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inamra
member
Dont wanna go back to work =(
inamra
member
My maternity leave is over in less than a month and I really can't believe it's coming to an end already. When I was working, I thought that it was great to get 3 months off. Now after having the baby, 3 months feels way too short! He's still so young! Does/did anyone else feel like this? I'm totally connected at the hips with LO--I don't think I can bear being away from him and work 40hr weeks. I kinda wanna discuss this with my work and see if they're willing to let me work pt or remotely, but I feel irresponsible for not realizing how hard it would be earlier and discussing this with them *before* going on leave. Not sure how to approach them about this...
I remember reading some of you ladies' posts about going back to work and how hard it was being away from your LO. How long did it take for you to adjust?
I remember reading some of you ladies' posts about going back to work and how hard it was being away from your LO. How long did it take for you to adjust?
Sept 2008 Wedding | May 2010 & Mar 2012 Babies
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Re: Dont wanna go back to work =(
I feel the same way. I'm lucky enough to get a bit over 6 months off and I thought that would be tons of time - now I can't believe it's already halfway over! I don't want to leave them at a daycare (even though the ones we've applied to are nice) - I want to be with them.
I never thought I'd want to be a SAHM (and we definitely can't afford it), but I can see the allure...
I was ready to go back at 6 months, but I sure would have loved a few more months off! It gets FUN at 3-4 months and so it was like a big vacation! I had play dates, lunches, music classes, yoga, the works. We had a ball!
The adjustment back to work was tough, mainly because I was not getting any sleep and so I got sick. But once she started STTN, and I adjusted to the rushed pace of getting home, washing bottles, feeding her dinner, bath, getting her into bed...
Now it's fine. And I realized that my job is pretty flexible and I really enjoy working. So... There is a rough adjustment period, but it does get better!!!
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
I went back as soon as Jack was 12 weeks old. I didn't explore the possibility of extending that time at all because I wanted to preserve my job since I do really like it.
The weeks leading up to it were the hardest. I was mostly sad that Jack would be confused and wonder where I went. I can't really say how he felt one way or the other, but he lights up when I got home (or now that he's at daycare when I come to pick him up) and he is still a content, happy baby.
I know what you mean though - he was so small and needy (still is) at 12 weeks so I really felt sad about leaving him.
I loved caring for him and being with him and wouldn't exchange that for anything, but at the same time I really feel good about being back to the mental challenge, adult conversations, and I guess responsibility of my job because I really take pride in the work that I do. I am 100% in tune with Jack when I'm around, have complete confidence in his daycare center, and feel needed at work so I think it's a great balance and by working I am able to provide Jack with a lot of opportunities that he would not otherwise have.
Not sure if I am really making sense...
My mom was a working mother (and a single mother for the first 5 years of my life) and I don't ever feel like I missed out. She still made time for field trips, and we spent quality time together during the time she wasn't working and that is the balance I am striving for.
I actually felt ready to go back to work at 6 wks. I think part of me just wanted to do something besides care for a baby 24/7. I did not go back to work until 12 weeks...and even though I felt the way I did at 6 weeks, it was really hard for me to go back. The first day I went back, I was crying and DH had to pry her from my arms and tell me to leave before I was going to be late! I thought about her all day, called to check on her several times, etc. but it gets easier and easier and now I still sometimes wish I wasn't leaving her in the mornings when I do but I am ok with it. She does light up every time I come home from work and it is the best feeling in the world....plus I only work part time so I can't complain and think I have a nice balance. Part of me feels like I'd really enjoy being a SAHM but the other part of me thinks it's good for me to go work and be part of the adult world at least a little bit.
To answer your question about how long it takes to adjust... I think it probably depends on how much you are working...but since I was working part time I think it only took me about 2 wks before I started to feel more ok w/leaving her. I still worry that I will miss something big while I am gone but so far I have been able to be there for all her big milestones
Jaime & Brent
Oahu, Hawaii | Sept. 9, 2005
My Food Blog - Good Eats 'n Sweet Treats
I agree with this... the weeks leading up to going back were hard on me emotionally, I would cry myself to sleep! DH thought I was crazy but it was hard for me. I NEVER wanted to be a SAHM until I saw Bella for the first time... being a mother changes a person!
That said, there is an adjustment period... I think it took about a month for me to get in the swing of things and feel like I was comfortable being a mom full time and full time employee... it's hard work! At the same time, it was GREAT to talk to other adults and have conversations about adult things. I work with an amazing group of people and I feel like that made it a lot easier too. I'm also STILL pumping so for the time that I've been away from her, it allows me to still feel connected to her. I also printed off some wallet size pics of her that I wear behind my work badge, it gives me a fix
I update them every couple of months.
I also agree that by working I'm able to provide Bella with opportunities she wouldn't otherwise have. She gets to socialize with other kids her age and let me tell you, she LOVES it!! She gets so excited to see the other kids that she squeels with joy. She giggles and has a great time with them... she's a social butterfly for sure! She gets to paint, eat with other kids, watch them do things so she learns from that, and the other day, she got to tye-dye! How much fun is that?!
By working, I have a great appreciation for the time that I do have with her. I lay on the floor and play with her, we play in bed on the mornings that I'm off. We talk, we sing, we giggle... I'm not disconnected from her when I'm around. I teach her things and help her learn and grow.
Work is a nice "break" if you will... I have friends that are SAHM and are not connected when they are with their kids and that bothers me, why be a SAHM if you don't like it or you don't want to be with your kids? Working allows me to be an adult, a career woman, a wife and a mother! If I could, of course I would like to work PT but it's not in the cards for us...
I will tell you that it gets easier.
As always, Sarah has a wonderful way with words. I agree 100% with everything she said. :-)
What has made my adjustment back to work easier is knowing how much Alexa LOVES playing with the other kids at daycare. Just yesterday when I dropped her off, she immediately crawled over to another baby and they started playing peek-a-boo and giggling at themselves. It was the cutest thing!
Working also does make me appreciate the time I have with her more. Like if I know she has 30 minutes until dinner-bath-sleep, I want to play with her or take her on a walk instead of doing dishes or other chores that can wait. You know?
Also... I take tons of pictures on my digital camera and bring the camera with me to work every day. When I pump, I watch the videos of her and look at the photos.
One last thing....... Seeing her when I come home from work or pick her up at daycare is the BEST THING EVER!!! She totally lights up, gets a HUGE smile on her face, crawls straight to me and reaches her arms up to me!! When I pick her up, she squeels in delight, bounces up and down and claps her hands. She is just SO EXCITED to see me that it gets me every time. Any frustrations of the day are immediately melted. :-)
Malia & Dave & Alexa
Happily married since 2-17-08! Three since 9-9-09!
Baby Blog
Oh I love this! It gave me goose bumps. Malia, I can totally picture Alexa in my head doing a "happy mama's home dance"... That's SWEET!! Bella is in bed when I get home (I work 12 hour shifts and her bedtime is 45 mins before I walk in the door). I do go in and peak at her and as with Malia, any frustrations melt away when I look at her tiny little body
TTC/PG Blog | Mommy Blog
Thanks for sharing all your experiences and thoughts, ladies!
This...
and this are very good ideas! I'm glad to hear that it helps so much too!
I thought about it some more and I feel like I definitely can't go suddenly to working full time in the office for 40 hour weeks. Super props to those of you who have and I wish I could do it (I originally planned to do so), but I just can't bring myself to do it anymore. I'd prefer to transition into it with part-time at first or something...I sent an e-mail to the boss early today but I haven't heard back from him yet. I'll see how it goes...
I do want to work, just not so soon! Like lots of you mentioned, I want to also have conversations with other adults. I also don't want my career/skill sets to just go away. I do enjoy the type of work that I do and I would miss it...but I just can't tear myself away from my baby yet!