Fussy/colicky baby at daycare...

charlies-angel · July 2010

Hello. I have another month before I go back to work, but I am so scared to send my fussy/colicky baby to daycare. Does anyone have any experience with this? I am so worried that she will just cry all day. She is such a high needs baby and I am just scared that daycare will not work out. I have no choice and I have to go back to work. We also don't have any family in the area who could watch her. Any advice or success stories would be appreciated. Thanks!

Jaylea · July 2010

DD was had colic and was fussy all day, every day too. She did fine. IF anything, she benefited from watching the other children during the day. I benefited from getting a break and getting my sanity. My maternity leave was very difficult at times because she cried all day, every day.

It will be fine. The providers will have some experience with colicy babies, and may even have some tricks. Also, in a month, she may be past the worst of it. Good luck!

trinny · July 2010

Jaylea:
DD was had colic and was fussy all day, every day too. She did fine. IF anything, she benefited from watching the other children during the day. I benefited from getting a break and getting my sanity. My maternity leave was very difficult at times because she cried all day, every day.

It will be fine. The providers will have some experience with colicy babies, and may even have some tricks. Also, in a month, she may be past the worst of it. Good luck!

same here. I was amazed how much DD improved after being in daycare (could have also been her age and she grew out of it). They have a lot of experience with dealing with fussy babies. I also worried they wouldn't like her very much, but just the opposite-- she got way more attention and they genuinely missed her when she moved up. One of the teachers even snuck over to see her regularly!

It is tough when you feel like "I'm her mom and I can't deal with this" and then you have to hand her off to someone else, but it was really the best thing for us all.

BTW-- colic doesn't last forever and DD is now just an amazing/fun toddler. Things got better for us around 5-6m and all but went away around 9m. Seems like the more mobile she got (sitting up, crawling, cruising, etc), the better. Hang in there, mama!

charlies-angel · July 2010

Thanks for sharing! It is great to hear these success stories. I was hoping that 3 months would be the "magical" time when things would get better, but so far she is still pretty fussy. Maybe it will get better before she goes to daycare but we'll see. Thanks again.

KathrynMD · July 2010

you will be amazed at all the tricks your daycare teachers have up their sleeves - remember most of them have been doing this for years. ..

Be sure to talk to the teachers/director and explain your concerns too.

SoonerMagicMama · July 2010

My high needs baby started daycare at 5 months and I couldn't stand knowing that he was crying all day every day. I just couldn't stand it. So, I found a nanny to keep baby at our house, and that worked great for us. At 13 months, though, I put him back in daycare and he's doing beautifully. His same teacher from the infant room is now the teacher in the 1 year-old room and she cannot believe how much he has mellowed and how independent he is now. At 5 months, he wanted to be held constantly (which is why the individualized attention from the nanny worked). Now at 15 months, he is a busy body and wants to do everything on his own. I guess my point is that your baby will grow out of this. If you can find another situtation that gets you through that tough, high needs time period, jump on it. But, if you're stuck ... just rest assured that it will pass in only a short time.

Alibean · July 2010

I put my very colicky DS in daycare at 8 weeks. He was super, super fussy. The staff tried everything. DH went to drop off a check in the middle of the day once and the staff was looking up on the internet how to stop a baby from crying. For a long time, due to kids being sick and waiting for new babies, etc, there were only 5 babies and 2 staff. One week, the class filled up and there were 8 kids w/the same amt of staff. The room felt like total chaos. That week, I spoke w/the staff and they told me DS really was not adjusting well after 8 weeks. He would be there for 8 hours and rarely sleep. They were so excited when he slept 45 minutes one day.

The night after I spoke w/the daycare staff, I had a long talk w/DH. I was only working part-time and we just decided I needed to stay home w/DS. It broke my heart to know that he was crying almost all day and the staff just did not have time to hold him. To their credit, they did try a lot of things-- one employee did a project on him for a class she was taking. At any rate, we just decided it wasn't right for us and here I am, 3 years and another child later, looking for work. I feel really lucky that I was able to stay home for 3 years even though that wasn't really in the plan. I am hoping to return to work on a part-time basis but it's taking some time to find a job due to the economy and the schedule that I want/need.

So, this has turned out to be really long but good luck with whatever decision you make. It's not an easy decision but I think it's definitely worth trying the daycare thing to see if it works for you.

charlies-angel · July 2010

Alibean, do you remember when your DS mellowed out and became less colicky?Did he improve at all during the 8 weeks he was in daycare? I am going to have to try daycare and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, I guess we will have to figure something out. I am just praying that it works out because both DH and I need to work. I do plan on meeting with staff and discussing my concerns. Thanks everyone for the support! I hope I can report back with a success story in a month!!

SMR924 · July 2010

Same thing with my son, went to daycare at 12 weeks. He was starting to come out of the colic stage though. Your baby won't be the first or the last colicky/fussy baby to enter daycare so don't worry. It will go away!

Alibean · July 2010

charlies-angel:
Alibean, do you remember when your DS mellowed out and became less colicky?Did he improve at all during the 8 weeks he was in daycare? I am going to have to try daycare and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, I guess we will have to figure something out. I am just praying that it works out because both DH and I need to work. I do plan on meeting with staff and discussing my concerns. Thanks everyone for the support! I hope I can report back with a success story in a month!!

I think he maybe mellowed out a little. He was super, super colicky though. I know they say colic is supposed to be gone by 3 months but this was certainly not the case for us. There was a marked improvement by 6 months but we were still having a lot of problems. The staff was great about working with us to find ways to make things better for DS. He was just such an extreme case, I think. It just didn't work out for us. I almost didn't reply to your post b/c I didn't want to be negative but I think it's good to hear both sides. I think part of the sleep problem was that the cribs were in the same room where everything was happening and the lights were always on. Good luck w/daycare and I hope we do hear a success story soon!

charlies-angel · July 2010

Alibean:
charlies-angel:
Alibean, do you remember when your DS mellowed out and became less colicky?Did he improve at all during the 8 weeks he was in daycare? I am going to have to try daycare and hope for the best. If it doesn't work out, I guess we will have to figure something out. I am just praying that it works out because both DH and I need to work. I do plan on meeting with staff and discussing my concerns. Thanks everyone for the support! I hope I can report back with a success story in a month!!
I think he maybe mellowed out a little. He was super, super colicky though. I know they say colic is supposed to be gone by 3 months but this was certainly not the case for us. There was a marked improvement by 6 months but we were still having a lot of problems. The staff was great about working with us to find ways to make things better for DS. He was just such an extreme case, I think. It just didn't work out for us. I almost didn't reply to your post b/c I didn't want to be negative but I think it's good to hear both sides. I think part of the sleep problem was that the cribs were in the same room where everything was happening and the lights were always on. Good luck w/daycare and I hope we do hear a success story soon!

Thanks for responding! My daughter is pretty colicky too and it certainly didn't end at 3 months. God bless you for dealing with colic for 6+ months! I am soooo hoping that DD does not last that long but at least I know that its possible. Thanks again!

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