TTC After a Loss 6 Months+

I'm still mad

After our first loss, my DH's parents came over one night just to talk and give us hugs and a bouquet of flowers.  After the second, not a word.  I don't need a red carpet and flowers, but am surprised they have not said anything to me at all.  The same is true for one of DH's sisters.

I feel like they look at me with pity or like I'm too old and busted to have kids.  They may not really feel that way, but them saying nothing tells me, at a minimum, they're not being supportive.  And they are family, so I think we're stuck with them.

I know we all have people who've not been supportive or said stupid things to us in regards to our losses.  Do you think you'll ever get past it? 

 

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Missed m/c 11.09 | Missed m/c 3.10 | We miss you & love you so.
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Formerly toddandjulie

Re: I'm still mad

  • I'm sorry.  With some people I can get past it because I know they don't get it.  It's the ones that should know better that piss me off.  ((hugs))

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  • When I went to my parents house before my D&C to tell them in person I lost the baby, they thought it was more important to go out to dinner and shopping than to come to the hospital and wait with my DH. Yeah that hurt and I'm still not over it. 

    I'm sorry your IL's aren't supportive, they're family and you'd think they'd be there for you. ((HUGS)) 

  • i find the only people who get it are those that went through a similar experience otherwise they just don't get it.  even my mom who had 2 m/c's didn't seem to concerned that i went through a D&C or that i even had a m/c.  lets just say it was forgotten about very easily.  :o
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 8.15.07 NATHAN 6.13.09 - 6.14.09 WYATT born 32w3d Gone too soon, RIP. 4.21.10 BFP - missed m/c - D&C on 5.27.10. 1.31.11 BFP - 1st cycle IUI + Follistim + Trigger (2 mature follies)Beta 1 @ 13dpiui: 199 Beta 2 @ 15dpiui: 527 10.7.11 ELIANA(Ellie)ROSE (39w3d)Team Green turned Team Pink - VBAC & ALL NATURAL 6lbs 11oz 19 &1/2in
  • I'm sorry.  People who say stupid stuff but you know they mean well, that I can get past.  Intentions are very important to me.  MIL has said and done some horrible things and continues to do so.  I'm not getting over that and am no longer putting forth much effort with her. 
    imageimage
    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
    April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
  • imagerjl07:

    I'm sorry.  With some people I can get past it because I know they don't get it.  It's the ones that should know better that piss me off.  ((hugs))

    This exactly.

    I'm sorry, Julie ((hugs)) 

  • I'm sorry hon. I think for me it would depend on who said or did something.
    TTC Since Oct 08 BFP #1- 1/23/09, missed m/c 2/26/09 BFP #2- 9/8/09, natural m/c 9/16/09 BFP #3- 4/13/10, missed m/c 5/26/10 BFP #4- 4/6/11 beta#1 at 12dpo-133 prog-55.7, beta#2 at 16dpo- 861 DD born 12/8/2011 BFP#5- 11/23/12 EDD 7/25/13 Dx- Uterine septum (removed Aug 2010), endo, MTHFR C677t hetero, Factor II hetero, Low Protein S Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • vflipovflipo member
    ((hugs)) I'm sorry! I am still not over my dad's lack of acknowledgment of our first loss. I hope to get over it someday. I decided we're not telling him about this pregnancy until I'm in the hospital after giving birth. That's how angry it makes me.
    I married a ginger.
    m/c 12/25/09 (5w5d) mm/c D&C 4/9/10 (11w1d) Take home baby 2/22/11
    My boobies belong to cour10e
  • ((hugs)) I am still annoyed at some friends who never mentioned our loss, they act like I was never pregnant. I don't think they are doing it to be hurtful I think they just don't know what to say. But certain people who say stupid things I just can't get past.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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