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Attachment Parenting
NAPR-teething necklaces/slight vent
I got Emerson an amber teething necklace. I was verrry skeptical, but thought they were cute so even if it didn't work, no harm. I honestly do think it has helped her some- there have been a few times she didn't have it on and I noticed she was fussy, put it back on and back to normal. It could be a coincidence, but maybe not.
My mom thinks it's incredibly unsafe. I explained to her they were made for babies, that several companies make them, it doesn't hang down or have any extra room that could get caught on things, etc etc. Yet every time my mom sees us- even when I'm there- she takes the necklace off. I get that it worries her, and honestly if I thought about it I would remove it before going just to make her feel better. But since Emmy never plays with it, I generally forget it's there and don't take it off.
It really is starting to irritate me- she obviously thinks I'm doing something that would endanger my child. I understand that it worries her, but going behind my back and taking it off (yesterday she took it off and put it in her purse, so it's almost like she is hiding it and hoping I'll forget) is a bit rude, yes? I just can't help but feeling like she thinks I'm slightly (or more than slightly) incompetent to weigh the dangers/risks in a situation and make a choice for my child.
aaaanyway- if you have an amber teething necklace, do you get comments about it being unsafe? If so, what do you say? Do you think they are unsafe?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: NAPR-teething necklaces/slight vent
I have thought about it a lot, and I honestly cannot think of any likely scenario in which her necklace would get caught on something, and I wouldn't notice. I can't even really picture how it would get caught on something- it's not big enough to get caught on her chin, or stick her whole hand under, and I can't really think of an object that would be anywhere near her neck that would go under it and become immovable. Maybe I need to research how often children are strangled by necklaces while supervised? And how those happen? That doesn't sound like a fun google search...
It's not okay for your mom to second guess you. Period.
I don't like necklaces and probably wouldn't put one on my child, BUT, you can get amber teething anklets (they are supposed to be just as effective) and the anklet wouldn't scare me, is it possible that you could switch to an anklet just to get your mom off your back?
the necklace has a magnetic clasp that breaks away fairly easily, if that matters...
I thought about putting it around her ankle or wrist, but honestly it seemed more likely to me that she would get her hand/foot caught on something than her neck.
as long as she doesn't sleep in it, and the beads are each tied on (knots separating each bead) then I don't see it being unsafe.
Safe or not, your mom needs to respect your wishes. She's way over the line in this regard.
j+k+m+e | running with needles
The magnetic clasp makes it a completely different story, and would make me feel much safer. I know that the good amber necklaces are knotted between each bead so if it breaks you don't have a bunch of beads rolling around.
Bottom line is it's your child and your choice; explain to your mom about the clasp and that you really don't appreciate her interference.
I totally agree. Each of my 3 boys wear them, and I am not worried about them being unsafe one tiny bit. They only wear them when supervised and never to sleep. The only person who doesn't like them is my father in law, but his reason is that he thinks that we are making the boys either "girly" or "hippy" and that is not okay with him....I don't care. They still wear them.
After all the moms at swim class raved about their amber necklaces we went and picked one up today. I've been running through the unsafe scenarios in my head and can't really think of any that are more unsafe than a million other things in our house or daily life. The drive to the pool and back is still monumentally more unsafe than his necklace.
Would it help to ask your mom exactly what she thinks will happen? When my mom panics (which is often, about various things) I generally have her talk through the scenario and then explain my take on the calculated risk and all the data that influenced my decisions. I'm pretty big on calculated risk. We just had a big discussion about RF since M will be 1 tomorrow and my mom thinks we need to turn him.
Also, I asked Dr. Google, and could find an abstract that pulled up the following phrase in an Emergency Med. Journal: "Between January 1990 and February 1995, there were nine reports of strangulation deaths caused by necklaces in children ranging in age between 11 months and . . . " but couldn't access the rest.
So, in a risk hierarchy, it is less safe than an infantino sling rider and more safe than letting your child ride in a car.
baltic creations
It was awhile ago though, but I think you can choose the type of closure on it.
Oops, it's inspired by finn. I have baltic creations on my FB "like" list, but inspired by finn was having a 50% off sale for first time amber users, so I went with them. I'm not sure if that sale is still good, you might contact them and ask. Here's the link
https://hyenacart.com/inspiredbyfinn/index.php?c=120
I have one too, and I do think it's possible it's helped my migraines a tiny, tiny bit. It hasn't hurt, at least
I haven't researched them so I won't get in on the safety discussion but regarding anything, I agree with this quote. It would really make me angry, to be honest, if she took the necklace off. It isn't her place at all.
In my mind, that is similar to her going into your LO's room, seeing a safe crib and putting a bumper on it because your LO might stick an arm through. It isn't her call to make. I realize this is a different scenario but what you described would really push my buttons.
I would not have Emmy wear it the next time you see your mom and I would say to your mom "You might notice Emmy isn't wearing her necklace. I got tired of you disrespecting my wishes and insulting my parenting." I wouldn't really say it, I have very big balls in my head, lol!
We have the inspired by finn screw clasp but it's a pull away clasp - I tested it and you don't have to pull that hard to have it come apart. I'm comfortable with it. The clasp breaks free, the beads are double knotted, and if she someone bit one free it isn't very big/I don't think she would choke on it.
I'd probably ask your mom to respect your parenting decisions - your baby, your decisions.
My Emerson (how did I not know your daughter was also Emerson - love it!!!) has been wearing a teething necklace almost 24/7 since she was 4 months old and I fully believe it works.
Mine is from PlacentaBenefits.info, but is very similar to the Inspired by Finn ones in that it is a screw clasp, but with any tug it pops open. There is a knot between each bead so that if it does come off or break, there isn't a choke hazard. The beads are soft and smooth and Emerson doesn't even notice it is on 99% of the time.
I used to take it off for sleeping and baths but would forget to put it back on and she would fuss from the teething pain. Now we keep it on. I have seen her once tug at it and it popped off, so it doesn't need a ton of yanking to be freed.
Everyone I know when she was little would mention how unsafe it was, but I would spout off the facts and the best thing was showing people how she didn't even notice it was there. Now that she is older people just comment on how she has a pretty necklace.
What kills me is how people will freak about a necklace, but believe in CIO, feeding 3 month olds solids, telling me to wean because she is "too old" to nurse, flipping around their carseats as soon as the first birthday, etc etc etc. I have been known to fight back when a parent comments on the danger of the necklace, I comment on their carseat or their child drinking chocolate milk at 10 months, etc. The way people get attached to one thing, and don't realize the issues they have themselves. I did that with my mom, I said that she smoked at the same exact time she nursed me, she weaned me at 4 months, she drank the entire time she was pregnant, she put me to sleep on my stomach, with bumpers, and let me CIO. And I turned out okay luckily. She doesn't have the right to judge my parenting skills. I didn't say it that meanly, but in a way I said, you did it your way with your child, I will do it my way with mine. Deal.
I am planning on getting one for DS. It is a homeopathic way to relieve his pain, which is what I want. If anyone, even DH, wants to tell me it is unsafe, then they are just going to have to deal with it. I'd rather not give my baby tylenol or other sorts of medicine, when these necklaces have been used for years around the world. I am home with DS every day, so he will be supervised when wearing it.
I showed DH the necklace on the internet that I was thinking about getting. His first reaction was "That looks like a BS." I said "Well, you may think so but it't better than medicine. People have been using these for years." He didn't say any more. I'm sure my mother and MIL will freak when they see it. Just like they do when they are told he has never taken a bottle (not my choice, his!) and sleeps in our bed or didn't get rice cereal until 6 months. I'm the parent here, and I will do what I think is best for my child.
I'm off to order my necklace!
that's what i thought too
well, I would. And do.
I really would be interested in seeing how many deaths are caused by supervised infants wearing necklaces. I'm guessing pretty few, but I don't know for sure. I think our coffee table is probably more dangerous, in all honesty. And the electrical outlets. And the floor lamp. And, and, and...
That's a NURSING necklace.
And teething necklaces are not something the baby chews on. It's usually too short for them to even realize it is on.
I'd wager that it takes more effort to pull a twizzler apart than a magnetic or pull away clasp on one of these necklaces.
DD has worn one 24/7 since she was 10mos old, so almost 2 years straight. When she was little she didn't even notice, now she knows it's there but doesn't mess with it at all. It fits snug, pops apart when there is any pressure applied, and I find it hard to imagine a scenario that it would get caught on anything due to how close it fits on her neck.
Everyone gets to make their own choices. I really was just shocked that that's what a teething necklace actually is. I didn't say you were a bad mom for using it. And no child is supervised every second of the day. If it works for you, great, but I wouldn't be surprised if I were you that people question it.
Are you thinking that the baby teethes on the necklace? B/c that's not it. The baby just wears the necklace.
The amber's contact on the skin is said to relieve pain.
I don't care if somebody questions me once about anything- cosleeping, teething necklace, BLW, breastfeeding- whatever. But to repeatedly not only question me but go behind my back and try to hide an item I purchased for my child- that's not cool.
I am truly not being snarky- I'm curious to know if there have been incidences where a child wearing a close fitting, breakaway with individually knotted beads necklace has been injured by it, and how it happened. I cannot imagine a likely scenario (and I have a vivid imagination) so I felt comfortable with it. I'm hyper paranoid about other things, this just isn't one of my concerns until somebody shows me otherwise.
i SWEAR by teething necklaces - DD ran a fever (the only one she's ever had) one day due to teething but we never had to give her any medicine - i could tell she didn't feel as well as she normally did, but she didn't cry, wasn't fussy, etc. - we just let the necklace work its magic - DD wore hers until her 2 year molars came in and DS is wearing one now - i do think the butter/milk beads are the best - i had DS wearing a cherry one at first but it didn't work as well - once we replaced it with the butter one, he's done MUCH better
i was worried about the strangulation thing in the beginning but after DD started wearing it and i did some more research, i realized it was a non-issue for me - plus, i got tired of taking it on and off - my kids wear them 24/7 now