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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
Intro: Dealing with Late Loss
I am new to this board and recently miscarried my first baby at 20 weeks. It took my husband and I a while to conceive. I am a carrier for Fragile X syndrome, so we were ecstatic to learn at 12 weeks that our little girl was completely healthy. At that point, we thought everything would be fine with the pregnancy.
At around 18 weeks, I started spotting. I went to my doctor and she checked everything out - placenta location, cervix, how the baby was doing. Everything was fine. Then at 20 weeks, my water broke in the middle of the night. We went to the hospital and were told that there was a chance it would reseal, but there was a high risk for infection. I hoped that since I'm young and healthy, it would reseal and everything would be fine. Then the nurse took my temperature and she had tears in her eyes when she told me I had a fever. The fever, my fast pulse, and the baby's fast heartbeat meant that I had already developed an infection and we were told the baby could not survive. We delivered our baby the next morning. She looked perfect and we got to hold her. I love her so much and I cannot believe she's gone.
It's still hard for me to believe that I'm no longer pregnant and that we'll never know our little daughter. I thought it would help to share my story and hear from anyone who's gone through something similar.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Intro: Dealing with Late Loss
Jenn
IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN
Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10
BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11
Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11
my blog
TTC #1 since May 2010. BFP #1 - 5/31/10; m/c on 7/22/10
Started seeing RE in August 2011
5 IUIs: BFN; IVF #1 - Success! BFP - 7/25/12
BFP #1 5/2010 - Missed m/c at 8 weeks
BFP #2 2/2011
Baby G welcomed with love and relief 10/2011
Surprise BFP 1/8/2013...say what? Baby A arrived 9/2013
Motherhood is not for wimps
I am so sorry for your loss.
My story is like yours, my husband and I took a long time to get pregnant. We actually had to concieve on fertility drugs.
I was estatic / scared when I I found out we were having triplets. I lost one at 12 weeks and than like you I started spotting. I got check out by the doc who never did an exam but told me it was just pelvc pain and to go home and relax.
That Monday I called back as all weekend I was in extreme pain, and a new doc did an exam and saw I was 4cm dialted and 100% effaced. I was admitted into L&D at 5 pm.
My water broke 12 hours later and I delievered my daughter on March 23rd, and my Son who was still alive, but because of infection came 19 hours later on March 24th.
I am so sorry, the pain will always stay with you, like a hole in your heart you don't know how to fill.
But I hope you find this board comforting. And if you just want someone to talk to you can always PM me. I am a great "internet shoulder" to cry on.
Dx: MFI- 3% morph
IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
6/14/10 BFP; 6/30/10 Dx ectopic
11/16/10 BFP #2; DD born 7/26/11
I'm sorry about your loss. We found out at our 20 week US that our DD had a severe neural tube defect that prevented her from living outside the womb. She was missing part of her skull and brain. We delivered our beautiful baby at 20w 2d. We held her and said goodbye.
We never thought we would have an unhealthy baby, let alone deliver early and leave the hospital forever without our DD. The pain is tremendous. I feel as though my new home is on this board and in support groups for now. It gives me comfort and helps me on a daily basis. Please lean on these ladies as I have. The pain doesn't go away, but we can all help each other make it hurt less.
Stay as strong and positive as you can. It is so easy to shut the world out and hide, but try to have enough strength to keep going. Your baby loves you and you will have a sister or brother for your baby soon.
Thoughts and prayers
I am so sorry for your loss. Our stories are very different, but I lost my little girl at 34 weeks. This board has been such a big help to me, I can't even really explain it. I don't know where I'd be today without some of these ladies! Like some of the other girls said, blogging was another thing that has really really helped me, as well as reading other blogs about late loss.
You and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers, and I'm so sorry you're going through this.
click the button above to read my blog!
Remembering Evelyn and raising Bailey
Evelyn Born at 24wks 6days on May 22, 2010 due to pre-e Passed away May 25, 2010
BFP# 2 Delivered 6wks early due to preeclampsia
BFP #2 08/30/10 - DD born 5/18/11 - my little NAIT baby
BFP #3 03/20/14 - chemical PG
BFP #4 04/17/14 DS due in December! Currently being treated for NAIT
I am so very sorry for your loss. My story is almost the same as yours except I had no bleeding leading up to my water breaking. I was on vacation and on our drive home my water broke. I walked through the door to my house (my husband wasn't with me) and went to the restroom where I started gushing blood. He rushed me to triage at 17 1/2 weeks and they kept me for 2 nights. They released me Friday morning to go home on bedrest hoping the membranes would re-seal and I wouldn't develop a fever. Saturday night I was back in Triage with contractions but they again sent me home because I didn't have a fever and I wasn't diallating. Then by Sunday night around 9pm the contractions were unbearable. I went back to the hospital and I was in active labor. I delivered my baby girl Sunday night/Monday morning at 12:30am. It is so heartbreaking to leave the hospital empty handed. I think that was when it really slapped me in the face that my baby was gone.
Like others have said I find comfort in talking about her. We had a graveside service for Addyston and I felt that gave me a small piece of closure. I still cry, I still get angry, I am still grieving...but I like having this board to come and talk to others who are going through a similar situation who can relate to what I may be feeling at the time. If you ever need to talk you are welcome to PM me.
BFP 1: 3/19/10 Loss: 7/9/10
BFP 2: 12/28/10
My Blog: Losing Sylvia