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Did I do the right thing?

alliejoealliejoe member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

My SIL is visiting from Alaska and she's staying at the ILs (about 2.5 hours away) with her two kids. DH left today to go viist for the weekend and I decided today that I wasn't going to go.  SIL is pregnant with her 3rd (suprise baby) due in December and I just wasn't up to spending the weekend with a pregnant lady.

I feel a little selfish for not going... 

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Re: Did I do the right thing?

  • luckymrs.luckymrs.

    You need to do what's necessary to take care of YOU!  Don't worry about SIL now--really.  She'll be fine, and she better understand/sympathize with your situation.

     (((Hugs)))

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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    ((hugs)) You aren't being selfish.  I wouldn't be able to go either.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

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  • tigers413tigers413
    In no way you were selfish. I dont think I would have been able to go. Besides I think she would have understood.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Premature Baby tickers
    BFP #1 - 04/09/10 -- m/c - 07/02/10 @ 20weeks and 3 days. D&C 07/02/2010 - EDD 11/16/10
    BFP #2 12/17/10 please stick turtle. EDD 8/29/11 - Emergency C-Section 7-2-11. Andrew's journey
    Congratulations to my TTCAL buddy Carolee on her BFP! Stick, baby!
    Congratulations to elbandas09, cherylanddoug, tctibbe(MsPegees) and alliejoe for their take home babies!
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  • bethskyebethskye
    She'll understand.  You did what you needed to do.  Don't worry.  Eventually you'll be up for a visit.  Now isn't that time.
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  • Runnergirl2242Runnergirl2242 member
    We women are always feeling selfish when we take care of ourselves. No, it was far from selfish I respect you for taking the time that you need. It is really hard and I am sure that they understand. I missed my neices birthday party and my family had to understand. Honestly, I knew I was going to be miserable so I did not go. I think that you should be kind to yourself and try not to feel guilty for taking care of your heart.
    DS Born 10/05/99 DSS Born 7/11/95 BFP 05/11/10 - Missed M/C, D&C 06/23/10 BFP 8/3/2010 - Ectopic, Methotrexate 8/17/10 BFP 1/27/11- Please God let this heart beat strong. Beta1 17dpo-314 Beta2 20dpo-883 Beta3 22dpo-1861 Beta4 25dpo-5918 DS2 Born 10/07/99 "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the LORD. For his whole life he shall be given over to the LORD." 1Sam1v24to28.
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  • alliejoealliejoe member
    Thank you ladies- it helps a lot to know that what I did is understandable and ok. 
    imageLilypie Second Birthday tickers image
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  • MJM3108MJM3108 member
    imageluckymrs.:

    You need to do what's necessary to take care of YOU!  Don't worry about SIL now--really.  She'll be fine, and she better understand/sympathize with your situation.

     (((Hugs)))

    This. Taking care of yourself is never selfish. She will understand... Stay strong!

    PAL JULY SIGGY CHALLENGE: CAKE WRECKS
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    You Made me a mommy... 

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     Lilypie - (KAFM)

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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    I think you made the right move. You protected your feelings and hers. How would she have felt if you went and were obviously upset? Probably not great.
    m/c 7/17/10
    Dx: MFI- 3% morph
    IUIs: Gonal-F + Ovidrel + b2b IUI= BFNs
    IVF with ICSI= BFP! EDD 11/25/11
    3/18- Beta #1 452! 3/20- Beta #2 1,026!! 3/27- First u/s- TWINS!
    Our twin boys arrived at 36w5d due to IUGR and a growth discordance

    FET: Medicated FET moved up to 5/23 due to ovulation
    Transferred a 6BB hatched blastocyst- genetically normal female embryo
    BFP! 5/28- 5dp6dt      
    6/1 Beta #1- 223! 6/3 Beta #2- 567!

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     Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
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  • tomsgirl23tomsgirl23 member
    You need to concentrate on taking care of yourself physically and emotionally right now.  I have excused myself from quite a few social events lately because I'm just not ready.  I don't really feel selfish, just that I need to protect myself right now.
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