When did you start time-outs?

christie.h · July 2010

I know my LO is too young for time outs right now.

I'm just curious around what age you start the "next level" of discipline for very bad behavior when they know better.

punkfiction_v.3 · July 2010

3.5. and we only do "timeouts" for 10 seconds. its basically a "cool down/breathe" time.

eta: we did "freezes" before then (less than a TO). but right now we officially call it a "time out"

eesome · July 2010

Close to age 2, but I don't remember the exact month. The good news is: When he has a timeout, he never repeats himself. It is rare he has a timeout.

wellfleet04 · July 2010

She was over 3. We don't do time outs as a punishment, more of a chance for her to chill out/collect herself/be alone if she can't behave nicely (no hitting, screaming, whatever) with us. There is no time limit, and as soon as she's ready to move on, so am I.

christie.h · July 2010

wellfleet04:
She was over 3. We don't do time outs as a punishment, more of a chance for her to chill out/collect herself/be alone if she can't behave nicely (no hitting, screaming, whatever) with us. There is no time limit, and as soon as she's ready to move on, so am I.

What did you do from 1.5 to 3 for behavior like hitting, screaming and throwing? Just the standard "NO"?

The reason I ask is I have a friend with a 2 yr old who does time outs, and it doesn't seem to sink in with their LO, but they say that "NO" just doesn't work at all.

hewinked · July 2010

I tried it at 18 months and DD just sat in her chair, smiling away, lol. I tried again closer to 19 months. She doesn't know what "go to time out" means. I put her in her booster chair and buckle her in and walk away. She doesn't like being by herself in her chair with nothing to do. I don't know if it really works as discipline or of it distracts her to forget what she was even doing. Either way, it keeps her from immediately going back to whatever she was doing. I only use it as a last resort when nothing else is working.

punkfiction_v.3 · July 2010

ChristieAnne:
wellfleet04:
She was over 3. We don't do time outs as a punishment, more of a chance for her to chill out/collect herself/be alone if she can't behave nicely (no hitting, screaming, whatever) with us. There is no time limit, and as soon as she's ready to move on, so am I.
What did you do from 1.5 to 3 for behavior like hitting, screaming and throwing? Just the standard "NO"?
The reason I ask is I have a friend with a 2 yr old who does time outs, and it doesn't seem to sink in with their LO, but they say that "NO" just doesn't work at all.

this is what we do

https://parentingv3.blogspot.com/2010/06/ahhh-dreaded-discipline.html

wellfleet04 · July 2010

ChristieAnne:
wellfleet04:
She was over 3. We don't do time outs as a punishment, more of a chance for her to chill out/collect herself/be alone if she can't behave nicely (no hitting, screaming, whatever) with us. There is no time limit, and as soon as she's ready to move on, so am I.
What did you do from 1.5 to 3 for behavior like hitting, screaming and throwing? Just the standard "NO"?
The reason I ask is I have a friend with a 2 yr old who does time outs, and it doesn't seem to sink in with their LO, but they say that "NO" just doesn't work at all.

Kate was a really easy kid until she turned 3 (and now she's still awesome, but has a major attitude!). She didn't really hit, throw tantrums, etc. So I didn't have to do much beyond saying something like "I don't like when you hit me. It hurts. I will stop playing with you if you hit." and then walk away for a minute.

I don't get worked up about a tantrum over leaving the park, or whatever. I mean, I get it, she's upset. Not an appropriate reaction, but...eh. Go ahead and have your tantrum, we are still leaving. I would just say, "I'm sorry you're upset we have to leave." and then pick her up, screaming, and get on with getting in the car.

Ben is a tougher case. He's a biter when he's frustrated. So he gets a stern NO! and then if I'm holding him (which he loves) I put him down and walk away for a minute.

In general, I like the Love & Logic principles of just calmly saying "Uh oh, looks like you're throwing your sippy cup. I guess dinner is over." and then ending dinner and moving past the ensuing hysterics. Or whatever. Natural consequences.

Sometimes being by yourself is the natural consequence of a behavior, but I don't think "time outs" for time out sake really make sense or sink in to kids under 2.5ish. My kid always thought they were a joke and would put herself in timeout and laugh, so I had to find another approach

christie.h · July 2010

punkfiction_v.3:
ChristieAnne:
wellfleet04:
She was over 3. We don't do time outs as a punishment, more of a chance for her to chill out/collect herself/be alone if she can't behave nicely (no hitting, screaming, whatever) with us. There is no time limit, and as soon as she's ready to move on, so am I.
What did you do from 1.5 to 3 for behavior like hitting, screaming and throwing? Just the standard "NO"?
The reason I ask is I have a friend with a 2 yr old who does time outs, and it doesn't seem to sink in with their LO, but they say that "NO" just doesn't work at all.
this is what we do
https://parentingv3.blogspot.com/2010/06/ahhh-dreaded-discipline.html

Thanks for the link, and thanks wellfleet04 for your explanation as well. These sound much more like my kind of discipline.

DG1 · July 2010

We've just started within the last month, so around 21 months. We just needed a way to reinforce the "no" with something that was unpleasant for him.

He pushes baby brother down or kicks him? "NO! Sit here until you say you're sorry." and I pick him up and sit him against whatever wall is nearest. He cries his broken-hearted cry, and I ignore him for about 15 seconds, then go back and say "we don't push the baby. Tell baby you're sorry." and he does and we all move on.

Really, just saying "no" doesn't cut it. And if we say "no" and he continues whatever he's doing or has no real consequence for doing something bad, it just reinforces the idea that he doesn't have to listen to us.

We do what we can to prevent issues "it's almost bathtime!" "5 minutes until bathtime" "OK, it's bathtime!" And "timeouts" are really reserved for when he hits or kicks the baby and i can tell he intended it in a mean way. Mostly, he gets peeved when DS2 has a toy. Then we just talk about sharing, or distract, or whatever. I'm also really careful not to let the baby walk up to DS1 and take whatever he's playing with - hopefully DS1 will recognize that I'm being fair. (doubtful, but I've gotta try)

macchiatto · July 2010

So far we've mostly just done no, redirection and natural consequences like pp was talking about. Our pedi said around 18m is when some LOs can start to understand time out so we might be starting it, but I'm not sure it will work yet at this age. I'll at least try it though, since I know a number of moms who have said it was effective starting around this age.

Maddymom · July 2010

At DD's last appointment, 15 months, the pedi told us we could start now. Just sit with them in the spot where you want the time out to be for like 1 minute. He said they understand that they're not getting their way at this age and a 1 minute time out gets them used to it for now. DD has been in 3 total since then. She gets upset, but only for like 15 seconds out of the whole minute.

Want a personalized experience?

When did you start time-outs?

Re: When did you start time-outs?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards