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March 2011 Moms
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To tell or not to tell

myst33myst33
in March 2011 Moms

I am meeting up with my 2 closest friends tomorrow for brunch.  We live over an hour away and we all have busy lives so I don't see them that often.  Last time, I told them about my pg and later my m/c and they were very supportive.  After my m/c,  I found out that friend A (my best friend) had a m/c herself about a year before.  It was unplanned (she's not married and they weren't trying, but she is in a relationship) but of course it was still devastating.  She didn't tell anyone but her family about it and I was the only friend she told. She's the type of person who has always wanted children.  We are all 35, also, so I know she is worried about "the ticking clock" as well.  Our other friend (friend B) has a baby after years of if treatments.  I know Friend A will be happy for me, but I am afraid of the news making her sad about her own situation.  I really want both of them to know, but I don't want to spring it on her unprepared.  I know the 1st time I told her I was pg, I thought she had a funny reaction, even though I told her over the phone.  At the time I didn't know about her m/c.  

Wwyd?

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Re: To tell or not to tell

  • LifetimeOfLoveLifetimeOfLove member

    This is a tough one. I can see why you are questioning this. I think I'd tell your friends but I'd wait until the end of brunch. That way if friend A does have a hard time with it, it won't ruin her "outing" with the girls. 

    I went through IF problems and it was hard for me to hear about friends getting pregnant. I was ALWAYS happy for them but it still hurts, ya know? I felt better when I found out shortly before I was going home so I could deal with it on my own and not in front of people.

    They are both eventually going to find out and since you don't get to see eachother that often, this would be a nice time to be able to tell them in person. I bet both of your friends will be happy for you!

    Let us know what you decide to do!

    June 2010 - IVM
    July 2, 2010- BFP Beta July 5th - 931 Repeat beta July 7th - 2,779
    July 13, 2010- First ultrasound! Gestational sac found!
    July 16, 2010 - 2nd u/s due to bleeding. Twins found! Baby A is great! Praying for Baby B!
    July 23, 2010 - 3rd u/s. Saw Baby A's flicker of a heartbeat! Lost Baby B. :-(
    March 16, 2011 - Nathan James was born
    November 26, 2012 - surprise BFP! It's a girl!
    July 26, 2013 - Lilianna Jean was born

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  • MicahAnnMicahAnn
    This is hard. I didn't really want to hear about people who were pregnant after I loss my baby but at the same time, none of those people were my closest friend. If my sister-in-law would have came out and said she was pregnant, I would have been so happy for her. I agree with the PP that you should tell them b/c like she said, they will find out sooner or later and it would be best for them to hear from you personally probably. Since they were so supportive before, it would be nice for them to know this time around too (thats how I decided who to tell this time). I think the idea of doing it at the end of the brunch is good, just like pp said. I almost didn't post since I agree with what she said but I thought for me, hearing it more than once always make me feel better. Good luck with your brunch!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker "i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart) i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling) i fear" -E.E. Cummings (In Memory of Baby Beluga 3-21-10)
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  • myst33myst33
    Thank you both.  I think that sounds like a great idea and plan to tell them at the end.
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