Posting Newbie and a little bit scared

SheElf · July 2010

Hi all,

So I just started posting and kind of feel let down. I made a few errors (being new to thread-posting) and honestly feel made fun of. My educational language is French, not English and because of that I sometimes make spelling errors. I usually use a spell-checker but that's not 100% accurate. A fair number of posters saw that and jumped on it. Am I just being over-sensitive.

I've also read a few posts and see that it's fairly common for groups of posters to mock another poster if thaey feel something about the poster is wrong (TTC to young, comments about God).

I thought this was going to be a safe place to learn and grow but now I'm not so sure.

I'm not trying to offend, just wondering if I'm reading too much into things .

~Cody

batesae · July 2010

Don't feel bad, you had the courage to reach out and post in english even though it is not your first language. And I am sure you have figured out english is a difficult language and pretty dumb with some rules it has.

Also some people just do not think that english is not someone's first language. Also we are all female and have crazy hormones and they are not good to us at times.

I am a newbie and kind of nervous too.... reading on some other threads, all the women seem knowledgable and very close and I really do not know what I am doing.... I just figured out how to put a ticker on my sig.

-April

Brandibaby28 · July 2010

DO NOT FEEL BAD!!! They can be mean. I asked what they called a "stupid question" on the "trying to get pregnant" board. I got tore into. I have not posted there since. It's not you. Good Luck!!

SheElf · July 2010

Thanks April!! It helps to know people under stand. Though I guess I should explain that English is my first language, just not my educational one (Parents got the bright idea to place me in French school despite not speaking the language themselves. Homework was a nightmare) And if it helps, I just figured how to place the tickers today myself lol.

We can just stick together

~Cody

SheElf · July 2010

Thanks Brandibaby!!!

Sleep2Live · July 2010

Yeah, I've noticed there are certain people that band together and are just NASTY to other people. Ignore them, they suck.

momoftwinsplusone · July 2010

welcome and goodluck! Hope to see you on the TTC board!

lboers · July 2010

please don't be nervous. plain and simple: there are bitches on here that have nothing better to do with their time than find some "newbie" to pick on. they'll gang up on you and try to make you quit. don't let them win. and this "newbie" status thing is bullshit. i've said it before and i'll say it again, if you are a "platinum", "gold" or even "silver" poster, it usually means you have nothing else to do but post on thebump all day long. it does not mean you know more, or that your opinions are more valid, or that you've even been here longer. it doesn't mean anything more than you post a lot.

thebump is actually pretty supportive overall, if you ask the right people. my suggestion? find a board that is more specific to what you are asking about. the trimester boards are a constant bitchfest. after finding out that my baby may have special needs, i went to the Special Needs board and actually found people that were supportive and knew exactly what i was going through.

good luck on here !

muttpups · July 2010

Welcome! I agree that it's supposed to be a supportive place to go and ask questions no matter: how many times it's been asked, if you've googled it or not, and if it's a "stupid' question or not. Everyone is excited/anxious/etc about ttc and we all want good feedback. You're not being overly-sensitive. We're all human and should be allowed to make grammatical/spelling errors, for goodness sakes. Some people just take it too far and well, what everyone else said on here! haha Sometimes I like to lurk on the other boards to recharge before I go back to TTGP

GL!

cjterranova · July 2010

Yay for being brave enough to even come on these boards and YAY for calling out rude people

I am new as well and some posts do make me nervous as well but this should be a place where there really is no such thing as a stupid question. There are a lot of nice and friendly people as well, so don't let some people turn you away~ you have just as much right to be here as anyone else, regardless of "newbie" status!

dana129 · July 2010

There will always be negative bitches around.. ignore them. It sucks... but most women are really nice and helpful.

good luck and hope to see you on the TTC board!!!

Cj714 · July 2010

I'm new as well, and I'm glad there are others that are hesitant (its not just me that feels really, really new!!)

Sweets11 · July 2010

I find this entire post interesting.

So now that you've all decided to come here, mock the regs and call the women on other boards b*tches, where exactly are you going to post? Are you planning on posting here forever?

You won't change the nature of The Bump by complaining about it. It is a great place for information and to meet others who are going through the same thing you are. It is honest (and very blunt sometimes). It is not a support group.

AOYAS · July 2010

I'm new to The Bump, too, but in my short time here, I've definitely noticed the overt cattiness of some posters...especially a number of "regulars" on the TTGP board. I don't know if it's that they're bitter because some of them are taking so long to get pregnant, or if it's because they're bored and have nothing better to do than prove their obnoxiousness on message boards all day long....maybe both?? I've noticed that the degree of b*tchiness of many posters is directly correlated with the amount of time they've spent TTC and/or the number of posts they've made. Some of the "regulars" on the TTGP board have evidently been trying for a year or more to get pregnant, without success. Some have so much time on their hands that they've made thousands (!!!) of posts. Clearly, some of these unfortunate women have reason(s) to be bitter, which they apparently take as license to act like bratty teenagers, since the boards are public and *anonymous*.

I would suggest just ignoring them. As a PP mentioned, just because someone has been TTC for longer than someone else, or she's made 10,000 posts on a message board, certainly doesn't make her more of an "expert" regarding TTC. Some women don't understand this fundmental concept. It's kind of pathetic, but they obviously enjoy their threatening, aggressive, b*itchy attitudes. Oh well.

Take comfort in the fact that you aren't part of the lowest common denominator. Go ahead and ask your questions in whatever language you'd like. If people are willing to help you, they will. Despite the disproportionate number of jerks on these boards, there seem to be many women who are truly here to be supportive and informative. Otherwise, just ignore the garbage. This is stressful enough time for most of us. Who wants to deal with crappy attitudes from anonymous strangers?

FWIW, I've done A LOT of research on TTC, and if I know the answer to any of your questions, I'll answer honestly...sans attitude. Big Smile

Good luck!

AOYAS · July 2010

Sweets11:

I find this entire post interesting.

So now that you've all decided to come here, mock the regs and call the women on other boards b*tches, where exactly are you going to post? Are you planning on posting here forever?

You won't change the nature of The Bump by complaining about it. It is a great place for information and to meet others who are going through the same thing you are. It is honest (and very blunt sometimes). It is not a support group.

Case in point.

Sweets11 · July 2010

AOYAS:
Sweets11:

I find this entire post interesting.

So now that you've all decided to come here, mock the regs and call the women on other boards b*tches, where exactly are you going to post? Are you planning on posting here forever?

You won't change the nature of The Bump by complaining about it. It is a great place for information and to meet others who are going through the same thing you are. It is honest (and very blunt sometimes). It is not a support group.

Case in point.

I love when people call me bitter. Classy. I genuinely hope you get pregnant right away so you don't have to be a bitter infertile woman like me Hmm .

I don't understand why you would waste your time posting on a board that you have so much obvious disdain for.

Yes, the 'snarkiness' can get out of control sometimes, but complaining about it isn't going to stop it. That was my point.

KdgTeacher · July 2010

FWIW, I think there ARE stupid questions that are asked over and over and over and over and over again. If you stick around long enough I'd be willing to bet you'd get sick of them as well and have a few...catty remarks for the person posting. That is where part of the "snarkiness" comes from. If you lurk (that means read lot of posts before YOU start posting) you'll find a great deal of information and can usually find the answer to your question without having to ask it AGAIN. Does that make sense??

For example, I'm sure you would agree that coming on an internet message board and asking a bunch of people if you are pregnant would qualify as a "stupid question". Can we answer a question like "Is it ok for me to drink during the 2WW?" Of course we can. However, if we JUST answered that question 3 times before then the answers you get may not be the nicest, but again if you answered the same question over and over and over and over again you'd get a little short from time to time too.

On another note AY..the whole "bitter card" is a low blow and I think with that you put yourself in the same category you're calling other women out in.

KdgTeacher · July 2010

So AOYAS, I was reading through some posts you've made and found this little gem to be quite interesting. You posted on TTGP (a board you specificaly called out) and got NOTHING but support and made this comment

-->

Wow, thank you all so much for the support and suggestions. I wasn't sure if I was overreacting to the situation before I posted, but now I see that my reaction is in tune with what everyone else's reaction would be.

Good luck to everyone!

Yet now we're all b*tchy and rude? INTERESTING.

nayelib83 · July 2010

OK I know people are hormonal, emotional, friustrated, BUT WOW!!!!!!!! Im new here and Ive noticed ALOT of th eladies on here ARE really rude. Sorry NEW people arent proffessional "Lurkers". I really thought I had found a place where I can talk to people just like me. A mom, a woman with questions (be they "stupid" or not), sometimes scared, or in need of someone to talk to.

People just need to stop being so catty. If a post is "stupid" then just lurk and move on. Why post something mean?

Well I guess by posting this I might be recieving some nasty replies too then. I guess we'll see.

mchupie · July 2010

AOYAS:

I'm new to The Bump, too, but in my short time here, I've definitely noticed the overt cattiness of some posters...especially a number of "regulars" on the TTGP board. I don't know if it's that they're bitter because some of them are taking so long to get pregnant, or if it's because they're bored and have nothing better to do than prove their obnoxiousness on message boards all day long....maybe both?? I've noticed that the degree of b*tchiness of many posters is directly correlated with the amount of time they've spent TTC and/or the number of posts they've made. Some of the "regulars" on the TTGP board have evidently been trying for a year or more to get pregnant, without success. Some have so much time on their hands that they've made thousands (!!!) of posts. Clearly, some of these unfortunate women have reason(s) to be bitter, which they apparently take as license to act like bratty teenagers, since the boards are public and *anonymous*.

I'm sorry, but these statements are just awful.

While I'm not defending these ladies and agree that some tend to go overboard with the snark, you are proving yourself to be no better by your heartless judgments.

I hope and pray you never have to experience infertility.

JennyAnne022776 · July 2010

mchupie:
AOYAS:

I'm new to The Bump, too, but in my short time here, I've definitely noticed the overt cattiness of some posters...especially a number of "regulars" on the TTGP board. I don't know if it's that they're bitter because some of them are taking so long to get pregnant, or if it's because they're bored and have nothing better to do than prove their obnoxiousness on message boards all day long....maybe both?? I've noticed that the degree of b*tchiness of many posters is directly correlated with the amount of time they've spent TTC and/or the number of posts they've made. Some of the "regulars" on the TTGP board have evidently been trying for a year or more to get pregnant, without success. Some have so much time on their hands that they've made thousands (!!!) of posts. Clearly, some of these unfortunate women have reason(s) to be bitter, which they apparently take as license to act like bratty teenagers, since the boards are public and *anonymous*.

I'm sorry, but these statements are just awful.

While I'm not defending these ladies and agree that some tend to go overboard with the snark, you are proving yourself to be no better by your heartless judgments.

I hope and pray you never have to experience infertility.

You've got it mchup! She's a pretty awful, nasty person all around. And she's getting the big stink-eye from me. Methinks she has been around these parts in some other way, shape, or form.

The good news is that since she thinks TTGP is so awful, hopefully we won't have to see much of her!

cantalopes24 · July 2010

Brandibaby28:
DO NOT FEEL BAD!!! They can be mean. I asked what they called a "stupid question" on the "trying to get pregnant" board. I got tore into. I have not posted there since. It's not you. Good Luck!!

Thats a lie, you totally post on TTGP.

cantalopes24 · July 2010

AOYAS:

I'm new to The Bump, too, but in my short time here, I've definitely noticed the overt cattiness of some posters...especially a number of "regulars" on the TTGP board. I don't know if it's that they're bitter because some of them are taking so long to get pregnant, or if it's because they're bored and have nothing better to do than prove their obnoxiousness on message boards all day long....maybe both?? I've noticed that the degree of b*tchiness of many posters is directly correlated with the amount of time they've spent TTC and/or the number of posts they've made. Some of the "regulars" on the TTGP board have evidently been trying for a year or more to get pregnant, without success. Some have so much time on their hands that they've made thousands (!!!) of posts. Clearly, some of these unfortunate women have reason(s) to be bitter, which they apparently take as license to act like bratty teenagers, since the boards are public and *anonymous*.

I would suggest just ignoring them. As a PP mentioned, just because someone has been TTC for longer than someone else, or she's made 10,000 posts on a message board, certainly doesn't make her more of an "expert" regarding TTC. Some women don't understand this fundmental concept. It's kind of pathetic, but they obviously enjoy their threatening, aggressive, b*itchy attitudes. Oh well.

Take comfort in the fact that you aren't part of the lowest common denominator. Go ahead and ask your questions in whatever language you'd like. If people are willing to help you, they will. Despite the disproportionate number of jerks on these boards, there seem to be many women who are truly here to be supportive and informative. Otherwise, just ignore the garbage. This is stressful enough time for most of us. Who wants to deal with crappy attitudes from anonymous strangers?

FWIW, I've done A LOT of research on TTC, and if I know the answer to any of your questions, I'll answer honestly...sans attitude.

Good luck!

You of all people have no room to talk about being nasty. And if you look at post count most of the "mean" flaming over nothing is from NEW PEOPLE.

LadyXaverian · July 2010

JennyAnne022776 · July 2010

Brandibaby28:
DO NOT FEEL BAD!!! They can be mean. I asked what they called a "stupid question" on the "trying to get pregnant" board. I got tore into. I have not posted there since. It's not you. Good Luck!!

Wow, really?

I'm sure this isn't you...

...and probably not this either.

THIS definitely doesn't look like the same screen name. Hmm

And isn't today the 14th?

Seriously, you don't even lie well.

DDDsareme · July 2010

JennyAnne022776:
Brandibaby28:
DO NOT FEEL BAD!!! They can be mean. I asked what they called a "stupid question" on the "trying to get pregnant" board. I got tore into. I have not posted there since. It's not you. Good Luck!!
Wow, really?
I'm sure this isn't you...
...and probably not this either.
THIS definitely doesn't look like the same screen name.
And isn't today the 14th?
Seriously, you don't even lie well.

Oh shnap Brandi! You dropped these:

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