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December 2010 Moms
GreenPapaya
member
My MIL ruins everything...(vent, long - sorry...)
GreenPapaya
member
So last Wednesday we had our big ultrasound and officially joined team pink (go pink!). We got a bunch of really great ultrasound pictures (which I am totally in love with), scanned them in, and emailed them to our parents. We've also since sent them off to some friends and other people (because they're SO cool!). We did, however, tastefully leave out the photo that definitively shows us that it's a girl (let's just say it's NOT a head shot).
Anyway, my parents got the pictures and thought they were really cool (apparently one of the women my mother works with used to be an ultrasound tech, so she had a lot of fun seeing way more than she would normally get to see in the pictures). My MIL was out of town at a conference, but my FIL was really excited about the pics and talked to DH for a while (when she's not around DH actually gets to talk to his father, who doesn't get a word in edgewise otherwise as they both always have to be on the phone at the same time).
So, MIL got back from her conference today to call us to tell us that she saw the pictures. Her first comment was "Well, that baby doesn't look like she wants her picture taken." Then she started talking about all these people who thought they were having a girl, but had a boy, and vice versa. DH tried to explain that we saw pretty definitively that it was a girl, but she just doesn't listen to any facts/opinions other than her own. GAHHHHHH, I just want to scream!!
Then, she announces that they really want to come out and visit sometime this summer (read stay with us and stress me out - last time they visited it triggered the beginning of my RA). THEN - she starts quizzing DH about my OB, who apparently she has decided is not competent and is going to convince us to induce early for convenience (FYI my goal is to avoid pitocin at ALL costs). I don't know where she's got this early induction thing in her head from. It's like she's convinced that my OB is evil and that she as a pediatric nurse and lactation specialist who's been on "maternity leave" since DH's older brother was born knows more about medicine and babies than my incredibly competent OB does.
Anyway, sorry to vent about this, the woman is just a competely crazy controlling witch with a b.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My MIL ruins everything...(vent, long - sorry...)
People get extra nosy when you're pregnant. And mask it under a veil of concern.
And this is off topic, and it's going to sound preachy, but be thankful you've got an MIL (even if she's a little "off"). Mine passed away 2 months ago and I was crying this morning thinking of how my LO is going to miss out on a wonderful grandparent. Just food for thought...
I know you were really close with your MIL, and I'm so sorry to have touched a nerve. I wish I had that kind of relationship with mine. She is a nice woman who means very well, but who always has to be right, and will be right at any cost to others emotions/needs. I am very glad that my child will have all 4 grandparents, and even 4 great grandparents. However, I am having a very hard time with my mother in law. This seemed like a safe place to vent, because I really can't get it all out to DH (it is his mom).
Also, this stuff started LONG before I was pregnant. This is a woman who once saw my messy room (right before DH and I moved in together, when everyone had just dumped all of his stuff everywhere all over my tiny apartment bedroom) and told me that if my room wasn't cleaned up by the time they got back, DH was not ALLOWED to live with me.
I know I don't know your entire situation, and I'm sorry you are having a rough go with her. I know they can be bad. My mom has a horrible one in my grandmother. And here, on the December board, is a perfectly safe place to vent. I'm not trying to attack you in any way.
So I do not know or understand all of what you are going through, but I do hope things get better for you. Maybe the two of you can make an effort to work towards a better relationship? I would try talking to DH about it some, too. It can't hurt- just be sensitive. I'm just kind of in a seize the day moment because you never know when someone will be gone.
I'm trying to kind of let it go, that's partially why I'm venting here, because it is safe (and it won't get back to her...and it's so much better than the vicious cycle of venting with my SILs, because we just feed off each other (she's MIL to all of us)).
DH complains about his mom all the time, and that's fine, and I can definitely tell him when I'm annoyed, but I don't feel right letting him hear all my frustrations, because it's just not fair. He knows, and he understands, but he doesn't really want to hear about it whenever she calls, and sometimes I just need to let it out.
I grew up with parents and grandparents that really didn't get along. My parents tried really hard to let many of my grandparents' idiosyncrasies go, and always taught us to respect our grandparents and enjoy the time we spent with them. I hope to be able to do the same with our children. That said, she's still difficult.