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Did you open LO's gifts at the birthday party?
DD will be turing 1 on Friday! I just can't believe it! We are having a party on Saturday and I put 3-5 on the invite so I am hoping all will be gone by 6. Anyhow, I have a huge family and they ALL live in town...not to mention play group friends and close friends and DH's family. The guest list was about 60 but thankfully only about 35 are coming...and then about 15 didn't RSVP so I am planning for 40. That is A LOT of gifts for a 1 year old to have to sit and open and I do not want to sit there and open them for her because she will certainly get bored after 2 or 3 and want to do something else! I want to spend time with her and not have someone else holding her while I sit and open gifts. My mom got all bent out of shape today and told me 'it is so rude when people don't open gifts. So and So didn't do it at their party and I just don't like that. They should open them so people can see the child's recations!'
I haven't been to a birthday recently when gifts where opened. I told her I may just do the Grandparent gifts and call it a night. She didn't really say anything after that. She is so opinionated sometimes and it drives me insane. She often will try to tell me what she thinks I should do. Now that she has said that, I will feel guilty not opening gifts and if I have to sit there and do it while someone else is with the child I GAVE BIRTH TO, I will be pissed. I may just have to piss my mother off. She will survive. I think she will be happy if I just do her gift.
Sorry, I didn't intend to vent. LOL But do tell what you have done or seen at other parties.
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Re: Did you open LO's gifts at the birthday party?
We opened gifts, but it was on and off and very casual. We had buffet style food and seating around the house. Our house has a pretty open layout so everyone was in ear shot. DD opened a few gifts toward the beginning, some while people were getting their food, while people ate, etc. At one point, my aunt and uncle were siting together in a separate area and DD opened her gift in close proximity to them (but others weren't forced to sit and watch with nothing else to do - however could follow that way or turn their seats if interested)
What do you like at parties? Typically, I enjoy watching little kids get stuff and seeing their reactions. But if your DC gets worn out or uninterested, take a break. I just mostly followed her lead and had no real plan in mind.
Thank goodness for that!
For DS's first Christmas and his Baptism, we did a few gifts but, mostly, he wanted to play so I let him play and do what he wanted. He'll get the hang of opening his own gifts when he's ready and all that.
And yes, I send thank yous!
Ugh. That is so stuffy. Why? Who decided "current etiquette?"
To me, it seems greedy, impersonal, and selfish to take a bunch of wrapped presents, hoard them up, and stash them away, only to open in secrecy. Like, 'Thanks for bringing me my deserved loot. When you leave, I will pick through it in privacy so I can display my honest feelings of approval or disapproval."
I am all for etiquette in plenty of settings, but if collect-my-goodies-and-bolt is proper etiquette for gift receiving, it can kiss it. JMO
and we did some of this.
My ILs were in town and gave DD a lot of gifts - we did their later that evening and the next morning (yes, too many gifts). And we did a small gift from my parents on her actual birthday, when they came over to visit her.
We open gifts after the cake is served to the birthday kid, while it is being passed out to the guests, if it's a first, if the child is older, they get there cake after presents. (Does that make sense?) I recently went to a 1st birthday party where they opened the gifts first (literally, there was like 30 of them), and passed out cake after, and that was awful.
I like seeing what the child gets, especially at that age, and I like my gift being acknowledged.
No, we had about 40 guests, and many of them had babies/toddlers, so opening all of those gifts wouldn't have worked at her party. She opened two or three from the "older" kids (the 3 and 4 year olds) so they could see her reaction. It was sweet; they helped her open their gifts, and they were thrilled.
We wanted a two hour party, as it was before nap time for DD, and many of her little friends, and opening all of the gifts would have easily added an hour to the party. She opened a few gifts as grandparents presented them to her, because they gave her a lot, but most of the guests just put them on a table when they came in, and that's where they stayed. And yes, of course I sent out thank you cards right away. ;-)
So not true.
I have always had DD open her gifts at her parties. I have two parties for her - one with friends (last b-day was 5 kids) and one with family (5 couples) so the amount of gifts she has to open is reasonable. I have only been to one kids birthday party in which they didn't open gifts and there were so many people there (probably 60+) that it just wasn't realistic to do so.
We wanted a two hour party- and it needed to be around her nap etc.
Her 1st bday we did NOT open gifts- she was tired and was a tad overwhelmed at everything. People trying to hold her, the cake, etc.
So I say honestly- listen to your child and how she/he is and play it by ear.
her 2nd bday was a lot easier and she WANTED to open gifts- so we did open them then.
No. I actually did plan to, as I didn't think so many people would come (very few RSVPd), but between eating lunch & doing cake, many had to leave (lunch & cake took about 2 + hours with all the visiting) and actually noone but the ILs seemed to expect him to do so. We tried to do a few, and he got through maybe 2 with us doing most of the unwrapping but he was so overtired, his cousins were being loud and when he tried to move away from them he fell and got his first big "owie" (we still haven't done his real 1st year photo because of it! lol). We opened the big one left from the ILs and waited for the rest.
We took pictures (& some video) of him opening each gift - we will put them on CD or print them for each person. We had lots of gifts from OOT family anyhow, so we planned on taking pics to send as it was. I think it was more fun for him to do 1 - 2 a day for the week than to rip through them all. When he is older, it will be a different story. For now, this worked. I figure we will put together a birthday recap letter & in it put a little paragraph about all the wonderful gifts he received because everyone wants to know and we will include the note in the thank yous.
If you feel the need to appease your Mom, I would let your LO open 1 gift from each grandparent or invite them to come back sometime the next week. Otherwise, I would just take a picture of him opening or with each gift and send it to the giver. Family can make things so much harder than neccessary! GL!
I found the place where I first heard this.... It was in Real Simple Magazine:
Should Children Open Gifts in Front of Guests?Real Simple?s Modern Manners columnist answers a reader question.by Julie RottenbergQ. Should a child open presents at his or her birthday party or wait until everyone has gone home?Reagan Kaufman
Cheyenne, Wyoming
A. I feel strongly that no gifts should be opened at any party, regardless of the age of the guest of honor. When little kids are in attendance, they?re going to go bonkers?wanting their own Zhu Zhu Pet or Lego set and feeling badly if the present they brought isn?t well received. And if that?s not reason enough, delaying gift opening teaches the birthday kid to focus on the fun of the party itself?not the loot she?s going to bag. As for adults, I stand by my no-opening-gifts-in-public policy (that goes not just for birthdays but showers and anniversary parties, too). It?s a bore to watch someone else open presents, and it?s just as agonizing for the recipient, who has to ooh and aah at the right decibel over and over again. And then there?s always someone who is going to feel self-conscious about what she brought once she sees everyone else?s offerings. Who needs it? A personalized thank-you note will tell the gift giver everything she needs to know.
Read more of Julie?s answers to your etiquette conundrums.
Reagan Kaufman
Cheyenne, Wyoming
A. I feel strongly that no gifts should be opened at any party, regardless of the age of the guest of honor. When little kids are in attendance, they?re going to go bonkers?wanting their own Zhu Zhu Pet or Lego set and feeling badly if the present they brought isn?t well received. And if that?s not reason enough, delaying gift opening teaches the birthday kid to focus on the fun of the party itself?not the loot she?s going to bag. As for adults, I stand by my no-opening-gifts-in-public policy (that goes not just for birthdays but showers and anniversary parties, too). It?s a bore to watch someone else open presents, and it?s just as agonizing for the recipient, who has to ooh and aah at the right decibel over and over again. And then there?s always someone who is going to feel self-conscious about what she brought once she sees everyone else?s offerings. Who needs it? A personalized thank-you note will tell the gift giver everything she needs to know.