Community› The Bump Message Boards› Success after IF
Success after IF
New Discussion

Friend vent

FaithRocksFaithRocks member
in Success after IF

Disclaimer: I TOTALLY respect those of you that have a birth plan, I think that is totally great and I wish I could do that but it looks like that's just not in the cards for me.

BUT WHY does this friend of mine insist on complaining to ME of all people about her birth plan possibly being screwed up? I mean, with Trig I had an abruption and it was very scary. I was induced and ultimately VERY thankful that I was able to deliver vaginally because all signs pointed to c-section. But you know what, that would have been fine as long as Trig was fine. I tried to tell her that the ultimate goal is a healthy baby and I shared my experience that induction does not always mean c-section because it was positive for me, but she doesn't want to hear that.

So this friend of mine is literally at her due date today and she's telling me how upset she is that they are talking induction because her BP is going up. I know it's disappointing but perhaps I am the wrong person to complain to given that I had a preemie in the NICU for 33 days the first time and I may be looking at NICU time with this one if I can't keep my legs crossed a little while longer???? 

Sorry, vent over. 

Report Reply to Post

Re: Friend vent

  • brideinOCbrideinOC

    Truly unfortunate that some people just don't think before they speak!  With IF, being pg and with kids, I've learned that there isn't ONE plan.  There's usually plan A followed by plans B and C! 

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member

    Big picture of "here is what I would prefer to happen if I have a choice" makes sense.  That concept of a birth plan - I think it's important for women to have those.  A part of my "plan" was that I wanted an epi.  For women who don't, obviously its important for the the key players to know this.

    That's just one facet, but for anything that could happen, it's good to know waht the mothers wishes are. 

    But beyond that aspect, I dont' understand people who come up w/ detailed birth plans and then get overly upset when they dont' happen.  You're GIVING BIRTH.  There is only so much of a "plan" that can go into it.  To come up w/ a detailed, and I'll even say rigid, plan that is really the only "acceptable" thing that can happen is truly unrealistic.  Women who do this set themselves up to be disappointed.  

     

     

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

    Report Reply
  • howleyshellhowleyshell member
    Isn't it funny how our life experiences change our perspectives on things?
     
    I have a GF who seriously needed therapy when she was still not able to get over needing a section for her breech baby a full year after the birth.  She was sooooo wrapped up in the fantasy of her birth plan that she just couldn't move past having anything different than what she pictured actually happen.
     
    Me?  I was GRATEFUL to have a section.  I was grateful to finally have a baby alive and in my arms - even if I did have to wait 3 hours after he was born to finally hold him.   I 100% could not relate to how profoundly she was impacted by her "failed birth plan" (her words.... IMO any form of birth that yields a healthy mom and baby is a smashing success!)
     
    Everyone has their "thing".
     
    I'm sorry she's picking such a totally sucky time to be venting her frustrations in your direction. 
     
    She's so wrapped up in her own stuff that I really believe she has no idea how insensitive she's being. 
    Our IF journey: 1 m/c, 1 IVF with only 3 eggs retrieved yielding Dylan and a lost twin, 1 shocker unmedicated BFP resulting in Jace, 3 more unmedicated pregnancies ending in more losses.
    Total score: 6 pregnancies, 5 losses, 2 amazing blessings that I'm thankful for every single day.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"