Adoption

baby update and need your thoughts

well my birth mom went to the doctor today and ugg they did not check her cervix so i don't know if she has dilated further from a week ago Monday when they had to stop contractions. She said she has been having contractions all week but just mild one. they did a stress test and it was good and they did an ultrasound and  based on that she is about 61/2 pounds. and very active. 

I stuck with a tough decision. due date is aug. 8 they are stripping her membrane on Wednesday next week.so the baby could come next week or later. ugh when to do to Florida it is a 16 hour drive there. if we wait for contractions we might miss it since its the 5th pg for her. but if we leave sooner then we could end up sitting there for 2 weeks waiting for baby. she had this procedure with another child of hers and the baby came 2 days after it. so if we left wed. we would get there in time and relax a bit before going to the hospital. but if it doesn't happen in 2 days then we are sitting there wasting our maternity leave. grr so don't know what to do sorry kinda babled my thoughts any words of wisdom form your experiences would eb great

Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July

Re: baby update and need your thoughts

  • I had my membranes stripped on a Thursday at 4pm and woke up the next day in labor. I am not sure if this helps you too much cuz every pregnancy is different, but I thought I would give you what lil info I have.
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  • That's a great question for the 0-3 month board.  I see it asked over there all the time, regarding stripping membranes, and how long after labor arrived.  I do know that our DD was BM's sixth birth, and from the time her water broke to the time DD arrived was less than two hours, she barely made it to the hospital.  Other than that, I have no advice, but good luck!
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  • image**AmberF**:
    That's a great question for the 0-3 month board.  I see it asked over there all the time, regarding stripping membranes, and how long after labor arrived.  I do know that our DD was BM's sixth birth, and from the time her water broke to the time DD arrived was less than two hours, she barely made it to the hospital.  Other than that, I have no advice, but good luck!

     

     see 2 hour labor that's what I am afraid of. we will never make it in time. but like my dad said is it really that important you are in labor and delivery. to me being sentimental yes it is but is worth giving up a weeks worth or maternity leave no I don't think so. so it sucks my heart says one thing my head says another and my hubby well he never thinks with is heart he is the practical one.

    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  • We missed the birth of our DD because we were on our cruise.  Looking back, it sucks, but I'm fine with it, there are so many more moments I'm glad I didn't miss because I was home on maternity leave.  The first time she made eye contact while I was feeding her, the first time she smiled, and the first time she stopped fussing when mommy picked her up.  You'll have all those moments with your maternity leave, you won't want to waste a minute of it, since it will fly by WAY too fast. 
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  • I'd wait it out.  We were not at Quinn's birth and it was fine.  I don't feel slighted in the least.  If it were me, I would want every possible minute of my maternity leave to be with the baby.
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  • Friend had membranes stripped, she went into labour next night and water broke the day after that. 

    I would wait. Good luck! 

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  • We traveled before the baby was born and regretted it.  The few days we were in a hotel before the baby came were miserable.  We felt like we couldn't do anything (like go to a show or go exploring) because we didn't want to be too far from the hospital and she might go into labor.  We were bored out of our minds and so impatient, also because each day that went by meant a much more expensive trip. We started getting VERY nervous that the birth mom would go past her due date and we would just be wasting all of that time and money out there.

    When we got the call that she was in labor we were about 25 minutes from the hospital, and we STILL didn't make it.  This was baby number 8, and she was in labor for a total of 30 minutes.  So we went to all of that trouble and expense to ensure that we were there for the delivery, and it didn't even matter.  It was nice to get there moments after, but I don't know that it justified the time off work and all the money we spent.

    Then ICPC took much longer than we anticipated.  We were told that Nevada is very fast and it would likely be just 5 days, but no more than 10.  Ha.  It was 15 days, so including the four days we were there before birth, we were there for 19 days.  We were hemorrhaging money and going stir crazy. Thank GOD the birth mom only went one day past her due date.  We were sooo nervous about this.  If she had gone a week past her due date, we would have been in Las Vegas for a MONTH.  Imagine an entire month staying at a hotel, renting a car, and eating out every day.  Our 19 day trip to Vegas cost us more than our honeymoon to Hawaii, where we splurged on dining and hotels.

    Why are you driving from Illinois to Florida?  No way would I do that.  Instead of spending money on a hotel for possibly two weeks to be there before the birth, I would spend money to fly down there as soon as she goes into active labor (and be sure to find out that a doctor has confirmed it's active labor and not a false alarm!!).  

  • MrsD-  We are in similar situations....and it's driving me crazy.  Original due date was Aug 7th.  It's been moved up to July 27th.  It's the third delivery for BM and we'd love to  be there for it.  I don't know if we are going to just plan on being there by 7/27 or wait it out.

    It makes sense to wait it out but it's so hard to wait, isn't it?!

    image Best friends and sisters... 24 months and 16 months
  • We are driving because the place she is giving birth is in a peak travel area so everything is more expensive. my car gets 35 miles to the gallon so we can get there for less than 100 dollars. and back the same. Also  husband loves to drive he drove straight threw from tennessee 10 hours. rental cars for 2 weeks if it takes that long the area we are going for 500-1000 dollars I just checked flight for example lets just say she called today. I was unable to find an available flight for today and it would cost us 700 one way plus the car and tickets home. If we fly i can leave right away not have to wait for a flight or maybe even the next day if there are no flights. (i only checked one airlines) that is our reasoning for driving also those plane tickets are not including the cost of checked luggage fees.

    Our agency is getting us into the a Ronald Mcdonald house after the baby leaves the hospital (because the agency is 2 hours away so we have to go there) so all we have to worry about is a hotel room from the when we get there until she is released from the hospital.

    we also like that we can bring any luggage we want and not have to worrry if we over packed. if it fits int he car we can take it.,

    I appreciate all your thoughts we have to decided for now to wait till wed. and get more info from the doctor to see if we will leave at the end of the week or wait longer. we might wait for active labor before we leave. still have not decided.

    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  • Sorry it posted 3 times not sure what i did wrong

    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  •  

    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  • imagesilliestbunny:

    MrsD-  We are in similar situations....and it's driving me crazy.  Original due date was Aug 7th.  It's been moved up to July 27th.  It's the third delivery for BM and we'd love to  be there for it.  I don't know if we are going to just plan on being there by 7/27 or wait it out.

    It makes sense to wait it out but it's so hard to wait, isn't it?!

    sorry computer went nuts.

    yes it is so hard to wait my heart says one thing my head says another

    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  • I went early with my first (37 weeks).

    With DD #2 I had membranes stripped weekly starting at 36 weeks.  She took her own sweet time and arrived at 39 weeks.  According to my doc, stripping membranes doesn't affect you going into labor unless your body is already about to go into labor anyway.

    I would wait, and I would pay ANY amount of money to fly instead of drive.  It is all peachy that your DH drove straight to TN, but DUDE you are going to have a newborn with you.  You are going to be stopping constantly.  However long you think it will take to make the drive with a baby, add 50% to that.  Double it if the baby is colicky.

  • imagesuzymarie:

    I would wait, and I would pay ANY amount of money to fly instead of drive.  It is all peachy that your DH drove straight to TN, but DUDE you are going to have a newborn with you.  You are going to be stopping constantly.  However long you think it will take to make the drive with a baby, add 50% to that.  Double it if the baby is colicky.

    Yeah, this.  Friends of mine who live 4 hours away recently came to visit our town for the weekend... They have a baby now, and it took them *8* hours to get here because they had to stop so many times to change his diaper, feed him, etc.  He's not even colicky, just a slow eater.

    I know you'll save money driving, but do factor in that you'll probably have to spend at least one night somewhere en route, and that it's going to be a loooong drive...  GL!

  • Thanks everyone for all you advice. we appreciate it. we are still going to drive it. we realize it will take 2x as long to get home. but like I said we enjoy driving we plan to stop by family along the way and we like the flexiblity of beign able to drive and not worry if we can get a last minute flight or not.
    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  • Of the three patients whose membranes I have stripped (I'm a family medicine physician that did Ob during residency) they all went into labor the next day.  This is a n of 3 so not by any means scientific but if being there for your baby's delivery means a lot to you, you might want to plan on going to FL a day after the stripping....
    33 yo, DH with MFI Iui x4, Dec 2009 to Jan2011 all BFN.... IVF May 2011 BFP, mc June 2011 at 6.5 weeks, FET Oct 2011 BFP! Sweet baby girl born 25 June 2012** started adoption process Feb 2010, approved Oct 2010, failed match in delivery rooms Feb & Aug 2011... Birthmom called back 3d after we returned home. Aug 26 2011, our sweet baby boy comes home for good!!
  • imagemrsdrkwaver:
     

     see 2 hour labor that's what I am afraid of. we will never make it in time. but like my dad said is it really that important you are in labor and delivery. to me being sentimental yes it is but is worth giving up a weeks worth or maternity leave no I don't think so. so it sucks my heart says one thing my head says another and my hubby well he never thinks with is heart he is the practical one.

     

    This is how I think I would see things.  I had a friend that had preclampsia and spent two weeks of her leave on bed rest-- she said it was so hard to go back to work and wished that she could've spent every last minute with her daughter (on this side of the womb ;-)

    33 yo, DH with MFI Iui x4, Dec 2009 to Jan2011 all BFN.... IVF May 2011 BFP, mc June 2011 at 6.5 weeks, FET Oct 2011 BFP! Sweet baby girl born 25 June 2012** started adoption process Feb 2010, approved Oct 2010, failed match in delivery rooms Feb & Aug 2011... Birthmom called back 3d after we returned home. Aug 26 2011, our sweet baby boy comes home for good!!
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