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Stay at Home Moms
Borst-Plotz
member
A new SAHM mom with a million questions...(seriously)
Borst-Plotz
member
I was going to write a couple posts but figured I just write it on in one! I'm a new SAHM with a million questions...
First-I'm having a hard time balancing my day between housework, play time, running errands and doing stuff I want to get done (finding coupons/deal to save money, sewing stuff for my etsy shop to make some extra $$, getting our home organized). Does anyone have any good ideas to help me with this? I also feel like I need to be playing with my daughter all the time to keep her entertained, but I also know she needs to learn that mommy needs to get stuff done so she should be able to hang out on her playmat or with her toys....how many hours a day do you spend actually playing? If I do dishes or am cleaning she is in her bouncy seat next to me and I'm talking to her, etc. Is that too much? (I have serious anxiety about being a bad mom! I have no idea why but I guess I need some advice on balancing it all)
Before I decided to SAH alot of the daycares we looked did alot of learning activities with the kids, even at just a few months. Are there things I can do with my DD to help her learn and develop? Even at 2 months? Any good books I can read that tell me monthly things I can do with her to help her learn and grow?
I think that's all...I guess not a million questions but two big ones! Any other advice would be awesome :-) Right now I kind of feel lucky if I shower and get myself dressed for the day!
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Re: A new SAHM mom with a million questions...(seriously)
I'd say at 2 months, no there's nothing you really need to be doing. Babies love faces at that age, so my only suggestion is to get a book with baby faces in it and read it to her so she can look at the pictures. I think the best thing you can do for your daughter is just being there. It seems like you're doing a great job. Talking to her a lot is also beneficial. When DS was that age, I would walk him around the house, show him things, talk to him about what certain things were, show him pictures, etc.
I found some good ideas in what to expect the first year as to things you can do to promote development.
In terms of spending time with LO, you're right that it's important you help her develop some indepedence. I think it sounds like you're on the right track by putting her in her bouncy seat and talking to her while cleaning. The first few months are tough, but once you get to the 3-4 month mark, you'll find that you get into a good routine and it all becomes easier.
At your daughter's age, there's really nothing that you can be doing in terms of activities, etc. They're basically sleeping most of the time. You can try to "wear" her in a carrier to get stuff done if you need to.
As for making her independent, that really doesn't have a lot to do with you putting her down all the time. There are many kids that are held all day long and become very independent. You really can't spoil a newborn that way. It's a personality thing. All 3 of my kids are pretty independent, and they were all held/not held for various periods of time during the newborn stage.
This is the MOST time you will have to get stuff done since your DD is sleeping/napping a LOT. As she gets older, you will discover that you will have less time to get everything done. Put a system in place to get organized. This way, you won't feel overwhelmed when you need to get everything done in one day. Divide and conquer.
GL!
Remember, you're also still dealing with hormonal and physical recovery from childbirth- yes, still at 2 mos PP. It's ok if not everything gets done. Take a big breath, find one or two chores you want to do per day and do those as time allows. Just wait until she's crawling! Then it'll really get hectic!
You are right on the money with talking to her and letting her have some "alone" time in the bouncy seat. That's all she needs for now. Try to keep your house as clean as you can at this point cause in about 6 mos, you'll spend all day chasing her as she crawls....
No idea about the balance. I don't have that much going on
You don't need to be playing with your DD all the time. It's good for them to learn to play independently once in a while. Now that my DD is old enough to be in a high chair, I'll put her in there when I'm making lunch or dinner with a couple of toys and let her have at it. She also has a smaller chair and a blanket with toys on it in the LR. Sometimes I'll go online while she's entertaining herself. As long as she's content, I'm not going to "ruin" it by interrupting her!
I love my Your Babies First Year Week by Week book. At the end of each week's entry, they have suggestions on toys and play for that age. At 2 months, you and your face are your DD's favorite toys. Just letting her watch you is something she loves.
If you're just getting showered and dressed, that's an accomplishment in and of itself. You'll settle into a routine at some point and it will be easier to plan your day.
hey fellow sahms
one way to relieve some stress is to designate certain days for certain tasks instead of trying to do EVERYTHING every single day.
here is my basic schedule (cleaning) everthing else kinda falls into place...
everyday-
pick up basic messes-
Monday-
grocery shop in one big batch! plan out meals on sunday, simple easy meals, and shop for the entire week on monday. in the start you'll have to make trips to the store for oops i forgot things. but you'll become a pro.
Tuesday-
etc.... this really helped me! the key is to pick during the day, your house will be cleaner and you'll feel relieved!
Well, in my experience I got nothing done during the day until my DD was about...hrm...8 months old. (I held her for all naps until then, and co-slept from 7pm-midnight-- then got up with her 2-4x per night). I was tired during the days, and found that between errands (shopping/appointments/etc) it was all I could do to keep up with the basics: laundry, dishes. Everything else waited until the weekend when DH and I could tackle things together--it was hard! But in hindsight, I am sooo glad I spent the extra time holding my DD. The house survived, and so did we! LOL.
She is 15 months old now and my house is organized and clean because she plays very independently now. There are days that everything 'blows up' (big messes, lots going on, visitor, etc) but those days are becoming few and far between. I found it got MUCH easier for us once my DD started walking and could do more things on her own.
There is no right or wrong way to go about it. But with a 2 month old--just try to keep open communication with your DH (and family/friends) and try to get the help/breaks you need in order to be at your best. It will get better!
One thing i do that I highly recommend is to go to a parent group.
I go once a week, and we discuss relevant topics, learn songs/nursery rhymes. Do activities like take footprints etc etc.
It gets me out the house. I've made friendships with other new Mums. I have a whole crowd of people I can ask for ideas and advice.
I learn activities that I can do at home with LO.
So all in all, it's a relaly good thing to do because on your list of "things to do" I didn't see anything that was about "you" and your need for social interaction, physical health etc etc.
Good luck, and like pp said, some days it won't all get done and that's ok.
Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old