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Upstate NY Babies
TinaL99
member
Age difference between kids
TinaL99
member
I am constantly thinking about the "ideal" age difference between children. DH & I plan on having 1 more, eventually. I'm curious about the age difference between your children and what you think about it. Is it better to have DC #1 potty trained first or is it no big deal to have 2 in diapers? Do you give DC #1 a few years to be the center of attention or bring another baby into the picture sooner?
My sister & I are 4 1/2 years apart and our relationship is sort of love/hate. I think that's more due to our personalities though. I'm not sure how it was on my parents with us being so far apart.
DD1: 3/31/10
DD2: 9/7/11
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Age difference between kids
m/c 1/2/08 and 3/12/08
Eve Amelia- Born 2/24/09. 6lb 9.9oz
Natalie Ruth - Born 6/13/11 7lb 6.6oz
I think 2.5-3 is ideal. My DD was able to communicate with me and vice versa, and was able to play more independently. It made a big difference when the baby arrived. Plus she was sleeping better and set up in her big girl bed. I think when she was 2, it would have been a lot more difficult.
We did a lot of potty training after my 2nd was born (when DD was 2.5), but it still worked out fine. Also another thing to think about - I started DD in preschool when she turned 3, which was a huge help!
Nest Bio ~ ~ Baby Food Blog
I really think we are one and done, but if we had another, it wouldn't be until Evan was at least 3. I really want to have as much one on one time w/ him as I can. That way he will be starting some type of preschool, so I'd still have some kind of one on one time w/ #2.
My brother and I are 2.5 years apart. I think like all siblings, we fought as kids... went through stages. But now we are really close. Although, I don't think age has so much to do w/ how close siblings are. My DH has 2 sisters, one is 15 months older, and one is 2 years younger. He is not close w/ either. His 2 (half) brothers are 8 and 10 years younger than him, and he is really close w/ them.
DH is already talking about #2 and #1 isn't here yet! I want to at least wait until he's in preschool- simply to cut down on daycare costs. We have an all day preschool near our house and it's pretty reasonably priced.
My kids are 2yrs and some change apart and I think it is a great difference. The transition of bringing home Brianna went better than I could have ever imagined. Ty and Bri play so well together and really love each other. It was just far enough apart that Ty had been out of his crib for about 6 months so he didn't think it was his and I certainly didn't need to buy another. Ty was old enough to walk on his own when I got pg so I didn't have to lift and carry him much while pg. Ty wasn't potty trained when B was born, but it wasn't a big deal having two in diapers. By 2 they don't go through nearly as many diapers as when they're little. I almosr think Ty liked thar he could relate to B since they did both wear diapers, it was something they had in common. And Ty was not so old that baby things were so far beyond him.
My sister and I are 7 years apart. We also had our moments when we were really close and then not so much. Although I wouldn't wish that my kids were 7 years apart it's really all I know. I guess when I think about it I would want my kids between 2 and 3 years apart.
My sons are 18 months apart. I have to say that it was definitely VERY hard when my youngest was born because my oldest was still very young too. They both needed a lot of attention and care. And my oldest didn't understand that when his baby Brother needed to be fed I had to feed him right away. I remember the mornings (while on maternity leave) being very tough just coordinating how I'd get them both downstairs and fed when they woke up at the same time. Since Justin obviously couldn't go down the stairs by himself (he still doesn't) I'd have to bring him down first, put him in the pack-n-play and then run back upstairs to get the baby. And usually at least one of them was crying.....lol. It only took about three months to get into a groove though. It's still very busy, but things like having two in diapers really isn't a big deal. I'm lucky though because my husband is very hands on with the kids. I can't imagine having two so close in age if he didn't help at all. Another thing I love about having them so close is that my oldest has never been jealous of the baby. He loves him to death. And I think (hope) they will be very close when they get older.
My sister and I are 3 years apart. We used to fight a ton when we were kids but became super close in our early twenties.
My kids are 19 months apart and as busy as it was at first I totally love it. Now that Joe is a year, him and Bella are becoming little buddies and it is so much fun to watch! It did take her some time to warm up to him being around, but I think that is her personality too. I don't think having 2 in diapers is so horrible. I'm definitely working my tail off to have Bells potty trained by the time the 3rd one comes though. I just don't want to be buying diapers for 3 kids. Between my next and Joe there will be 20 months and even though we didn't plan it like that I am really like it ended up that way. Most women I talk to who have kids close in age say its great in the long run.
On a side note my brother and I are 3 years apart and are super close. I wouldn't want to space my kids any more than that.
I have been wrestling with this too...asking people- reading up what the "experts" say...and I keep going back and forth...MY DH wants us to have them close (like he keeps saying lets start trying this fall..uhm, WHAT?!?) and I am more inclined to try for around the 3 year mark...
The age is important but I also think a big key is how the parents treat the kids..are they grouped together or are their individual personalities allowed to blossom...
Good Luck..it's a toughy!
That's tough! We are just starting TTC, so we've thrown this topic around if we are blessed without complications. My sister and I are 3.3 years apart, and are not too close. It seemed like as I was moving into another stage, she was moving into the one I left, kwim?
On the other hand, my DH and his brother are 10.5 months apart. They are best friends and I've heard from MIL that while the first three years were very difficult, she wouldn't change a thing! Brave, I tell ya!
We are thinking that if we can have another a baby our children will be close in age. Since we can only get pregnant with the help of medical science there is no chance that we will ever get to be surprised. This makes me kind of sad. I have told DH that I would really love to try soon because if there is a chance for us to get pregnant again I want to know. If we go to the fertility doctors and it doesn't take then we will know and be able to move on. This is a subject I have been thinking about a lot since we had the baby. I wish I had a crystal ball to just know if we are going to be able to have another. I have told DH that I am so afraid if we wait a couple of years and it doesn't take it will be just that much harder. We do hope to have four children and they would be pretty close in age. (That is/was our wishful thinking before we found out about our infertility. We do feel so blessed to have our one. We are just so happy to have our one that we know we will be ok and love every minute of her growing up. ) Sorry, to stray from the original post it just made feel better to write his down.