Don't know when to tell people....

brian's_wife · July 2010

I am approx. 4 wks. 1 day.

My first dr. appointment is the 26th. We are hoping to see at least the sac and yolk, if not *possibly* a little flicker.

My husband and I are very close to family and friends. We are an open book. It is killing us to keep this a secret.

I also have Type 1 diabetes, which brings its own unique challenges.

Part of me really wants to tell people after that first appointment, even though it will still be very early just for support. I also understand not wanting to have to tell everyone if something goes wrong.

I just feel the more people praying for this little baby, the better.

Any advice? When are you guys telling people?

Laurakat81 · July 2010

This time around my husband and I chose to tell our immediate families and our best friends immediately...as in hours after getting our BFP at only 10dpo. Having gone through a miscarriage before I know just how important it is to have the prayers of family and friends who want this baby as much as we do. And the support if something does go wrong. Keeping it a secret from the general public is fine...if something does go wrong you'll not want everyone in your face asking about it, giving their ignorant opinions on why it happened to you, etc. But I must admit I am a very strong advocate for telling someone from the get go. I think you're right...the more people praying the better!

We have our first appointment on Wednesday and assuming we see a healthy heartbeat we'll tell a few more friends. But as for work and the general public, they'll just have to wait til I'm showing!

brian's_wife · July 2010

Laurakat81:
This time around my husband and I chose to tell our immediate families and our best friends immediately...as in hours after getting our BFP at only 10dpo. Having gone through a miscarriage before I know just how important it is to have the prayers of family and friends who want this baby as much as we do. And the support if something does go wrong. Keeping it a secret from the general public is fine...if something does go wrong you'll not want everyone in your face asking about it, giving their ignorant opinions on why it happened to you, etc. But I must admit I am a very strong advocate for telling someone from the get go. I think you're right...the more people praying the better!
We have our first appointment on Wednesday and assuming we see a healthy heartbeat we'll tell a few more friends. But as for work and the general public, they'll just have to wait til I'm showing!

That sounds like what we are thinking.

We are going to wait until our appointment just to see him/her and make sure everything is fine. Then we will tell family and close friends.

The hard thing is going to be with our church. My husband and I were raised in that church and they will be SO excited to hear about a baby. The majority of our friends attend there, so I'm hoping they can keep it quiet for at least a while.

And I'm hoping no one posts anything on facebook. I am friends with co-workers and I'm not quite ready for that yet.

drea_raye · July 2010

We told the In Laws pretty much right away... they had already figured something was up (didn't drink during a family wedding) and we had to ask them to stop smoking when I was around.

I told one girl at work when she was freaking about her surprise bfp (she is three weeks ahead of me.)

I am inclined to give up the secret and start telling people. I think that if the worst were to happen at this point I would want people to understand why I wasn't myself.

To each their own I think. It would be easier for me to decide if I was having an early u/s... but I only get the big one at 18wks.

Kimnid · July 2010

I don't have any advice, except to tell when you feel most comfortable.
I understand how you are feeling. With my first, we told our parents and my brother right away (H doesn't have siblings). But I didn't tell any other family, friends or co-workers until I was about 12 weeks.
I just found out a few days ago that I am pregnant with our second baby, so only my parents know so far. I'm still deciding when to tell other family members and friends.
Good luck in whatever you decide, and congratulations!!!

boxermom78 · July 2010

All this is really helpful! We've told our parents, and I've told two ladies that I am close to who are like second moms. I have some close friends that I will possibly tell just for the prayer support, too, and those who have been journeying with us. It's tough though...one of the close friends recently had a m/c at 14 weeks. I feel terribly for her (even though she has 3 other children, and this one was a surprise bfp I can only imagine how much it is such a difficult time for her.)

raeg13 · July 2010

I have told a few close girlfriends who I have been talking about TTC for months now, so they knew the plan. I knew if I stopped talking about it completely they would figure it out for themselves anyway. I plan on telling other close family and friends after the first u/s at about 8 weeks. I probably would have told my parents sooner, but they live 4 states away and they happen to be coming down to visit us the week after my first u/s and I am beyond excited to get to tell them in person because if we didn't get KU in June, this wouldn't have been possible. We will wait to tell everyone else until the 2nd trimester.

This is just our personal plan that we are comfortable with. Everyone is different and some girls here have even announced it on FB already. Just talk to your SO and decide what you feel most comfortable with. Good luck!

katrina_pharmd · July 2010

we haven't told any family or friends in the states. it is easy to keep a secret when you live on the opposite side of the planet. we are saving the surprise till we go back in october for a visit. i will be about half baked then, so they won't need an announcement.

i told my work mates right away b/c i work with drugs/chemicals, so i didn't want to handle things even while TTC. everyone there is so supportive, and again, being so far from home, they are my family here in NZ.

andrea922 · July 2010

I have always had the opinion of don't tell anyone that you wouldn't want to tell if there was a problem, so anyone you would share a m/c with would be someone you would tell before 12 weeks.

caitlinanne326 · July 2010

i'm right there with you girl! My husband and I are very close with our families also. We have been through a lot the last year and a half. I have only told my sister, mom, his parents, my boss and his sgts. I am TERRIFIED of what people will think and I do not want people judging me. I love this little baby already, our first appointment is Tuesday. I am 5 weeks and 3 days. I'm very excited but I want to wait a little longer before I tell everyone. I think it's really what you feel comfortable with and who you feel comforable telling.

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