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TTC after 35
sassy1
member
39 years old & have been trying for 10 mo's
sassy1
member
in TTC after 35
Hi all. I'm at the point of total frustration...every time AF arrives (like yesterday) my dh & I feel so discouraged. We got married a year ago, got off BCP immediately afterward, & started trying 2 months later. At that time we were already 38 (me) & 33 (him) & didn't want to waste any time! My gyn did an US (hysterosonogram) & told me everything looked fine. He discouraged getting opk's--said it gets people too worked up. So nothing happened, & after about 6 months I bought an opk. I'm still confused about that one--it showed the positive double lines EVERY day for a week. So I'm assuming it was faulty & in any case, no bfp. Anyway, I've been under stress (my dad passed away in April) & I guess I just let it go rather than to find an RE at 6 mo's. My dh went in to a place to get himself checked out last week (results pending) but I feel like it's probably me--probably my age.
I finally emailed a fertility clinic today (if you want to make an appointment after hours you can email the request). I'm wondering what to expect. Is there an exam right away, or a consultation? How has your journey proceeded from that first RE appointment? From what I've read, most dr's seem to try clomid first & then IUI, & then IVF.
Any info would be appreciated.
Sassy1
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 39 years old & have been trying for 10 mo's
We have been trying for what will be a year next month. I turned 40 in May. What has helped my (but took about 6-8 months of frustration and despair) is that I now go into each "cycle" fully expecting AF. I have had AF religiously and regularly every 25-28 days for the last 28 years. I know this is not what I want (nor does my husband) but it helps me to not be completely deflated each month. What I HATE is when I have to announce to DH "Your not a daddy this month." That hurts more than the arrival of AF.
I tried OPKs and we met with RE. We decided that was not the path we wanted to go, so I cannot offer any help in that arena.
Don't despair. You will find wonderful women here with a wealth of knowledge and support. Best of luck to you.
Agree with the PPs, my firsy visit was a meet and greet and the RE laid out a plan on which tests to start with, etc. Also, don't be surprised if the RE makes you repeat some of the lab work at their office. It seems to be pretty common that they want the results from their lab.
I would recommend picking up a copy of Taking Charge of your Fertility by Toni Weschler, it's a great resource and may help you decide how you want to proceed. Also, charting and opks are a great way to narrow down your window of opportunity each month. Good luck!
While you're waiting for your RE appt I'd suggest charting on Fertility Friend like others have suggested and using either a digital OPK or a CBEFM. Either one of those will take the confusion out of the ovulation process for you.
An ob/gyn can prescribe clomid for you, but it's really only been known to work for women who don't ovulate, it helps to get them to ovulate to potentially become pg. if you're sure you ovulate every month (like i knew i did) then it really won't do you any good.
When I went to my first RE appt. they had me fill out a ton of paperwork and to my shock they jumped right in and took a huge amount of blood samples for testing and did a vaginal ultrasound to get an idea of what was going on in there. They'll also ask your DH to get a sperm analysis, even if he's already had one done someplace else. (my DH had to have another done)
Theyll also check with your insurance to see what type of fertility coverage you have. Once they get the test results back and based on your ins. coverage, they'll recommend a course of action. Usually it's a few IUIs and then move to IVF. There's are a lot of appointments during both processes to check your hormone levels via blood tests and do ultrasounds, so be prepared for it to take a bunch of your time, but it's well worth it to have a little one. good luck.
(oh, and don't assume you are the one with the prob because of your age. I always thought i was the prob and my RE never found anything wrong with me. The only thing they came up with was low motility and low morphology for DH, and I'm not even convinced of that because we conceived DD #2 naturally. DD #1 was conceived via IVF with ICSI)
Welcome - I hope your stay on this board is short. I am so sorry that you have to deal with the lost of a parent and TTC at the same time.
As far as TTC, I would definitely get an digital OPK. It is also good that you took things in your own hands and contacted the RE. At our age, timing is everything!! As far as what to expect with the RE, he will do blood work and should request a semen analysis on your DH. From there, your RE will work with you to develop the right plan for you.
Much luck to you!!
Moving forward with Adoption 2017!
Welcome! I hope you do not need to be on here for long. OPKs are tricky because they are only positive if the second line is as dark or darker than the first one. I always get two lines, but the second one is lighter until I get my surge.
Digitals are more expensive, but much easier to read (smiley face or no smiley face). I agree with all the PPs that going to an RE might be a great next step.
Good luck!
Welcome & good luck. Lots of great advice from the PP's