Anybody here in their early 20's and pregnant?

maru0808 · July 2010

Hello ladies!

I am a married 24 year old woman and I am pregnant with our first child. Most of my friends are just starting to move in with their partners and kids are not part of their plan. We are the first in our group of friends to get married and the first to have a baby. Although we are very ready to bring a child to this world (financially and emotionally), I can't help but worry about loosing our friends.

Are you in a similar situation? Do you feel you are too young for this?

Stina4242 · July 2010

I am 25 so I guess I might not count as "early" 20s. My group of friends are different, I think we are just about the last to be married and have babies. We have been together the longest though- go figure.

I think you are only too young for it if you don't feel ready, if YOU feel ready who cares if your friends are ready or not.

Swan21 · July 2010

I am 22 tomorrow and we are expecting our first. I feel ready for this as we planned it. However, my DH and most of our friends are a little bit older, our entire group is marrried and half of them are having children already.

ebeemcg · July 2010

I'm 22, will be 23 when LO arrives, and no, I don't feel too young. Most of our friends are older (late 20s, early 30s) and already have kids.

holagal · July 2010

I am 23, newly married and we are expecting our first. We have a couple friends that are expecting or either have children, but the majority aren't married and don't plan on it for a while. I sometimes think that we are too young. That somehow we are missing out on the "drunken" fun our friends are having. Then I come back to reality and remind myself that this baby is way more meaningful than anything I would be missing. It is sad that some friends won't be there, but the good ones will.

maru0808 · July 2010

holagal:
I am 23, newly married and we are expecting our first. We have a couple friends that are expecting or either have children, but the majority aren't married and don't plan on it for a while. I sometimes think that we are too young. That somehow we are missing out on the "drunken" fun our friends are having. Then I come back to reality and remind myself that this baby is way more meaningful than anything I would be missing. It is sad that some friends won't be there, but the good ones will.

Exactly what I feel. I am over the moon excited and we have everybody's support, including our single childless friends. Thanks for the response.

Lantaria · July 2010

I am 25, this is my 4th baby. We had our first child at 21. We were ready to have a baby. We lost a few friends, but we found some better ones.

We did everything early. We got married at 19, purchased our home at 20 and started our family at 21. It works for us. We will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary this year!

AmandaS1017 · July 2010

Maru,

I can relate. I got married last year at 21, and just turned 22 and am pregnant with our first. While we are ready to be parents and we were ready to get married, we are the first of our friends to do this and I can tell it freaks some of them out. One of my DH's friends still lives with his parents! So it's been mixed reactions from our friends.

kcisthebombdotcom · July 2010

I'm 27, so not exactly in my early 20s. I was 26 when I got pregnant. However, I live in an area where the cost of living is fairly high, so most people don't have kids until they're in their 30s. None of my closest friends are even married and dont have kids. A few friends do have kids, but the majority are childless and single.

Unfortunately, you will find that you will grow apart from some of your friends that aren't in the same place in life as you are. I can't say I'm not friends with my childless friends anymore, but we dont hang out as much as we used to pre-baby. I also find that since my life seems to revolve around the baby, we have less to talk about. Its all part of growing up, unfortunately.

maru0808 · July 2010

Stina4242:
I am 25 so I guess I might not count as "early" 20s. My group of friends are different, I think we are just about the last to be married and have babies. We have been together the longest though- go figure.
I think you are only too young for it if you don't feel ready, if YOU feel ready who cares if your friends are ready or not.

Haha I should have said: Anybody in their early/mid 20's? I am almost a mid-twenty gal myself. I can see that when your friends are married and have children already, you don't feel you are loosing what you had in common with them, because now you will have more in common with them. The fact that you have friends with children helps a lot (trust me), you have lots of things to talk about with them because your life will be all about your baby. In my case, I dont want to bore them with baby talk. So it makes a difference. Im happy for you!! GL with your pregnancy.

maru0808 · July 2010

Lantaria:
I am 25, this is my 4th baby. We had our first child at 21. We were ready to have a baby. We lost a few friends, but we found some better ones.

We did everything early. We got married at 19, purchased our home at 20 and started our family at 21. It works for us. We will celebrate our 6th wedding anniversary this year!

Wow! Congrats! You managed to keep it together even though you were young. Thumbs up for you

liladelphia215 · July 2010

I am 24 and got married 2 months ago on May 15th. Most of my friends started having kids at 17-19. None were married. A lot of them are still immature, but for some the babies made them grow up. However, most of these girls can't live without the support of their parents now. We are married, own a home, two dogs, and can provide a stable life for the child. Although we weren't going to start TTC for a year (I ovulated 2 weeks late, hence our surprise blessing), we both feel like we were ready and able to care for a child.

Tz's_Bride_2B · July 2010

I am 25 and this will be our first. About 1/2 of our friends have children while the other half are yet to be married but this is where we are at in our lives and couldn't be more excited. MH and I are fortunate that all of our friends have stayed really close through all the children, marriages, etc... Don't worry all friendships take there course. Plus, you'll be gaining lots of friends from mommy groups, schools functions, etc.

maru0808 · July 2010

AmandaS1017:
Maru,
I can relate. I got married last year at 21, and just turned 22 and am pregnant with our first. While we are ready to be parents and we were ready to get married, we are the first of our friends to do this and I can tell it freaks some of them out. One of my DH's friends still lives with his parents! So it's been mixed reactions from our friends.

Same here! I have friends a little older that still live at home with their parents. Those are the most freaked out ones. Thanks for the response!

Rhapsody527 · July 2010

I'm 24, have been married almost 3 years, and we are expecting our 2nd. We are the only couple in our group of friends that is married and starting a family already. Sometimes it's a little tough, because we can't go out all the time and go on trips with our friends like we used to, but my beautiful little girl reminds me every day that we wouldn't have it any other way!

akemrose · July 2010

Hi Maru,

I'm 21 almost 22. I have been married for over three years. I miscarried about 2 years ago, and we are pregnant again. It's finally happening and we could not be more excited. We aren't your average people in there early 20's. We bought our first house at age 19 and have had stable jobs since high school. We have gained and lost friends over the years but the ones that stick around are truly the only ones that deserve to be part of your life.

Good luck with everything, and i'm sure you will make an awesome mother!

DanielleLee86 · July 2010

I am 23. I always wanted to start my family young. By the time you reach 30 you are at more risk... and I feel like I want to be done having children at that age. To each their own.

AmandaS1017 · July 2010

DanielleLee86:
I am 23. I always wanted to start my family young. By the time you reach 30 you are at more risk... and I feel like I want to be done having children at that age. To each their own.

Same here. I've always wanted kids young, also my husband is a little older than me, and he wanted to have kids before he reached 30, he's 26 now.

sbuxsweetie · July 2010

I'm 24 and will be 25 when our (first) LO is born. I don't feel too young at all. DH and I have been married almost 5 years (yes, we were babies!) and we have already been through a lot together. We completed all of our pre-baby goals (I finished my degree, we bought a house and a family friendly car, etc) and I am very comfortable with our decision to become parents.

catriona lieder · July 2010

Hi!

I am also 24, married and expecting my first LO. I couldn't agree with you more, i have already had friends stop inviting me places because i am preggo. Those same "Friends" have also asked if i am scared to get "fat" and have commented on me "showing", i'm still a size 2 and everything fits fine

At first i was so upset and thought OMG i'm an outcast and i'm not going to be one of them anymore. Now i know i want to be ME and i dont care what they have to say, it's me DH and this baby against the world, thats all that matters now.

I suppose what i am trying to say is leave the "jealous bitches" behind, the ones who still live at home, work at the mall and then party all weekend still deciding if they want to finish college

Everyone in this group is selfless, we have all chosen a very difficult but rewarding task to bring new life into this world. Be proud of yourselves and hold your head up and stick your bump out!!

mrk517 · July 2010

I am 23, and have been married for 2 years. We just found out we are pregnant with our first child! A lot of my friends back home are married and/or have kids already. But where we live now, more of them are single or without kids. They are all great though and would hope that we wouldn't lose any of them. They know we were trying for a while so they are all happy for us.

maru0808 · July 2010

catriona lieder:
Hi!
I am also 24, married and expecting my first LO. I couldn't agree with you more, i have already had friends stop inviting me places because i am preggo. Those same "Friends" have also asked if i am scared to get "fat" and have commented on me "showing", i'm still a size 2 and everything fits fine
At first i was so upset and thought OMG i'm an outcast and i'm not going to be one of them anymore. Now i know i want to be ME and i dont care what they have to say, it's me DH and this baby against the world, thats all that matters now.
I suppose what i am trying to say is leave the "jealous bitches" behind, the ones who still live at home, work at the mall and then party all weekend still deciding if they want to finish college
Everyone in this group is selfless, we have all chosen a very difficult but rewarding task to bring new life into this world. Be proud of yourselves and hold your head up and stick your bump out!!

HAHAHA You made me laugh. Thanks for the positive support and yes, that is exactly what we are doing: ignoring the ones who have no clue about life and look at your like you are crazy. We went thru it 2 years ago when we got married, and now we are going thru it again. Of course my DH, my baby and me are the most important things in this world. And the friends who dont want to be part of it, too bad! bye bye and good luck.

JCragg · July 2010

I'm 25, we were married just over 3 years ago, and most of my friends/colleges are older (30-40) and have kids, a few are younger most are older kids so for us it?s kind of weird. I have a few good friends with young ones (under 2). Will be great when we need a babysitter though J

autumnbride07 · July 2010

I was 25 when I had my first baby and none of my friends "my age" have children. Two of my best friends actually don't know if they will have children. I have some older friends that I hang out with that have children my sons age. You won't lose friends when you have a baby if they are real friends. Everyone is ready for babies in their own time.

stacyslo · July 2010

I'm 27 (okay, so late-20's) and the first to be expecting a child in my close group of friends. I'm a little worried too, especially since we don't know a lot of people in the city we live in. But like KC13 put it, its part of life and I'm really hoping to make new friends through this process!

Buckets of Moonbeams · July 2010

I'm 24, but I think of myself as mid-20s. I was only 21 when I got pregnant with K (already married, though!) and THAT was early-twenties. I felt way too young with K, but this time feels right.

jolynn326 · July 2010

I am 24, and we got married 2 1/2 months ago. We were actually one of the last in our large and varied group of friends to get married. We'll be one of the first to have kiddos, but I don't think that our friends will have a hard time accepting that. And, our friendships are changing already just since being married because we had to move an hour away.

I'm sure things will be different, but I welcome that. And, I definitely don't feel too young or like I'm "missing out." To be honest, I feel like some of our friends are missing out on the joys of having a little one on the way!

luckybride1128 · July 2010

I'm 23, but my situation might be a little different because my DH is 9 years older than me. All of the friends we have that were his friends first are either married or have children. None of my friends are married or have kids. So I do feel like an outcast a bit with my girlfriends. But we are in a totally different spot. I finished college earlier than all of them, got married, and my DH has owned our house for five years. So I know we're ready, and one day their time will come too Domt feel discouraged! It feels like you and YH are completely ready for your LO!

maru0808 · July 2010

Thanks everybody for your responses! It is obviously a change, a life change and EVERYTHING changes, including your friends. But like many of you said, when you are ready, you are ready. It feels right for us (we planned this baby) so we are very excited regardless of the bad or good changes this might bring. I just wished more friends had kids so my kid can play with someone! haha

CutieBean79 · July 2010

I just turned 26. 1-2 years ago, I would have been saying the same thing you are. But now, most of our friends are pg or are trying. I even feel young sometimes, I think it's natural.

alatham · July 2010

I'm 24 and pregnant with my second. I was the first of any of my friends to get married, and the first to have a child. Some of them are handling it differently than others, but I really don't care. No matter what, DD and DH come before anything. I never felt I was too young at all during the process of getting married or having a baby. It was what DH and I both wanted.

Sometimes it irritates me that my friends don't understand that I can't just get up and go out and do whatever they want to and come home at 2am wasted. I have to remind them that theres a baby at home. Then they go, oh yeah...its annoying, but whatever.

tkamp182 · July 2010

I am 21 and have been married since I was 19 and this is our first baby. We were the first in our group of friends to get married and the first to have a baby so I understand what you are feeling. I am not worried about losing our friends because they are all supportive and have already been coming up with activities we can do with the baby and even if we want to hang out without the baby I know Grandma and Grandpa would love to watch them. Me and my husband are both very excited and nothing can get me down for the next 7 months... I am 8 weeks tomorrow.

RumbleLina · July 2010

I am 22 and will be 23 by the time LO comes in February but I do not feel too young. My DH(26) and I were the first to get married and buy a house in our many groups of friends and we will be the first to have children.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't concerned I would lose some friends but there is nothing I can do about it since I know it is going to happen. It is a true test to who your real friends are (as stupid as that sounds).

danigirl9 · July 2010

Im 22 and will be 23 once LO is here and DH is 26 and we are very ready. Most of our friends are around 25, 26 and our really good friends are actually pregnant with their 2nd child. We still have friends that are together but children are not in their future and it hasn't harmed our friendship at all they are so excited for us.

MrsNiner · July 2010

I am 22 and engaged, but we don't plan on getting married for quite some time. I always knew I wanted to have children earlier in life. All of our friends are married, but not wanting to have kids right now. They all plan on waiting another year or two. Whereas us, we wanted the children... then the marriage! Backwards, I know!

mklove1984 · July 2010

I'm 25 and pregnant with my first. I do have friends that are pregnant or have children but they live in different cities/states. I, however, live in a college town so most of my friends are either younger than me and unmarried or older than me and unmarried. Luckily DH and I have become close to another couple that is also expecting and we're looking forward to meeting others through church once the baby comes.

TofuMama7 · July 2010

I am 25 and completely understand what you're talking about. My DH and I got married when we were both 22, bought our house at 23 and are now expecting our first child. We are SO excited and feel completely ready, but most of our friends from high school and college are still single, or dating with no plans to get married/start families any time soon. Our friends are all happy for us, we got a lot of "Finally!" comments, but I can't help but wonder if we'll get left out when our LO comes.

thuckabee · July 2010

I am 23, and expecting my first. However, i've been married for 3 years and we just bought our first house! We are way ahead of any of our friends, our age at least. We do have some older friends that are married and some with children. We also have 4 family members that just had their first kids in the past year. Im glad our baby will be able to grow up with its cousins

Our families all married young and had kids young and most are still together. Its just what works for us

Good luck!

Ber16 · July 2010

That's exactly how I've felt my whole life. I think it's also in part because my mom was young when she had me, only 24, and was done by the time she was 30. I think it really just depends on the couple. I'm 22 and pregnant, and though I'm ready for a baby, my boyfriend really isn't. So it really does just depend

AshleyGC2009 · July 2010

Im 24 and am on my 2nd child my first DD is 17 months and the most adorable lil thing ever! My DH and I are hopong for a boy but we will take whatever we get! and yes i lost almost all my friends but i did find better ones!

KMJEllis · July 2010

I am 23 and pregnant with my 3rd. Had my DD at 18 and my DS at 22. DH and I have been together for 9 years now and been married for almost 5.

I lost touch with all of my friends and now they are starting to have children and get married themselves so we talk a little more now.

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