Am I the only scared one?

beeunit · July 2010

My husband and I have been TTC to for almost 2 years. Now that it's finally here, I'm scared! Sleep deprivation, hard and painful labor, colic, and who knows what else. I'm happy, of course, but in the back of my mind I can't stop being scared. Does this make me a bad mom-to-be?

Beccaboo0713 · July 2010

Ha, no it doesn't make you a bad mom-to-be. Show me one person who says they are not afraid of the unknown and I will show you a lair (for the most part).

DS was the worst sleeper, he had colic, he was in the NICU, and my labor was horrible (he came out sunny side up Crying ).

But the only thing I am really scared of this time is 1) will this baby make it to full term (I don't think I could do another NICU baby - I mean I could but it would difficult) and 2) HOW will this new baby affect my DS.

Labor doesn't frighten me (in fact, I am looking forward to it).

abcNC · July 2010

Not at all! I'm scared too. I go back and forth between scared and totally at peace with no middle ground. This is a grand undertaking but many women have come before you and many women will come after. You are joining the ranks and all those beautiful mommas around you probably felt the same way you feel right now. It'll be okay, just keep talking about it. That's what I do. I'm glad to see I'm not alone. Right this second, I'm terrified! Tongue Tied Ugh!! Hopefully a 2nd time momma can tell us that it gets better...

abcNC · July 2010

Hehe... I was writing at the same time as beccaboo so I hadn't read it yet. Thank you, Beccaboo!!! Big Smile

hyperangel_8509 · July 2010

Hello!

That doesn't make you a bad mom to be! You have every right to be terrified of such a huge change in your life....I know I am!

Just take it one day at a time Smile

mrsjanks · July 2010

I'm scared of losing sleep and something happenening to LO that I can't fix. I know both of those things will happen, but I don't do well without sleep. Although, since getting pregnant, my sleep is all screwed up because I wake up 3-4 times a night. We'll see how life goes once I'm back to work in 2 weeks (when school starts).

MamaLAM · July 2010

A wise friend of mine who has 6 kids once told me that she never thought she was prepared for the next child, she was always nervous, but God gave her the strength to care for/raise the next child, one at a time.

A less extreme example is me, with one baby. I was unprepared, not scared at all, overconfident before my DD was born. I assumed everything would be slightly challenging but mostly perfect. BOY was I wrong! The first 6 months were so much harder than they should have been, because of my crazy expectations.

I think you are normal and healthy! Turn that fear into some realistic expectations of the possibility of problems, discomfort, lack of sleep, worry about the baby, challenges, etc. Then you won't be as shocked as as. Expect the "worst" but hope for the best! And you will be a fantastic mom. And you WILL survive those challenges, and be a stronger person for them.

katjafly · July 2010

I am terrified. I have been crying for the past two days. The ONLY person besides DH & I who knows, keeps telling me that I'll never graduate college and I won't get to finish my semester b/c baby is due a month & a half before I graduate. I thought I wanted a baby, but I don't know that we're financially ready yet at all. I told DH I think we need to tell family that we're expecting, b/c I need the support, but he is a no-go.

mklove1984 · July 2010

I was talking to a friends grandmother last night and she said the way she got through all three of her pregnancies was to remind herself that women have been given birth since the dawn of time an if they could have a kid behind a bush, tie it to their backs and go back to work, then surely she can make it. Thinking about it like that calms me, but I'm still worried. It's only natural to worry.

bre87 · July 2010

i read somewhere (i think babycenter???) that if you're worried about whether or not you'll be a good mom, then you already are one cause bad moms never question it. it actually made me relieved to think about it that way.

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