The last couple of days people have been telling me to just enjoy being pregnant while I can because once the baby comes everything will change. I am so excited to be a new mom but I have been wondering what I'm in for. Especially in the first few weeks. What would everyone say has been the most difficult part of being a new mom? Any advice on what made it easier?
Re: Hardest part of being a new mom?
The first few weeks - sleep deprivation. I mean, I slept a lot, but never in one long stretch, which is what my body needed. I started pumping, and DH would do the 2 am feeding sometimes so I could get 4-5 hours of sleep at a time. Advice: sleep when the baby sleeps, pump and let someone else feed LO so you can sleep longer, and then just wait for LO to STTN (DD started at 5 weeks - yay!).
After that - it taking longer to get ready to go somewhere. You have to get yourself ready and a tiny little person ready, then strap them in their carseat, put them in the car, etc. It is a way-of-life change for me. We were so used to just leaving at the drop of a hat to go somewhere, and now we have to spend that extra time (not that I mind...it just takes longer).
Marriage: 12.18.04
DD1: 5.19.10
DD2: 4.11.12
This is my second but I was really thrown for a loop with my first. The sleep deprivation really got me. I didn't know that you timed feedings when they start, not when they end so I was up every three hours. my dd would eat for an hour, sometimes take a while to go back down and then be up again in an hour or two. Plus I felt like my life was over - I thought I'd never have sex again, never be able to have time to myself. I was pretty depressed and it was a really tough few months. Plus I always worried that I wasn't doing things "right".
My advice is to ask for help if you feel depressed, ask your SO for help - with the baby, housework, whatever you need and trust that you know what is best for your baby. One last thing - I didn't bond with my dd right away - it took 2-3 months so if you don't feel automatic love for your LO, don't worry - it will come.
I'd also like to note that things have been so much better the second time around!
Since we BF being baby's only supply of food was really hard and difficult. For the last 2 weeks though I've pumped 1 - 2 bottles a day for someone else to feed her. So I'm still at the demands of a BF baby, but pumping doesn't take as long and isn't as much work as putting her on the breast.
The crazy hormones did a number on me at first. I cried a lot and was actually starting to regret having a baby. It helped to talk to DH about it and I made sure to spend a lot of time just cuddling with LO when she was sleeping and content. It always felt so good to do that and just reinforced to me that I really did want this. That lasted for the first week or so only and things are so much better now.
I'd say the hardest part of the first few weeks is trying to heal from the birth and having so little sleep and so much to do. I lost a lot of blood during her birth which made doing things hard (I felt like I was going to pass out at target a week after she was born).
Relying on others for help made things easier. My SO was so helpful. I would also definitely do the frozen food thing; it helps a lot.
I think that it's really different for everyone. I adjusted relatively easily to the sleep deprivation and while I had some breastfeeding challenges, I had a lot of support to help me figure things out.
I think for mom's that have colicky babies, babies with AR, or babies with special needs, the challenges are obviously harder.
For me, it was (and continues to be) maintaining balance in my life. Every minute of my day is focused on my son and it was amazing how quickly I forgot to take time for myself and focus on my relationship with my partner, friends and family.
Breastfeeding. It is still a struggle and she is almost 8 weeks old, but we are still trying! I pump more often and feed her a bottle, but also like to breastfeed her a couple of times a day. BF is frustrating for me, which in turn makes the baby anxious. Keep at it and gets lots of support.
This. I didn't sleep a wink the first night, even when DS slept because I was paranoid he wouldn't wake up. I had to keep checking that he was breathing. We haven't put him in his crib yet because he still wakes every 2-3 hours, but I know that's going to be rough on me as well.
Also, breastfeeding was/is one of the hardest parts about being a new mom. It's getting better but I still give him a bottle every once in a while just to give the nipples a break!
What would everyone say has been the most difficult part of being a new mom?
For me, it was dealing with new huge boobs. I am just now getting comfortable with being this top heavy.
Any advice on what made it easier?
Easiest part of being a new mom, is having a supportive DH, having lots of help in addition to DH , and having a mellow baby.
Topher's 1 Year Old Chocolate Coma