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Parenting after 35
Thinking of trying again
Dh and I had the talk about having one more child. He is more on board than I am. I get excited about the thought of being pg and Gracie having a sibling. It took us 14 cycles to conceive and I will be 39 next month. So, if we are going to try it needs to be soon.
How do you make this decision? I love Gracie more than I could ever imagine. Do I have enough energy for another child? I still cannot believe I am getting more on board with this every day. I told myself when she was born we had our baby and we were done! Am I crazy?!
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Re: Thinking of trying again
I say good for you! If you really want #2 and your DH is on board and you can manage it--I hope it works out for you.
That being said, I don't think you have to rush immediately. Just because it took you 14 cycles last time doesn't mean it will this time around. Gracie is only 7 months old. What if you conceive right away? I guess if you're OK with having such a small age difference, it's fine. But would waiting until she is closer to 1 make a difference?
Just make sure that your body is ready for another. Maybe talk to your OB?
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I don't think you're crazy, but I agree with Robyn about waiting. I'd suggest waiting until you're really ready and Gracie's a little bit older.
We won't officially start trying for a few more months because we'd like Mikey to be a bit older. That said, I'm a bit younger than you.
Good luck with whatever you decide!
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Oh, how exciting! I don't think you can be held to what you say in the immediate aftermath of having a baby. Right after C was born I declared that there was no way I was doing that again. I have since very much changed my mind.
Good luck with the decision. It's not an easy one and we are still grappling with it too.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Your not crazy!
I could not imagine my life any better than this! & how can you not want to create another beautiful life - Gracie is adorable! I think whatever age gap you chose is the right one... you & your husband will make it work!
I am pretty sure we are done with 3, but the decision was easy for us.. I love being a mom & once I met my first son - I could not wait to have a bigger family. Personally I thought #2 & #3 were so much easier too! I kind of knew what I was doing ; ) I love love the age gap we have (22 months & then 21 months) - but in the scheme of things kids are only little for such a short time.
We knew we wanted another one, my husband really believes in big families (he's of Irish descent so there you have it) and I was a "lonely only" so I was up for it too. I felt that time was of the essence as I will be 40 this year and know too many ladies who could not conceive after 40 without major intervention, which we cannot afford.
Long story longer, we decided we would just "see what happened" I was bf full time and had only 2 periods, then I got pregnant. It is a little (sometimes a lot) scary considering they will be only 14 1/2 mos. apart but I am also exited. I wonder if I will have enough energy, attention, time and love for everyone. But at the end of the day I feel like I have been graced to be a good mommy so far and done more than I thought I could before Brigid came and it will all come together when New Baby comes too.
I felt like I would never be 100% "ready" but am as ready as I will ever be! You will make the right decision for you and your family, trust your intuition and go for it!
Not crazy at all! Very exciting....
We pictured us with Sarah alone and us with Sarah and another child, and the second picture was so much more appealing to us. I love the idea of having a sibling for Sarah and another child, and them being able to grow up together. I'd like them to be close in age so we are actively trying...
That is very exciting. Someone told me that there is never the perfect time to have a child (or two) and if you want one then you just need to go for it.
I think if DH and I were a lot younger we would have another but for us now one works. DH agrees with me but we know that one child is right for us.
Not to sound stupid but by cycle do you mean menstrual or IVF or something else?
Not stupid at all! I guess I should have said 14 months of ttc :-)
I think if you want another one, go for it. You don't want to regret not having another child later in life. I want another baby but DH is not 100% on bored yet, although he's warming up to the idea. I would never "trick" him so I have to wait until he's ready. He's worried about $$, which I understand, we still have debt and another baby will make a huge dent in our small budget.
That said, I think you will find even more love for your new baby. As to energy, I don't know. I barely have energy for this one so I'm not sure how I would handle 2 under 2. I guess you just go for it and handle the details later! GL with your decision
Amy, you crack me up.
I think it's very exciting and I say go for it. If you wouldn't mind two under two just in case it happens right away. I am going to play devil's advocate though and say that it could take you a while again. You never know. (Just so you don't think I am being insensitive, it took us 10 cycles.) What if it took you, say, another 14 cycles? Would you be comfortable at a year + away from now still trying?
I had Finn when I was 40 and we are done now but we always knew we wanted a second so we just went for it. I don't know if we were 100% ready for a second but it has been a brilliant ride and Finn is awesome. So different from his brother but the same too. I can't imagine life without him. I love my boys!
As far as being exhausted, yeah I'm exhausted but I was exhausted with 1 and I am a full time sahm. I am not that much more exhausted. We even just got a new puppy (third child) to mix it up. If you want another child, I say go for it. It may take a long time, it may not but I am super happy they are all sleeping through the night and I don't have to wait a long time to gear up to do it again. I wanted them close together so their ages wouldn't be too far apart and I wanted to get all the newborn stuff over with once and for all. I couldn't imagine waiting a long time, getting back into shape and then doing it all over again. My boys are 23 months apart.
I don't think you are crazy at all! I have always wanted a big family and DH and I talked about this ALOT before we got married. It was such an important issue for me so I needed to make sure he was on baord. Good luck with your decision~
on a side note: Took us 14 cycles to conceive M too!! We are TTC #2 now. Saw my OB and my RE a little while ago, and they both gave us the green light. After 4 cycles with no luck, started my injections last night and am gearing up for an IUI.... I am really hoping it doesn't take us another 10...
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