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TTC After a Loss 6 Months+
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DH is feeling guilty

schen0510schen0510
in TTC After a Loss 6 Months+

Last night dh and I were discussing our upcoming IVF...dates, meds, etc.  The last 2 rounds he wasn't very into it and was basically like just tell me when to be there and I will be there.  I told him that I am not worried really about the IVF working...it has worked the previous 2 times...my biggest concern now is keeping the baby in there.

While we were going through our last IVF round, his company put him on a project in Boston.  He was away my entire pregnancy and actually had to fly home when I was sent to the hospital and we lost the boys.  Last night, for the first time, he told me that he wished he had quite his job when I got pregnant last time because he should not have left me alone to take care of the house and the daily errands and chores.  He said that he feels like if he was home and I did not have the stress of taking care of the house that maybe we would not have lost the boys.  

This just broke my heart...I tried to tell him that there is no known reason as to why we lost the twins, the docs can't figure it out, and it just happened.  He promised that this time he will make sure that he is always around so that I am not alone.  It is just so hard to see him upset about this.  He has kept it in for so long...I wish he would have talked to me about it sooner.  ::sigh::

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Re: DH is feeling guilty

  • bbhalphenbbhalphen member
    I'm so sorry he is feeling that way.  ((hugs)) to both of you!
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  • BeachColeBeachCole
    That would break my heart too. :( Big hugs to you both. 
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  • dandyelledandyelle

    That's a really thoughtful thing for him to say. It's nice that he's sharing the emotional load with you. Sounds like you have a keeper. Smile

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  • rjl07rjl07

    I'm glad he finally talked to you about it.  That must have been tearing him up inside.  GL with this IVF cycle - I hope you are successful again!

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  • Orchard27Orchard27 member
    big hugs to you both
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  • butterfly843butterfly843
    ((hugs)) to both of you.

    Jenn

    image 3 IUI's all BFN

    IVF#1 BFN IVF#2 BFP, loss at 19 weeks FET#1 BFN IVF#3 BFP, m/c FET#2 BFN

    Missing our twins Zachary and Madison, lost at 19 weeks on 11/13/09, edd 4/9/10

    BFP 7/17/10, m/c 7/25/10, edd 3/25/11

    Ectopic, lost left tube 4/20/11, edd 12/6/11

    my blog

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  • ERICA21779ERICA21779
    ((((hugs))))))  to both of you............sounds like it's about time he let some of it out.......it's never a bad thing when you can communicate with each other especially about something as hard as this.
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