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beyond irritated with DH's family.

a_chance2007a_chance2007
in Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Yesterday MIL just showed up out of nowhere, unannounced... no phone call, no text message.. NOTHING. DS had just went down for a nap. Being that he only takes one nap a day anymore its one good long nap usually 2-3 hours. He was down for maybe a half hour... the dogs start freaking out barking like crazy, I am in the bedroom, I had just gotten out of the shower walking around in my jeans and no shirt no bra nothing on, DH had just gotten into the shower... I come out of our bedroom only to see the front door opening, I run back in the room to throw on a shirt.. DS is now up SCREAMING. I dont even say hi to her, I walk past her and go and grab him. She goes, "im so sorry im so sorry, I didnt know he was sleeping" and I replied "your right you didnt, but if you had called or texted then I would have told you"

 Now today DS had just went down for bed. FIL comes over, no phone call no text message, NOTHING. Dogs go crazy barking running around the house.. Guess who wakes up.

I've had it.  the thing is they know when he usually goes down for a nap (anywhere between 11-12) they know when he goes to bed (730-830) You think that they would at least give me or DH a heads up when they were coming over around those times.. That way I can just let the dogs outside and not have to deal with the barking.

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Re: beyond irritated with DH's family.

  • ineffectineffect

    Well, this is just me, but I think you are being a little harsh in your anger.  Yes, they should call first, but if your dogs go that crazy every time someone rings the doorbell, I bet he wakes up a lot.

     

    My mom pops over constantly and just walks in unannounced.   It's just the relationship I have with her.  I don't mind that much, since she is pretty close to me and my daughter.  I get the impression your husband has the same relationship with his parents.  That said, if my inlaws did it I might mind a little more, but I wouldn't really have the right to get mad, since my husband doesn't mind my mom's little visits.

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  • janinekrausejaninekrause member

    The barking isn't the thing- it is the complete lack of boundaries. My sister lives 5 mins away and so do my parents. Only twice in 2 years have my parents ever popped over to drop something off. I got really upset with them-one time DD was sleeping, i was lying down and got totally freaked out when someone knocked on back door.

    Even if your LO didn't wake up, its not right- i.e. you weren't dressed. What if you wanted time alone, were having sex, etc? it just isn't right.

    That being said, has anyone ever explained this to them? i.e. we love seeing you and living close, but we really don't want pop ins. If you want to visit, please call us and give us the heads up. If someone has talked to them and they don't respect that- then it is a whole different issue. But clearly they don't get it, so please talk to them (DH should) if you haven't.

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  • a_chance2007a_chance2007
    imagejaninekrause:

    The barking isn't the thing- it is the complete lack of boundaries. My sister lives 5 mins away and so do my parents. Only twice in 2 years have my parents ever popped over to drop something off. I got really upset with them-one time DD was sleeping, i was lying down and got totally freaked out when someone knocked on back door.

    Even if your LO didn't wake up, its not right- i.e. you weren't dressed. What if you wanted time alone, were having sex, etc? it just isn't right.

    That being said, has anyone ever explained this to them? i.e. we love seeing you and living close, but we really don't want pop ins. If you want to visit, please call us and give us the heads up. If someone has talked to them and they don't respect that- then it is a whole different issue. But clearly they don't get it, so please talk to them (DH should) if you haven't.

     

    this exactly. I was 1/2 naked.. luckly I was close enough to throw on cloths. AND to top it off or bed is in the living room right now due to lack of AC in our bedroom and swollen feet.. what If me and DH were having sex.. not that we were, but you never know. And I have never had nor has DH really ever had that relationship with either of our parents just walking in.

    edit: We havent talked to them about it yet because they never have really given us a reason.. Usually MIL would text and say "Hey Im going to be stopping by with in the hour" At least I have a heads up then.. Just recently its been no heads up.. DH had said something to her about it yesterday after she had stopped over..

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  • janinekrausejaninekrause member
    imagea_chance2007:
    imagejaninekrause:

    The barking isn't the thing- it is the complete lack of boundaries. My sister lives 5 mins away and so do my parents. Only twice in 2 years have my parents ever popped over to drop something off. I got really upset with them-one time DD was sleeping, i was lying down and got totally freaked out when someone knocked on back door.

    Even if your LO didn't wake up, its not right- i.e. you weren't dressed. What if you wanted time alone, were having sex, etc? it just isn't right.

    That being said, has anyone ever explained this to them? i.e. we love seeing you and living close, but we really don't want pop ins. If you want to visit, please call us and give us the heads up. If someone has talked to them and they don't respect that- then it is a whole different issue. But clearly they don't get it, so please talk to them (DH should) if you haven't.

     

    this exactly. I was 1/2 naked.. luckly I was close enough to throw on cloths. AND to top it off or bed is in the living room right now due to lack of AC in our bedroom and swollen feet.. what If me and DH were having sex.. not that we were, but you never know. And I have never had nor has DH really ever had that relationship with either of our parents just walking in.

    Tell DH to talk to them. Its not offensive if said the right way. Trust me- I am very very close to my sister and parents and they know better. I don't pop in on them either- even if I just call 5 mins before when I am on my way.

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  • Stellar1Stellar1
    I feel for you. You and/or your DH need to have a talk with them. I dealt with that stuff from my MIL for awhile until it just became too much. I had DH talk to her and she rarely does it anymore. She will usually always call first. Good luck. And I do feel like you have a right to be pissed. It's your house and no one (including family) should feel like they can just come over unannounced!
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  • EastCoastBrideEastCoastBride member
    Tomorrow, your DH needs to go see his parents and talk to them.  "Based on what happened this weekend - I need for you to call or text before coming over.  As you both experienced, the dogs bark, it wakes up DS, and mom - DW was only 1/2 dressed when you walked in.  This can't happen again.  We appreciate your understanding on this."
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

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  • Mrs.McLovinMrs.McLovin member

    Locking the front door would be a good start...

    If they have a key, get it back! Have your DH talk to them.

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  • stepheliasstephelias member
    imageMrs.McLovin:

    Locking the front door would be a good start...

    If they have a key, get it back! Have your DH talk to them.

    This.

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
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  • allie_wangallie_wang
    Just a thought - can you put a sign on your gate or mail box or something that would warn your IL's that DS was napping before they got within dog range?  Or, put the dogs out during nap time?  That way, you could avoid waking DS.  As for the boundary issue - can't help - my MIL is hopeless and makes me insane!
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