DH made me cry ( Vent. Sry.)

Mamita10 · July 2010

I'm officially a stay at home mom. I had to quit my full time job recently to take care of our kids and my disabled mother. My husband works full time as a foreman in a landscaping company, and he has long hours.

I know he works hard. But ever since I've stopped working and started staying home 24/7 I feel like I've lost all respect. Tonight I just asked him to get the mail, because I hadn't even sat down to barely eat my dinner, and he gave me this disgusted look and said " You always want ME to do everything! ". I asked him what he thought I did all day, and his responce was I sit around and watch t.v.. Pfft.

I cook, clean, wash clothes and dishes for every single person in my home. That is 3 adults and two children. I take care of our animals. I make sure my daughters get thier baths twice a day, always have clean clothes on, nice hair. I make sure my mom takes her pills and gets enough rest. I'm constantly looking over everyone, I actually wake up startled sometimes in the middle of the night thinking I forgot something, or left someone unattended.

Now I did all that with a full time job up until about a week or so ago.

My husband: Works full time, eats, sleeps, watches t.v, showers, goes fishing at every opprotunity, goes out to the mall and to stores, because he needs to "escape" sometimes. Oh, and he does the all mighty task of taking out the trash.

I would really like to put my foot down ( or up his wazoo ) to make him pull some more weight around here, or at least appreciate what I do. I could easily go back to work, put my daughters in childcare, my mother at a day program, and he would STILL complain about something I'm not doing.

Sorry.. fustration.

Chick7806 · July 2010

Sounds like you two need to have a serious talk before things get worse. These are the kind of things that build up over the years and cause big time problems.

babyonthebrain2010 · July 2010

I'm sorry you're going through this

a lot of times lack of communication between husbands and wives can destroy an otherwise happy marriage.. not necessarily leading to divorce, I mean, but unhappy people who are forced to just tolerate each other. obviously I dunno you or your DH or anything about your relationship, but if you need somebody to talk to you can PM me. I have some books I could recommend you about transitioning to a SAHM... I hope things get better for you and your fam!

kat81 · July 2010

That's really bad. I would not be married to someone like that. It's my biggest pet peeve ever. You need to talk to him. I recommend logging each activity and putting down how much time each thing takes. Maybe then he will understand how hard you work. He has no idea of how hard it is.

ETA: Only upon re-reading did I realize my post sounded bitchy and unsupportive. I'm not saying your husband is a bad guy. ALL guys (and most gals...myself included) say things like your husband did from time to time when we/they get stressed or have a bad day. But all I'm trying to say is that you need to talk it out, even if it might have been a rare occurrence (and it sounds like maybe it's not....) It needs to be addressed now before it builds and there is resentment. In all likelihood, once you present the evidence, he will realize how much you do and back off. There is also a chance (though small) that he does some things for the family that you didn't even know about. This is a very common and very big issue in many couples. Talking about it now will solve problems down the line.

chichilove · July 2010

God Bless You and your unborn child. like pps said you two sould talk. but you really don't need that stress in your pregnancy. hope things work out.

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