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Hawaii Babies
Aspergers/ASD
ASD = Autism Spectrum Disorder.
Cant really type well, as I have a sleeping Sam in my arms but I had a chat with Maya's main carer at her day care centre today. It was a general 'chat about developmental stuff' that is regularly scheduled with all the parents.
She started telling me how Maya still only plays 'parallel' with other children there, instead of WITH them (which, at her age, she should be doing. Also, she doesn't follow 'two step directions' ("Maya, can you go to that cuboard and pick up that car?" etc)....along with a few other things.
I could sense she wanted to bring it up but was unsure how to approach it so I did it for her and mentioned I was looking into getting her assessed for ASD...and she looked relieved and we discussed the red flags she is exhibiting.
Now, IF she is diagnosed somewhere on ASD, I think she'd be what is known as 'high functioning'...meaning having a very mild case. It's manageable and we love her and we'll work through it. I know we will.
I have been thinking about it and looking it upeverywhere online and I've felt positive about tackling this if it does work out she has this.
However, I'm feeling a little low about it tonight.Worrying about things like her being teased at school or having trouble with relationships when she gets older.
Sigh...hoping that she doesnt have this and is just being 'Maya'.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Aspergers/ASD
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
exactly what Jamie said. I am sure all of this is very scary, but you are an amazing mama & will be everything Maya needs with or without a diagnosis.
oh Tina, I'm sorry for your worries.
+1 to the PP. regardless of what happens with the diagnosis, you and Maya are going to be great. If anyone can handle this, you can! hugs.
You have every right to feel overwhelmed, but like PPs said - you are an amazing mother!
Oh Tina, I am sorry. How overwhelming. But you're doing the right thing by looking for answers and trying to get Maya some help, if she needs it. I know some wonderfully brilliant and talented folks who are considered ASD.
What I have learned is that they have a different cognitive style than most of us and that if you can learn to work with the way their brain works they can really be highly functioning. Luckiily, these folks do wonderfully well with computers and technology since their brains work in similar ways (ordering minute data, etc.) I know a label on your kids is incredibly scary, but try to see it as figuring out what the issues might be so that they can be properly addressed.
One issue, as you've noted, is socialization...but if you can start now with therapies, etc. you'll be ahead of the game AND at the end of the day, Maya is Maya with or without ASD. Kids of all abilities and characteristics get teased...sad but true...if it's not one thing it's another. Yes, it's heart breaking and we as parents will do whatever we can to spare our child that pain...and you will...once you know exactly what you're dealing with here.
I had a voice student with Asperger's and she did wonderfully with the one on one lessons and eventually was able to find an expressive and social outlet by singing in a choir. Maya will find her way too...with your guidance, love and support. I know you'll do everything you can to help her...big hugs.
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
I'm glad you chatted with Maya's teacher. You've now opened up a GIANT door to help Maya. This teacher knows she can now be open and honest with you about your child and that you will be receptive to what she has to say. This is a big deal, as a previous day care teacher, there were things I wanted to talk with some parents about but couldn't because I didn't want to offend them. Now she knows she won't offend you and that are looking into things. She also knows that you are Maya's mom and you are dedicated to her and doing ANYTHING you can to help her. I'm sure she knew this before but now it's out in the open.
I'm sure this isn't easy at all. I can't imagine how you are feeling. I do however know about worrying about your DD and people making fun of her. It's a tough thing! Adults have already said "OMG what happened to her arm" about Bella's hand... it's frustrating and sad. I feel sad for when she gets older and people say this to her. As a parent and wanting to protect your child, you want to beat them to a pulp! You and your DH can work through anything and IF Maya is diagnosed with this, you will work through it.
Have you checked the special needs board? I found it very helpful to connect with a couple of mom's there. They were friendly, welcoming and helpful. They gave me ideas of who to talk to, what to ask drs and how to be sure Bella was using her "hand" to the best of her ability. I really found a peace there... maybe you can too...
Ok, I just wanna start off with saying how much I appreciate you all on this board. Yeah, that was corny but...wow talk about beautiful friends I haven't met, yet...!
Thank you for your support and shoulders, it really helps. In fact, I turn here first, usually, when there's something going on.
We do feel the best thing is being proactive and finding out what's going on with her and getting help for her as soon as possible. Even if she doesn't fall anywhere on the ASD, she still has behavioual issues that are concerning and need to be addressed.
Reading everything I have found so far on it has made me really take a harder, more studious look at Maya's behaviour. Tonight, it occurred to me that it really seems as if there is a VERY intelligent little girl in there BUT she doesn't have the social capacity to communicate what's inside, thus her great frustration and angry outbursts that happen SO much. I've seen little bursts of a greater understanding within her, here and there, because those bursts always stand out to me and take me aback. I stop and look at her and think "Wow, ok, she just had a flash of clarity there and actually understands more than she lets on...."
It's as if there's a gap between what's inside of her and having it communicated and she cant bridge it.
It's up to us to build that bridge for her. Or help her build that bridge.
I'm thinking of getting her some flash cards and teaching her some signing. It cant hurt. Obviously, wait and see what the pediatrition and the Autism Spectrum experts say and go from there.
Sarah, it's good to hear your perspective re. being a former teacher. I know that Maya's carer definitely felt relieved when I broached the topic and let her know we were very aware of the possibility of her having Aspergers or the like.
It would be heartwrenching for you to think about what B could potentially come up against down the road, in regards to peoples reactions to her hand. I SO know how you would feel re. that fierce protection you feel towards her! I know you'll raise that beautiful little girl to have an amazing attitude and fortitude though and she will be strong in her life to come.
Lori, spot on...you've hit the nail on the head with everything you said! It's one of the things I am keeping in my mind, that this is a different cognitive style and there are wonderful, talented, super intelligent people out there who have it.
Interestingly, Maya has an awe inspiring memory. She also sings all.the.time and can remember almost an entire song after only a couple of listens. She even gets the tune/pitch down pat. Anyone who knows her swears they'll be shocked if she doesn't work in the music industry in some way or at least have a lot of talent in that area.
She has a passion for music and singing and has had that since she was 1 or so. I sang to her pretty much all the time, even walking down the street, since her birth so that's what I attributed to it to lol.
I know I don't come on here often, but I did want to take a minute to commend you for being such a great Mom. Sounds like you're handling this as best as you can.
I get frustrated with certain parents, like my brother and sister-in-law, that refuse to believe that there might be something wrong with their child. My niece, who just turned 4 this week, has always demonstrated developmental delays, both physical & cognitive, but yet her parents just refer to her as being "slow." Maya is lucky to have you.
This is my first post over here, but like Lori, I've had many students with varying positions on the ASD spectrum. One of the things that many parents have told me is how much being in drama class has helped their child - it helps them learn socialization patterns, to understand and replicate facial expressions (which is something many with ASD struggle with) and body language. A lot of the miscommunication between those with ASD and those without stems from the fact that they speak a different kind of body language.
Remember, she's still the same girl with or without a diagnosis. She'll always be your Maya.
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