It's not even going that badly.  I WANT to like it!  I KNOW it is what is best for LO and on top of that I feel guilty about the amount of $ invested in a pump, nursing bra, etc.  I feel so anxious about schedules because I never know when LO is going to want to eat and I'm not comfortable BF in front of others (except my mom and DH).  I hate waking up feeling engorged and selfishly want my body back to myself after a difficult pregnancy.  I feel like I would enjoy this time more if I didn't have all those anxieties, but I am so torn.  Advice?
                
                             
        
Re: 2 1/2 Weeks and I'm Pretty Sure I hate BF... :(
My advice is to give it more time. I hated it for the first month or so and really wanted to give up. My son had trouble latching and each feeding took at least an hour with 30-45 minutes of it being him screaming before he finally latched on. It gets much easier and you will eventually figure out the timing so you can go out and do stuff. I still feed him right before we leave the house to try to avoid feeding him when I'm out and I'm not really comfortable feeding him in public, but I just feed him in the car between stores or in a dressing room at the mall or whatever. We just started daycare last week so we have to deal with more bottles now and I really hate doing that. It makes me so glad I stuck with breastfeeding just so I don't have as many bottles to prepare & wash. You have to do what's right for you, but I would at least give it a few more weeks before making a decision.
IVF #1 - BFP (6dt)
Unassisted Pregnancy #2 - lost at 15w6d due to T21, severe heart defects, and fetal hydrops
It's one of those personal decisions that you can get a boatload of advice about, but essentially it has to be something that you decide.
It does take a while to get the hang of things, especially knowing when LO wants to eat (with my LO it was sometimes 3 hours, sometimes 1 1/2). Things do regulate after a while and you won't feel so engorged, but I understand what you mean about wanting your body back. I don't feel like mine is my own anymore.
If you are not comfortable nursing in front of people, that's when you can take milk that you have expressed through pumping, or you can use a nursing cover. It does take a while to get used to everything though - if you can try to stick it out a few more weeks, and you might find you are getting the hang of things a little more.
Good luck!
ditto
Give it time, make short term goals (as pp said) commit to a week, then a month, then say you want to make it to 4 months, or 6 months. Maybe you could EP instead of nursing? I am SO EP-ing next time..but I'm in nearly 11 months, had a horrible time with my supply, but have never supplemented. You can do it, momma!
I had the same exact feelings at that time, I really struggled with being stuck at home. BF gets easier and once I accepted that my schedule was no longer my own (even if I wasn't BF!) it got much easier. Plus when they get older you'll be more comfortable going out with baby. Try to get outside with or without baby for a walk or air during the day for even 15 mins. If DH or family can watch the baby so you can take 20 mins to walk or do something on your own, it's a big help!
you're doing great Mom!
vegan mama, military wife