- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
TTC After a Loss
Flame at will. (semi-long)
I can tell you before I even begin to write the rest of this, that I don't care the positive, or negative, comments I get from this.
What happened, happened. There's nothing that can be said to take it back, to make the ladies hurt forget about it, or to take the hurt away. Like I said before, and was even comment on by others... the only thing I could do was apologize. In no way did I expect that to make everything better, for anyone to forgive me, or the flaming stop. But I did feel it was necessary to let those particular ladies know that I was aware of what my comment created and caused, and that I truly regretted it. Being flamed for either I expected, and honestly at this point, don't expect for it to stop anytime soon. It was shiity, made me sound like an incredible douche, and caused even me to sit and cry over the potential friendships that I had ruined. But I've come to accept it. And would never, NEVER, ask those women to "forgive" me nor to "move on". In their position, I wouldnt so I don't expect them to.
What I did not appreciate was the flaming I took for things completely unrelated to what happened. Comments on my blog, or me in general, were completely harsh and unnecessary. If you don't like it, found it creepy, whatever, it's gone and deleted and needs to not be talked about it again. My husband could not download things where he is and that was what we, as a couple, decided to do. I could have made it into another blog, but honestly did not realize so many people would be looking at it. There are far worse things on the internet than what I posted. No one was required to follow the link, scan through the pages, and criticize what was there. I have not followed every blog here, and certainly did not think any of you did. I apologize to those it offended, and like above, that's all I can do about it now that it's deleted. Too late for further actions about it.
Yesterday I had no intention of coming back to this board. But I have made friends there, and even though the ones I hurt probably do not welcome my support, nor will offer any to me, there are those I have heard from and would like to still be here to converse with and stand by. If you refuse to see stuff for me, I believe Suntoto told Amberp1023 before "there's a block button for a reason".
Thank you to those that I've talked to outside of the board. I appreciate your kind words.
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Flame at will. (semi-long)
I seriously don't mean this in a snarky way, but this is not just about you and last night. You saw my responses to your thread before you DD'd it. I addressed everything with you in that post. We were squared away.
The things I mentioned tonight were not about the incident in question, but rather others response to that situation and how it made me feel like a shitty person for being upset, as well as things long before yesterday. There was so much more to what I was saying than the stuff last night.
I somehow missed all the drama that seemed to happen last night, so I can't comment. Other than to say, you've been giving tons of support on this board as long as I've been on (which I realize has only been maybe 2 months). I appreciate the support you've given and I want to continue to support you.
On a separate note, I LOVED your blog and it breaks my heart that you deleted it. People had no right to be degrading towards your blog. If people chose to look at it, didn't like it, they can stop looking. I think your blog was awesome. I loved your pictures. I think they are beautiful pieces of art. And I really hope in the future you change your mind about your blog because I was enjoying following it.
I e-heart you!
I never thought it was about last night. I was getting more PM's than I had ever gotten all geared, negatively and positively, to this incident. That is why this post was created.
Like you said. Things were squared away with you two... and then people continued degrading. I think others responded once things like her blog started getting flamed. I don't remember who exactly started flaming that, but i do believe that's why the comments on "let's just drop this" started.
Aurora Rose born sleeping at 35w on 4-21-10
BFP#2 {Almond} - 2.1.11 EDD 10.12.11 C/P 2.11.11
SWIne789 I hope you stay, everyone of us had said or done something we shouldn't have but life goes on, we apologize, and we move forward. I think that was a really sh!tty thing if people are leaving snarky comments on your blog if that is true, there is no reason for going that far. Say what you have to say here or in PM's, leave peoples personal shiz alone, thats like posting sh!t in their FB, other people can see the blog comments too.
Like I say, I hope you stay, you have been nothing but sweet to me and I don't know if you've tested again or not but I am interested in the results.
((hugs))
bfp 01/23/10 m/c 12w1d 03/14/10 EDD 09/24/10
bfp 07/20/10 m/c 5w1d 07/25/10
bfp 11/19/10 Born 07/24/11 via C/S
My Forever Sister From Another Mister~CashewsMommy!!
I just wanted to let you know that I'm glad you're staying. I agree that the blog bashing wasn't cool as it wasn't related to the original post but people are entitled to their opinions and since it's a public board things like that will happen. Perhaps making it invite only would be a better way to post it since other girls loved it.
I personally think that it's a great way for you and your husband to stay in touch and for you to share your thoughts and for the record...Rex is adorable.
I have no idea what's going on here, but I have to say your blog is beautiful - you are an amazing photographer, and post very classy, sexy photos. I've been envious, actually. You need to keep that up, please don't delete it.
Good luck!!
BFP #2 EDD September 30, 2012 ~ natural m/c 5w4d
broken hearted, changed forever
I never thought of that! Thank you!
Swine,
I think the vent was about people babying you, I get that you said you were sorry. Good for you. You said something stupid and you admitted it. Fine. I'm sorry if you people made personal attacks on you about blog, that was uncalled for. She maybe felt like she was defending her friend. You had to realize that putting your blog in your siggy on a public forum, you were opening yourelf up to peoples opinions about it.
I think the fact that you didn't realize after Amberp's 10 evap line post, that she got flamed for, that maybe it wasn't a good idea for you to do the same thing makes me
. I know you haven't been here long, but long enough to get how things work.
Yes I somewhat agree with this but when you are ttcal and get a BFP (or a poss. one) I think you get so excited and scared that reasoning tends to go out the window, I know for me it did.
bfp 01/23/10 m/c 12w1d 03/14/10 EDD 09/24/10
bfp 07/20/10 m/c 5w1d 07/25/10
bfp 11/19/10 Born 07/24/11 via C/S
My Forever Sister From Another Mister~CashewsMommy!!
Swine-
I am glad your staying. I loved your blog. I read the whole thing this morning. As for the bashing, let it roll off your back. There are always going to be that one person who can never move past one thing and will always view "you" for that one thing. Everyone makes mistakes, and says stupid or hurtful things. I have been there, and I have done it. You said you were sorry, you mended the fences. And if certian people can not move on from that than thats their problem.
I get what your saying. The only reason I posted about mine, was because the nurse told my my beta was to low. I thought another m/c was in my very near future. It was the first time since being on this board that I have asked for support. I got a lot of support. This board is supportive, but just like in real life you have to take into consideration how what you say may affect other people.
If you lurk a little at first before jumping into creating post about everything going on in your life. You learn a few things that will keep you from getting flamed.
ETA: In respons to rock-elle post
Ok, I have to say this, b/c it boggles my mind. There is a generation of people who think it is ok to post inappropriate things on public open space where ANYONE can get it and read it. IF you are going to publish inappropriate things on the interwebs, do it in a place where STRANGERS can't get it- like FB when the privacy settings are at their strongest point, or a blog that is invite only. Honestly, people DO get fired for posting stuff on public open space and people do not get jobs when employers find such things on public open space. I have plenty of people in HR and they google, FB search and myspace search people before hiring and if they find something inappropriate, that person will NOT get the job.
I agree with all of this. You and amberP are "buddies", it says so in your siggy. One would have thought that you would have learned from her behavior.
Change your privacy settings on your blog. That way the world does not have access to your private nudey pics.
Morning, ladies.
I'm late jumping on this bandwagon, but here it is.
The original comments made by Swine re: deployed husbands was NOT cool. You girls who tried to 'comfort' swine probably didn't see why we were laying into her. She had two ladies in tears with her crappy comments. Ashley and BeachCole both have husbands over there.
I don't know about you guys, but if someone says something careless enough to make my friends cry, then you know what? I am going to come at them with both barrels blazing, so to speak. You know, chances are good if someone did the same thing to 95% of you posters on here, I would have your back as well.
I defended them. It was me who brought up the blog comment. Do I regret it? No. Not even slightly. I think it's a nice thing she's doing for her husband, a way for them to have some intimacy in a terrible situation, but I also think it's silly to LINK it in a public place. Especially if you can't take the heat that such content will bring.
I know that I was one of the people that tried to "comfort" Samantha, and I just want to throw this out there... Carrie, I respect you and I understand what you are saying about sticking up for your friends. But keep in mind, that is maybe what other people are trying to do also. While you have been here longer and have made friends with some of the other girls that have also been here longer, I have made friends with Sam, and some of the other newbies.
I apologized to BeachCole, because I wasn't trying to stand up for what SWine wrote re: deployment... Sam is a big girl, and I think that she knew that she deserved to get negative responses from that. I was trying to stand up for Sam re: the personal attacks on her blog. And, again, I respect your opinion re: her blog. I know that those type of pics aren't for everyone. But, I do think that making personal attacks on people isn't necessary, and I will stand up for her when that happens.
I am not writing this to cause more drama, but to (hopefully) clarify and give another point of view. I respect everyone on the board, and I know that we will not always agree or get along. But, I think that disagreeing with someone is one thing, while personal attacks cross the line.
BFP 10/05/09 - natural m/c 10/22/09... BFP 07/18/2010 - My BFP Chart - Due March 29, 2011
My Pregnancy Blog
"You are the best thing, that's ever been mine." - Taylor Swift, "Mine"
Labor Buddy to leneae10 and kilissa
Not at all, Abby. I understand that you guys were defending her. But.. here's my issue with this.
SHE said the comments. She also apologized in a pretty apathetic way. The way I read the apology was "oopsie. I made a bad, tra la la, on we go with life". It seemed very.... i'm not sure what word I'm looking for here... blase, perhaps.
When people rushed to her side to send her eleventy billion PM's - it's quite obvious that people are a) talking about the things that we said and b) they're passive aggressive, and can't say these things directly TO the person.
If someone had made a sh!tty comment about Swine's DH being in Iraq, and it upset her as much as BeachCole was upset, I would have defended swine as well.
re: the constant BFP updates. Look - it's not necessary for hourly updates. Your piss is not going to change THAT much in a short period of time. Test the next day, update the next day. That part is just common sense.
I agree with you on some of what you say... I get the whole deal with the BFPs. I do. It hurts to see drive-by's and it hurts to see multiple posts.
I think that where I disagree with you is on the apology. I thought that she seemed very sincere, like she DID feel really bad, and I just didn't like the personal comments. But, again, like I said before, I respect your opinion, and I think that we'll just have to agree to disagree on that.
I also noticed all of the PM's that she was getting, most probably in support of her. And, I don't know what to say regarding that... I would throw this out there. While I don't consider myself "puppies and rainbow's", and I will get flame on a drive-by poster, I don't like drama. I feel like it is generally useless b/c people aren't going to change their minds, you know what I mean? Maybe there are more people on the boards that are like this?? Rather than saying exactly what they are thinking with a possibility of getting flamed, they just choose to PM someone.
Again, Carrie, I respect you and what you have gone through. I respect all of the girls on this board. That is why I appreciate your response and I'm glad this doesn't have to be a "war". I can tell that you have a ton of friends on here, and I hope to be that lucky!
BFP 10/05/09 - natural m/c 10/22/09... BFP 07/18/2010 - My BFP Chart - Due March 29, 2011
My Pregnancy Blog
"You are the best thing, that's ever been mine." - Taylor Swift, "Mine"
Labor Buddy to leneae10 and kilissa
Abby - I don't think I'm unreasonable
I can agree to disagree on some things. It is what it is. I've made my stance known on things, so that's all I have to say. I know when to stop beating a dead horse.
I have respect for ALL of the ladies here. We've all been through the unimaginable.
I said it before in another post I made - I really would like to get to "know" some of these people. I really would. But at the time being, I don't know how that will work out.
She is kind of new from what I gather, but this is very true.
Carrie, for the purpose of knowledge no one ran and PM'd me to console me after I was flamed for my comment. I'm pretty sure everyone was aware of that I deserved it, and you're right I did. Your opinions of my blog were purely that. Opinions. And while now I understand why i DONT need that public (and have deleted it and since brought it back and upped the privacy) I think people were "consoling" me only after you and suntoto laid into me on my blog because many thought it was out of line.
I never wanted anyone to console me, and while I appreciate everyone's kind words to me regarding the blog incident (Nothing else!), I'm a big girl and can handle it. I don't need or want others fighting my battles for me.
This is getting annoying and while i don't expect people to be "okay" with the situation as it stands this is the THIRD day that this has gone on and I think everyone involved directly has said all that can be, and opinions of people and the situations have been made and will be stood by. By saying we need to move on, I don't mean that we need to forget about it and be all happy go fvcking lucky and painting each others nails. I am suggesting everyone act like adults and be able to drop a dead subject because obviously those that were hurt are able to talk about other things. (even if they hate me from this point forward. it doesnt matter.)
*mondo thumbs up*
Lordy. I'm going to say this, and then that is all I will say on this subject.
I don't hate you. You'd have to pull some wild, massively inappropriate stuff for me to hate you.
Lesson learned with the blog. I just didn't get linking it in a public forum when it was obviously meant to be private, hence why I mentioned it. I get that you did it for your husband, and I applaud that you're doing something to remain close. But keep that between you and your husband, not between you, your husband and everyone on the boards. But, as I said.. lesson learned.
And, sunshine, yes, this is the third day, but this is also the third day of you making posts about this. So....... yeah. Maybe take a pinch of your own advice.
I wish you the best