Who is your (non-family) babysitter? (longish, looking for advice)

Amymarie13 · July 2010

I finally feel ready to branch out a bit and get DD used to a babysitter occasionally - so far it's only been family, but our family is all out-of-state, so we don't get out very often!

I am struggling with my options though, and wonder if I am being over-protective. But then again, I am putting DD's life in another person's hands

Option 1 is a just-turned 16yo., lives across the street, i have never met anyone in her household despite the fact that I know almost all of my neighbors and it's a very friendly street. i think her mom works (not home/outside alot) and from things the girl has said to me, she seems to have a good deal of freedom and is not very "supervised". I know she's 16, but I would be more comfy having her sit if i knew Mom was very involved in her daily life, and ready to help out in an emergency. (the girl doesn't drive)

Option 2 is a 21 yo. Met her once. She babysits the 2 kids across the street. I wasn't overly impressed with her personality, but my neighbor who uses her has used her several times and is comfy with her.I trust my neighbor's judgement, but all that being said, I don't know this person AT ALL - her family, where she lives, etc. I know NOTHING about who she is.

Option 3 is a 14 yo. Just getting into babysitting, zero experience. My DD can be a handful and doesn't talk a lot yet, so I feel like a 14 yo could have a pretty hard time with her if she got in one of her "moods". BUT, her parents are great, they live cattycorner from us, and I def. trust THEM. I like that I know where she comes from and see what her daily life is like.

WWYD? Esp with baby coming, I really want to get Isabela used to someone other than me, but I don;t love any of my options. Am I being paranoid?

Jenm0709 · July 2010

We use the 14 year old across the street from us. I like the fact that her Mom is usually home. I started out using her for just an hour or two when I had to run out. She's going to have her first longer spell with my boys tomorrow. The best part about using the 14 year old she is more invested in sitting right now than the 16 year old, who most likely has a busier social life, possibly driving, etc. You will be able to have the 14 year old for a longer time. You could start out by having her come over to play with your DD while you are home. Then slowly start leaving them alone. Good luck.

PrincessBear · July 2010

We use a 13 yo who lives across the street. I got hassled on here awhile back for using someone so young but mostly she comes over to play with DD on Saturday afternoons while we get some work done around the house. She has stayed alone with DD for a couple of hours here and there but mostly we are home. I am comfortable with her because I know her family, trust her, and I was babysitting at that age. I've seen her with DD in the times she has been here and I understand and trust her judgment. That is the most important thing, in my mind.

I would say to try all three in a setting where you are home and doing some stuff, or maybe run out for 30 minutes or so. I think you need to get to know all of these girls a little better. Especially the 14yo, if she likes babysitting, she will love to come over and play while you decide if it is a situation that will work for you. Plus, I have been looking for someone else a little older for times when we want to be out longer/later or when the neighbor is busy. You'll probably need more than one person down the road. GL!

ebb7 · July 2010

I would do option 2 or 3. We're using a non-family babysitter for the first time and she is a 13-year-old who lives 3 doors down. She has 3 (soon-to-be 4) younger siblings...2 of which are twins who just turned 3 so she's used to the toddler tantrums. I totally trust her mom and her family.

raya · July 2010

I'd go with the 21 year old. Even if her personality didn't dazzle you, that doesn't mean she's not more fun with kids. I'd stay home the first couple times she sits - just tell her you have stuff to do around the house, and sort of listen in every once in a while. You'll know based on that and whether your LO is excited to see her or not. I have a few sitters, and one of them doesn't have much personality with me, but Ds always asks for "more Allison" when she leaves. So I figure she must loosen up with him.

Also, have you considered posting a job on your local college/university's website? I found two of my sitters on the job board; they are both grad students in the child development department. I love that not only are they older and more responsible, but they will be working with children, so they genuinely like spending time with them! GL!

hj_1235 · July 2010

I personally probably wouldn't use any of them...but I'm in the same boat where only the grandparents have watched her.

If I had to pick one it I would probably use #2 with the info you provided. But your gut will tell you which one you like the most.

lite-bright · July 2010

We've left my DD1 with our 14-year-old girl-next-door while we went out to dinner or a movie (before we had DD2).

She took the Red Cross babysitting class. But more than that, I know her and her parents and am comfortable with them; her mom is an elementary school teacher, and they made a point to always be home when she babysat for us in case she needed anything. The first few times, we'd already put DD1 to bed and so it was really just having someone there in case the house caught fire or something. But even when it came to getting DD1 to bed, she handled it fine.

I was babysitting by that age and was trustworthy and levelheaded. I think it's possible. I wouldn't leave my infant with our neighbor girl at this point or ask her to sit for more than one kid, but she and my toddler do well together.

orange682 · July 2010

I think a 14 year old might be too young for long periods of time, but for a quick local movie or bite to eat (2 hours tops) she would be ok. Can you test her out as a mother's helper for a bit and she how she is with kids? That will help you gain trust in her, and let your LO get to know her.

I may even consider the 21 year old. I think I'd be more likely to trust the 21 year old then the 16 year old. At least the 21 year old has a reference who you trust. You really know NOTHING about the 16 year old.

ShanJosh777 · July 2010

I know you said non-family, but my little sister was 14 when DS was born and she has been my go-to babysitter since he was about 6 months. She took a babysitting class through the Red Cross so she learned CPR and all that. But honestly, I mostly felt comfortable with her because I knew she could always call my mom in case of emergency if I wasn't nearby. So I would probably go with the babysitter whose parents you feel comfortable with, even though she is a little young.

momtoRaegan041008 · July 2010

I would probably choose number 3. I started babysitting when I was in 6th grade and it was for some friend's of my family that had 2 younger boy's. I would probably let her know that you are interested, and ask her to come over for maybe an hour or so the first couple times. I would stay home with her and just clean or do things that you need to get done. Then when you are comfortable leaving, have her come over while you run to the store. The girl is probably just as scared as you are leaving your child, so just let her know where you can be reached. I think it's great that she lives so close so if she needed her parents they would be right there.

Pesky · July 2010

No offense but NONE sound like good options. I use the teachers and assistant teachers from my local daycare. Ask around for those who use a DC who works there that they might recommend for babysitting. We have been very fortunate to have a steady roster of sitters from daycare, all of whom know our kids and some of whom rarely babysit but will do so for us because they love our kids. It makes it a lot easier to head off knowing you have someone who (a) is not a HS kid and (b) is trained to handle kids and all kinds of emergencies.

stromtobe · July 2010

We have used a 20 something who was the assistant teacher in Dylan's old center and the 17 year old daughter of one of my co-workers. I feel like I knew both of them (or their families) pretty well before we had them over to sit.