North Dakota Babies

Now I can vent.

For those of you that don't know.  My in laws arrived on Tuesday.  How it began was that my MIL called an hour before her arrival time to make sure we were still picking her up.  DH asked if the train was running late and she said no.  Well we get to the train station and the train is running 40 minutes late.  She had to know that because we saw DH's step brother with his family get off the train and he said that he knew that his train was an hour behind and that he had already called his business partner.  DH called his mom to ask her why she didn't tell us since we had the baby and we had to pick up Mya at her bus stop from camp and she said that she wasn't paying attention.  (Keep in mind we saw DH's step brother for about 1 minute and they live in CA.)

At about 4pm, I start discussing what everyone wants for supper so I can get it started.  MIL informs me that the stepbrother and his family want to go out to dinner (they were supposed to be here for the week, but we were also informed during this time that they were only in Providence for one night and they were going to Boston for the rest of the week).  FIL said that they would call when they were done with their meeting.  Well 5pm comes around, Mya is starving and no phone call.  Plus I need to get stuff done.  I have FIL call them to see what the plan is and I suggested going to the Cheesecake Factory, Dave and Busters, and all of the nice restaurants at the mall since we needed to drive 2 cars in and they have the parking garage.  They finally call back at 6pm saying that those restaurants basically weren't good enough and they started naming all of these restaurants that need reservations, you must get dressed up, and they don't allow children.  I lost it on them and they didn't understand why.  I told them about these restaurants ahead of time and why we couldn't go there that night and they didn't care.  They expected me to sit on the outside deck at one of the restaurants at 7:30pm at night.  All they cared about was theirselves.  Needless to say, I didn't go and Mya got food from Olive Garden to eat.

DH didn't understand why I was so upset with them and it was only the first day, but he soon figured out why.  Yesterday, I was expected to be their maid.  FIL wanted a cup of coffee.  I showed him how to use the Keurig and he then said to me, "Well aren't you going to make it?"  I told him I showed him so if he wanted another one he would know how to do it since I have things to do.  Anything they wanted, either myself or DH was expected to get it for them.  Including serving them lunch and supper, putting it in their plate, cleaning up everything including their plates, cups, etc. from the table. They didn't even offer to help. 

I had to basically force them to hold Ava so I could get something done and if they thought that she went to the bathroom they would yell for me to change her diaper.  There are no motherly instincts to go and do it theirselves or to do anything with her besides hold her and put her to sleep.  I have been working with DH (that has no previous baby experience) on how to change diapers, feed her and play with her and I thought that his mom could encourage this but she was just as clueless.

Yesterday, we discussed at lunch time what we would be cooking for dinner the next three nights.  I waited until 2pm for the MIL to take a shower and get dressed.  Finally, I couldn't wait anymore and told Josh that I needed to go to the grocery store to get the stuff.  I guess she told Josh how rude I was for not waiting.  I am sorry, I designed baptism invites in the morning, got them in the mail, made lunch, washed 3 loads of laundry and cleaned up bottles, lunch, and breakfast and she had more than enough time to get ready.

Last night they inform DH that they need one of our cars to drive to Boston for 2 days.  DH asked why they were going there and they said that they were going to meet the stepbrother and his family.  Josh is just crushed because he only sees his mom once a year and he thought that the whole reason for her to visit was for her to see the kids.  So, right now Josh is driving them to the T station for them to take the T to Boston and they will be back Friday night.  He was supposed to leave at 8:30am and when I got home from dropping off Mya at camp he was still home.  They weren't ready until 9am.  He then told them that if they miss the T then they can sit there and wait for the next one.  He is beyond pissed.

I just have never seen anyone so unhelpful when someone has a baby and so inconsiderate for people who just had a baby.  They couldn't even help me carry in the groceries yesterday.

Re: Now I can vent.

  • Lots of hugs for you all.  I can't believe your FIL got upset that you wouldn't make him the cup of coffee with that machine considering a kid could use it.  Not to mention everything else.  At least you get a few days away from them and hopefully they will be better when they get back (I'm not holding my breath).  GL!
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  • I'm dumbfounded! I thought my IL's were less than helpful but this takes the cake! 

    I'm so sorry! Good riddance for them being gone.

    It sounds like you're feeling well though, at least.  

    Siggy Deleted Due to Internet Stalking. Mama to Q, born July 2010
  • Wow! That's beyond inconsiderate, I can't believe they will act like that. Sorry you have to deal with them.
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    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Oh Meg, I don't know how you are dealing with them and their ridiculous behavior.  I would have them helping make dinner and cleaning up or they wouldn't be eating!  That's just rude even if they are guest.  I mean you just had a baby and I'm sure you're time could be better spent on Ava than catering to their every need.  (((hugs)))
    Visit The Nest!
  • OMG, that's crap! I would be beyond pissed as well!! *Hugs*
    Anniversary
  • I am LIVID for you!!  I'm so sorry they suck dear :(

    big hugs!!

  • oh Meg, like I said yesterday they should be waiting on you not vice versa. I'm glad that your hubs sees what's going on and doesnt think you are crazy. I'm sorry that they aren't being helpful, and that they are just being so rude.  big hugs to you, at least they will be gone for a few days, as much as it breaks your hubs heart.
  • Wow!  I really have no words.  Lots of hugs!  Hopefully the rest of the time they're with you when they return on Friday goes by quick and smoothly.
  • WOW...  Just Wow...

    How is it that they think its ok to come visit you right after you have a baby and expect you to still do everything?  I just don't get people like that.  If you are going to come stay at someones house right after they have a baby then you are there to help and give the poor mom a break!  I'm so sorry you have had to put up with their crap!

    How is Mya doing with the new sibling?

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker BabyFruit Ticker
  • What the h*ll?!  I thought the point of family coming to stay after a baby was born was to help out.  I'm sorry that you have to deal with this in addition to the stress of becoming a mother to Ava.
  • OMG.... What is wrong with those people? They have the social graces of a turnip patch. Poor DH, I'll bet he's beyond embarrased Tongue Tied
  • You are amazing.  I can't believe you were being so active a week after Ava was born.  And waiting on people - who should be helping you! - without complaint?  You're more patient than I can even fathom.  Thank goodness they're gone now.  Kick up your feet and relax for a couple days just to recover from their visit.  They suck.
  • OMG I can't believe they're so rude! Hugz!
  • imageAprilJT:

    How is Mya doing with the new sibling?

    April, Mya is doing so much better since Amy Ro came.  She has been reading Ava books and helping out whenever I ask her too.  She is still nervous about giving her her pacifier, but it will get there.  I think that she likes sitting in the backseat with her and being in charge.  Thank you for asking.

  • Dude... they friggin suck...  Major (((((hugs))) and hope that they extend their stay in Boston!
  • Girls and I haven't even shared everything.  Thank you so much for your support.  Josh can't believe everyone's support. 
  • WOW. That is such crap. People suck. I am so sorry that you had to deal with that Meg (((hugs)))
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    ~Kimberly & Eric~ April 21, 2008 ~Tensing Pen ~ Negril, Jamaica ~ My Blog: One Sunset at a Time
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  • imageMs.Beachbum08:
    imageAprilJT:

    How is Mya doing with the new sibling?

    April, Mya is doing so much better since Amy Ro came.  She has been reading Ava books and helping out whenever I ask her too.  She is still nervous about giving her her pacifier, but it will get there.  I think that she likes sitting in the backseat with her and being in charge.  Thank you for asking.

    That's so good to hear! Do you think the photoshoot helped make Mya feel special? 

    Siggy Deleted Due to Internet Stalking. Mama to Q, born July 2010
  • Oh  my gosh!!  **HUGS** Meg!  That is horrible.  One would think that they could at least pick up after themselves considering you just had a baby--UGH!!  At least DH sees what is happening.  If I were ya'll, I might just forget what time their train arrives back on Friday  Wink
  • OMG that is awful!  You should NOT have to deal with that crap right now.  I'm so sorry!
  • Wow. I don't even know what to say Meg. It amazes me that your DH can be such a great guy, coming from these rude people. I am so sorry you had to waste time with them. I have no idea how you were able to do this right after Ava, and not kick them out the first night. You are a saint. Major (((( hugs)))) momma.
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    K+S 9.18.9 | DD #1 age 2 | PG # 5 EDD 9.17.12

  • And I thought I had the laziest, craziest IL's.  Sorry, but yours definitely trump mine! 
  • WOW!  i am stunned that people could be so inconsiderate!  Don't you have enough to do rather than cater to them?!  I can't even imagine what an awful few days that must have been for you.  ::HUGS::
  • Wow Meg ((HUGS)) I can't believe you've been having to deal with all that, and with a brand new baby - that just makes it 200 times worse!  So rude and inconsiderate!
  • Just reading that makes me so angry for you! I can't even comprehend how people can be so rude and inconsiderate. I would feel awful if I went to someones house and they waited on me the whole time! (((hugs)))

    Started TTC Nov. 2011 

    1st clomid cycle June 2012- No response :: HSG August 2012- Left tube blocked, right tube clear :: 2nd clomid cycle Aug. 2012 BFN :: 3rd clomid cycle Sept. 2012 :: BFP Sept 30th :: DS born 6/15/13 :: BFP #2 7/29/14 M/C 8/5/14 :: BFP#3 10/20/14 DD born 7/1/2015 :: Applied to be surrogate April '17 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for IFs Dec. '17 :: Surro Babe born 9/11/18 :: Started 2nd Journey May '19 :: Transferred 1 Embryo for new IFs 9/24/19 :: HB 138 at 6w6d


  • Wow. That's awful. I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that rude & hurtful behavior. :(
  • Ugh, they suck.  Period.  So sorry you had to deal with that! 

  • Thats just terrible.  I can't believe you have to deal with that.
  • imageBlondeBeachBride08:
    imageMs.Beachbum08:
    imageAprilJT:

    How is Mya doing with the new sibling?

    April, Mya is doing so much better since Amy Ro came.  She has been reading Ava books and helping out whenever I ask her too.  She is still nervous about giving her her pacifier, but it will get there.  I think that she likes sitting in the backseat with her and being in charge.  Thank you for asking.

    That's so good to hear! Do you think the photoshoot helped make Mya feel special? 

    Morgan, The photoshoot definitely helped. It helped her to feel important.

  • imageMs.Beachbum08:
    imageBlondeBeachBride08:
    imageMs.Beachbum08:
    imageAprilJT:

    How is Mya doing with the new sibling?

    April, Mya is doing so much better since Amy Ro came.  She has been reading Ava books and helping out whenever I ask her too.  She is still nervous about giving her her pacifier, but it will get there.  I think that she likes sitting in the backseat with her and being in charge.  Thank you for asking.

    That's so good to hear! Do you think the photoshoot helped make Mya feel special? 

    Morgan, The photoshoot definitely helped. It helped her to feel important.

    Wow, that is crazy, so sorry you have had to deal with that!  Im glad Mya is adjusting well to the baby.  Im sure as time goes by she'll really love being a big sister!

  • WOW.  How incredibly inconsiderate.  I'm sorry Meg.  I'm glad they're gone!
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    Katy and Brett ~ Runaway Bay, Jamaica ~ October 4, 2008

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker image image
  • Lisa7Lisa7 member

    imageMrs.N.H.:
    Wow! That's beyond inconsiderate, I can't believe they will act like that. Sorry you have to deal with them.

    This exactly. I am really sorry

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