Potluck Baby Shower — The Bump
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Potluck Baby Shower

I got invited to a shower that asked everyone to bring a dish to pass. Is this tacky?
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Re: Potluck Baby Shower

  • imageCourtneyR2N:


    It is one thing to call a few people that the hostess knows really well and asking them to pick up some ice or some napkins or maybe make a special dish they are known for.  But not for invitations to be mailed asking for food.

    I agree with this. If the hostess can't afford to have food, then have limited food and have it at a time that is not a meal time. 

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  • It might be tacky in the "rule books" but I don't personally have a problem with it.  My friend had a baby shower and her hostess asked everyone to bring a breakfast dish for a potluck breakfast.  I didn't think twice about it and all the food was delicious.
    mrsbstau
  • We do that ONLY for work showers - where we usually have more than one mom-to-be to celebrate, and plenty of coworkers to spread the cost of food around.
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  • It might be tacky in the "rule books" but I don't personally have a problem with it.  My friend had a baby shower and her hostess asked everyone to bring a breakfast dish for a potluck breakfast.  I didn't think twice about it and all the food was delicious.

    This. I don't think "rule books on etiquette" apply in this sort of economy during these times, not everyone can afford to pay $25+ a head for a shower to feed people. 

    I have been to a number of showers that have been held at restaurants where everyone pays their own tab and the hostess usually picks up the momma, bride etc's bill and showers where it was a potluck in a home with lots of people etc..... I think the burden falling on one person to feed a large number of people esp in todays economy is not right, I am guessing you probably don't know the current financial status of the hostess (her DH may have just lost his job etc) you never know so to judge that it is tacky isn't fair. I would rather make a dish and have a bunch of yummy food than go somewhere and only have a veggie tray and chips to choose from. In the right situation it can be pulled off very well. 

  • If I was invited to a Potluck Shower, I would think that my dish was the gift for the mother to be...she wanted a gathering of her friends and family and wanted everyone to pitch in...fine.

    However, and that is a BIG however, if there was registry information included too, I would decline the invitation. That is so tacky IMHO. Bring me the party...and a present.

    The only exception would be a work shower, where everyone brings a dish and there is a group gift where everyone puts in $10 or whatever.

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  • This is tacky to me. If it's a work shower, that's different, but someone actually giving a shower and they put that on the invitation? The hostesss shouldn't have a problem providing the food and if she can't she shouldn't be hosting IMO.
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  • I'd say it depends on the party.  If it were just my family, I'd be all for bringing a dish to share.  But, if it were a friend I was only sort of close to, it may be a major turn off for me.

    I had a friend in high school that would throw herself bday parties every year and she always asked all of us to bring $5.  And then also a bday present.  It drove me insane.

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  • IMO this is tacky. 

    A host hosts. That means providing food and drink. If she can't afford to do that then she shouldn't be hosting.

    As others have said, a work shower is different.  

  • imageCrazyToast:
    We do that ONLY for work showers - where we usually have more than one mom-to-be to celebrate, and plenty of coworkers to spread the cost of food around.

    This. 

  • imagestruttonnorf:
    I don't think "rule books on etiquette" apply in this sort of economy during these times, not everyone can afford to pay $25+ a head for a shower to feed people. 

    Good Lord, who would host a $25/person shower???  That's ridThe hosts pick up the tab, period.  If you're hosting limit it to as many people as you can afford to feed.  Finger foods are fine.  As already stated, unless it's a work shower this is just never OK.

    [Deleted User]
  • I brought a dish to my cousin's bridal shower.  Her maid of honor was another cousin who just had a baby and looking for a new job and just needed help with the shower.  We were also asked to bring the recipe for the dish and they were going to make a recipe book for the bride.  The dish wasn't expensive or anything.  Cost me maybe $5 at the most.  It's not like they asked me to pick up a veggie trayl or anything. 

    I never gave it a second thought but perhaps it was different because it was a bridal shower and they were using the recipes for the bride's recipe book.

  • I realize I'm the early bird here, but I've attended a few baby showers to develop an opinion.  IMO this is tacky unless it's for work.  If you offer to host the shower, you should have thought about cost first.

    And seriously?  $25 per person?  What are you having?  A huge dinner?  You can have a nice simple luncheon and cut costs by making dishes such as chicken salad sandwiches, fruit salads, chips, pretzels.....

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  • imageSimply Fated:

    When you take on the responsibility of hostess for a baby shower, you have taken on the responsibility of hosting. This includes providing food and drinks.

    If you can't afford it, you shouldn't have offered to host it.

     Yes, it's tacky to have offered to host a party and then have the guests cater it.

     


    This completely. Yes times are tough and some people can't afford to feed a bunch of people. In that case, you don't offer to host a shower.
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  • So, I'm hosting a shower and I'm asking everyone to bring a dish and putting where the mother to be is registered. I'm sorry if this is tacky to everyone who posted earlier but every situation is different. I am hosting a shower for 50+ people and I'm sorry but I can't afford that and told the mother to be I wanted to do half of that. Her response was no one else offered in her huge family. So to those of you who said I should not host it then, is your suggestion to just tell the mother to be that I can't do 50 and I will no longer host her shower. And then no one has her shower?
  • I think it is a bit tacky. Guests are already spending $50+  on a gift and now you are asked to bring a dish?

    IMHO I think the hostess should have either not volunteered to host to begin with, or she should have recruited a few other ladies to co-host so that they could all pull in for food costs together. Putting it on the guests to bring food is kinda weird to me.
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    [Deleted User]chicagojackie
  • So, I'm hosting a shower and I'm asking everyone to bring a dish and putting where the mother to be is registered. I'm sorry if this is tacky to everyone who posted earlier but every situation is different. I am hosting a shower for 50+ people and I'm sorry but I can't afford that and told the mother to be I wanted to do half of that. Her response was no one else offered in her huge family. So to those of you who said I should not host it then, is your suggestion to just tell the mother to be that I can't do 50 and I will no longer host her shower. And then no one has her shower?
    My response earlier was to the original question posted 4 years ago- didn't realize that this thread was brought up today by this question until now.

    I do however stand by my original statement. It is tacky and reflects poorly on you as well as the MTB IMO. 

    I think you are trying to do a good thing for your friend, but it is not your responsibility to take on a huge shower because nobody else offered. If she is a good friend (which I imagine she is considering you will be hosting a shower for her) she SHOULD understand that if you cannot afford it, then she needs to cut the list down. Or like I said, recruit a few other girl friends or family members to help out. 
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  • chicagojackiechicagojackie member
    edited August 2014

    When you take on the responsibility of hostess for a baby shower, you have taken on the responsibility of hosting. This includes providing food and drinks.

    If you can't afford it, you shouldn't have offered to host it.

     Yes, it's tacky to have offered to host a party and then have the guests cater it.

     


    This. 100%.
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  • Tacky! Guests should not be asked to bring food to a shower. 

    If you are on a budget (and arent we all) i see no reason why you cant just serve punch, coffee and cakes.  Depending on the time of day (say 230-3pm between traditional meal times ) i dont think  people would expect a big meal. You could also try limiting the number of people the MTB can invite. 

    Another idea would be a tea type party with different teas and very light food. 
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  • So, I'm hosting a shower and I'm asking everyone to bring a dish and putting where the mother to be is registered. I'm sorry if this is tacky to everyone who posted earlier but every situation is different. I am hosting a shower for 50+ people and I'm sorry but I can't afford that and told the mother to be I wanted to do half of that. Her response was no one else offered in her huge family. So to those of you who said I should not host it then, is your suggestion to just tell the mother to be that I can't do 50 and I will no longer host her shower. And then no one has her shower?
    Zombie thread, but yes, this is absolutely tacky and not okay. You do offer to host the shower it you can't afford to provide refreshments, a location and entertainment. Every situation is different, but tacky is tacky. Don't host.
    TB is dead.




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  • I think it depends on the situation.  I was invited to a potluck shower one time, and the hostess was pregnant herself and had recently had a HUGE shower and had been really nitpicky about the food the hostesses served, and she invited over 80 people.  And then a few weeks later she throws a potluck shower?  Really?  So that was rude.  If it was a different situation I probably wouldn't mind.
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