I think I screwed up. My DS is 2 and still co sleeping.

Karma1969 · July 2010

I love it, but it so much more about me now than him. I don't know how to make the transition but I feel like I should have done this one year ago. I don't want him to CIO but at 2 is that really my only option now?

Any advice?

ncbelle · July 2010

You haven't screwed up!

My kiddo is younger than yours but I think what we did might work for you too as it's very gradual - I wrote about it here if you want the details: https://www.becomingmamas.com/little-kid-big-bed/ - basically though I started by sleeping with him in his room some and then moving away from that as he needed me less at night.

I've also heard people have success with creating kiddo a little bed in their room and then transitioning to kiddo's room once that is working well.

It may take a little while but you can do it!

erinncnc · July 2010

I don't think you've screwed up! My DD is 21 months and we're still co-sleeping/part night bedsharing too. We have her toddler bed in our room, where she sleeps from when she goes down, around 8:30, until she wakes between 12-1, at which point she gets into bed with us. We'll work on moving her to her room sometime in the next many months.

Jelliebean1982 · July 2010

You should lurk on the toddler boards more. Do you realize how many or those kids will.not.sleep in their own beds? Many parents have to turn the locks around, put a childproof cover on the door, or put up a baby gate to keep their kid in their own bed. I'm just not fighting what comes naturally to my family. DD starts off in her bed but then always comes to our bed in the middle of the night. A lot of parents cosleep with their babies because they realize that they need the extra love and cuddles. Since when is the need for closeness not a legitimate need that we would force a kid to sleep separately? I realize that it doesn't work for all families, but it's not a sign of a parenting failure AT ALL.

EmmieB · July 2010

Here's our plan....eventually ( Wink )

Bunny has a floor bed set up in his room. As soon as his room stops being the guest room on a pretty constant basis, we'll start napping in there. I plan on laying down with him, nursing him down, and getting up and walking out when he's asleep. When that is successful, we'll have that as the bedtime routine and move him to our room when he wakes to nurse at night. As his nights stretch out, so will his time in his room. If he goes back and forth for a while, that's fine, but he'll know that he's got a spot that's all "his" when he needs some alone time.

mrstarawalsh · July 2010

You haven't screwed up! My son was a bit older than yours when we transitioned him to his own bed full time (he had been sleeping w/ his daddy the nights I worked at least part time). What we did was set his bed up, a full size, and then his dad or I would start the night in there, let him fall asleep w/ us I bed w/ him and then. Leave when he fell asleep. Gradually over a few weeks we went from laying w/ him to sitting, to sitting on the edge of the bed, to the floor, inching closer to the door each night. He sleeps most of the night in his own bed now without a fuss. although he still comes in for some 4am snuggles then back to his own room.

MamiJam · July 2010

Jelliebean1982:
You should lurk on the toddler boards more. Do you realize how many or those kids will.not.sleep in their own beds? Many parents have to turn the locks around, put a childproof cover on the door, or put up a baby gate to keep their kid in their own bed. I'm just not fighting what comes naturally to my family. DD starts off in her bed but then always comes to our bed in the middle of the night. A lot of parents cosleep with their babies because they realize that they need the extra love and cuddles. Since when is the need for closeness not a legitimate need that we would force a kid to sleep separately? I realize that it doesn't work for all families, but it's not a sign of a parenting failure AT ALL.

Very well said. I'd also recommend reading Nighttime Parenting and The Baby Sleep Book both by Dr. Sears et al. Those books discuss several options for transitioning a toddler into their own bed/room and the authors/experts themselves have co-slept with their toddlers.

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I think I screwed up. My DS is 2 and still co sleeping.

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