
Unfortunately today's workplace has no loyality to their employees and vice versa. They did lay offs at my company monthly with no notice. I left on great terms and have done some contract work for them.
I believe the reason American Companies don't give good parental benefits is because they are capitalistic and have no respect for work/life balance, not because of women not returning to work. Plus I found it was the working parents constantly calling out sick and leaving for different events, distracted on the phone with their children that caused productivity problems for my company in particular. (I know not every working parent is like this, but I know I would have been too, which is why I quit) If we all got a year of leave like in Canada a lot of us would go back no problem.
Natural M/c 12/13/08 at 8w5d
I absolutely agree. It's one thing to return to work for awhile after your maternity leave has ended and decide you no longer wish to work for whatever reason. It's another issue entirely to accept a paid maternity leave knowing full well that you plan to leave your employer high and dry at the end of it.
Taking a paid maternity leave with the full intention of not going back? I think that's almost like stealing.
Taking the paid leave, going back and then having your circumstances change which allows you to stay home - or realizing that you would prefer to stay home and just figured out how to make it work? That's a whole different story, IMO.
If you knowingly take your employer's money and lie about coming back, that's wrong. I think it all comes down to intent.