- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months
queenie521
member
My ILs really piss me off sometimes....VENT!
queenie521
member
I am sure this is partially hormones speaking but my ILs really piss me off sometimes. It seems like they are only willing to do things that are convenient to them and never really "give in" a little. Maybe I am in the wrong here because they are trying to help us out but I am still annoyed. My MIL has obviously known my due date for quite some time and has also volunteered to take DS#1 when I have to go to the hospital. DS#1 was a week early so we have been trying to plan to make sure everything is arranged just in case I go early. MIL promised she would be available but then decided to plan a trip down to her shore house (2 hours away with no traffic) for a week a week and a half before my due date which had me paranoid (who knows how fast this delivery will go). Well she just got home now and we havnt had th baby so that is good, but I just went to my appointment, I am 4 cm dialated and 50% effaced and I am going to start acupuncture tomorrow to gett things moving with yet another big baby that I am having. I called her to see if she could watch my son for an hour a few times this week and she tells me she is busy all day tomorrow with her friends and that she is busy all day friday and then says that her and my FIL are going down to their shore house again on saturday (mind you, I am due on Sunday) and if I happen to go into labor, she will just bring DS down the shore with them. Ummmm......I DONT THINK SO!! I want DS at the hospital to meet his brother and I want him to be home when I come home from the hospital so we can have that family experience. There is NO WAY IN HELL that I am going to have him two hours away. DH was saying I was overreacting and then told me that he isnt going to have anyone else but his parents watch DS because it will upset his mom. I told him that they can watch him if they stay here, but if they plan on taking him away I am finding someone else that is willing to help us out.
I dont know, maybe I am being selfish, but this is a special family time that I will never get back and I am not going to have my MIL take my son down the shore just so it wont hurt her feelings. Tough sh*t! She knew when this baby was due and she volunteered to take our son!
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: My ILs really piss me off sometimes....VENT!
I don't think you are overreacting. Why would they offer and then decide to not be in town around your due date? I think it's reasonable to want your DS near to come to the hospital and share in the new family experience.
Off topic, but enjoy the acupuncture! It's so relaxing:)
Yeah that's a bunch of crap!! First of all your MIL is being ridiculous and rude putting this kind of stress on you days before you are due. She is the one who volunteered to take care of your DS while you were in labor/in the hospital and she needs to follow through now. Secondly, your DH needs to grow up and tell his mother that if she can't be available to watch your DS locally that you will be making alternative plans. Of course you want your first ds to meet his new little brother!
Good Luck, I hate in-law troubles!
I know you said this is a vent but to be honest, I do think you are overreacting a bit. You expect her to put her life on hold for the 3 week window that you could possibly have your baby? Yes, she did volunteer but she didn't sign her life over. You should probably make backup plans with someone else in case she isn't available.
ETA: Sorry, I didn't read the part where thay are going back to the beach on Sat the first time. I would definately make plans with someone else. That is rude, considering it's the day before you are due.
Well when someone offers to watch your child while you are having a baby, they are suggesting that they will be around near your due date. Or am I crazy here? lol
Yes, but some people don't think that 2 weeks before is close (other than the mommas). KWIM? I'm just saying that she should have a back-up.
No, you're no overreacting. ?DH needs to lay down the law with his parents: either they stay here with DS, or you're getting someone else to watch him. ?It doesn't have to be done in a rude way, he should just explain to them that you guys want DS close so he can come to the hospital.
And I would line up a back-up plan in case your ILs can't get back from the shore in time. ?Ugh, I would be so irritated with this whole thing.?
My ILs offered to watch DD1 while DD2 was born and wanted to plan a trip around the same time. They specifically asked when my due date was while planning their trip so that they would be home around my due date. I thought that was kind of the norm? I'm not saying they have to sit at home with their phones in their hands in case you call, but yeah, they should stay nearby and realize that plans might have to be canceled or changed to accommodate you when you go into labor.
I don't think you're overreacting. I wouldn't let my child be 2 hours away while I was in L&D. If my DH didn't step up and tell her, I would.
I don't know. She's not going to be THAT far away, so she could get there if she needed to, I'm sure. I think I'd have a back-up plan just in case, but if you called her when you start to go into labor, she should have plenty of time to com back from the shore before you need to leave for the hospital. She has a right to have a life too; she's not just waiting for your baby to arrive.
I would ask her again to please not take your son down the shore though. Actually, I would have DH tell her that that was not what you guys wanted.
Weekend shore traffic is REALLY bad and it could take 4 or 5 hours for her to get home on the weekend and everyone tells me that number 2 typically comes a lot quicker. Not to mention that this weekend is my ACTUAL due date.
Ya, doesn't she want to be nearby when her new grandchild is born?