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Anybody have experience with 'waiting children' adoption?

swanckswanck
in Adoption

My husband really likes the idea of adopting up to 6 or 7 years old or so.

I don't see as much information about adopting children.  Anybody here have advice, thoughts or information?

TIA!

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Re: Anybody have experience with 'waiting children' adoption?

  • CaptainSeriousCaptainSerious member

    My husband and I just adopted a 7 year old boy from Peru.  In fact, we're still in-country!

    Most older child adoptions are either international or from foster care.  Before you decide on adopting an older child, it's important to know that adopting an older child comes with its own set of unique challenges.  Often these children have experienced more loss and trauma in their lives.  They may have lived with their birth family for some time or have been bumped around from place to place.  As such, they are more likely to be at risk for attachment issues and other emotional difficulties.

    That being said, adopting an older child can be a wonderful blessing.  We are absolutely in love with our little guy, and wouldn't have  done it any other way.

    A good place to start is with reading either Adopting the Hurt Child or Parenting the Hurt Child.  These books give a great overview of some of the issues that might occur in older child adoption.  Just don't let them scare you!  Many of the issues the author discusses are extremes, but the advice he offers create a great bonding toolkit.

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  • swanckswanck
    imageCaptainSerious:

    My husband and I just adopted a 7 year old boy from Peru.  In fact, we're still in-country!

    Most older child adoptions are either international or from foster care.  Before you decide on adopting an older child, it's important to know that adopting an older child comes with its own set of unique challenges.  Often these children have experienced more loss and trauma in their lives.  They may have lived with their birth family for some time or have been bumped around from place to place.  As such, they are more likely to be at risk for attachment issues and other emotional difficulties.

    That being said, adopting an older child can be a wonderful blessing.  We are absolutely in love with our little guy, and wouldn't have  done it any other way.

    A good place to start is with reading either Adopting the Hurt Child or Parenting the Hurt Child.  These books give a great overview of some of the issues that might occur in older child adoption.  Just don't let them scare you!  Many of the issues the author discusses are extremes, but the advice he offers create a great bonding toolkit.

    Thanks for this!  I'm sure I've got some digging around to do.  

    Thanks for the references.  

    And congratulation on your little guy!  I hope you are all home together soon.  Congrats!

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  • come*on*babycome*on*baby

    Another very good read is The Connected Child by Karyn Purvis. It focuses on attachment issues of children that lived in orphanages and in foster care. Being a foster parent myself, it was a good book to have and read.

    The older children are definitely hard, but sometimes so worth it. They have been through much more in their short lives than most adults will never even go through. 

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  • mbamommy4mbamommy4

    My husband and I adopted a 4 and 5 year old sibling group from Foster Care about 1 1/2 years ago.  The experience has been the most amazing journey of our lives and we can't imagine our lives without our children.  

    There are definitely tough days or even weeks.  The books previously mentioned that are written by Gregory Keck (Adopting the Hurt Child & Parenting the Hurt Child) are very useful tools.  

    My suggestion is to take the mandatory class offered by the state for all Foster/Foster to Adopt Parents (MAPP class).  It's a good place to start and will answer your questions on how to get the process started.  

    Best of luck!   

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  • tunanunatunanuna
    I adopted my daughter a few months before she turned 13.  I was single then.  It definitley was not the easiest thing I have ever done bu I wouldn't change it.  She is now  beautiful young lady with a bright future.
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  • swanckswanck

    Thanks ladies for the thoughts and advice.

    I look forward to digging in.

    I'm not sure how our adoption story will unfold, (infant or child), but I look forward to taking the journey with you!

    Thanks for your time.

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  • lilmufishlilmufish member
    I noticed your profile pic is one of you guys at Busch Stadium (the new one). Nice to know we have another cardinals fan on here! :)

    As far as waiting children, there are TONS of websites out there that have profiles of waiting children.  Most are a little older, are part of sibling groups and/or minority backgrounds.

    https://www.adoptuskids.org is a great website to get a general idea of children waiting.

    My recommendation is find an agency you like - and that you can trust so that you can find the best fit for your family. GL!
    My Blog Attempt Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
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