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NBR: Wedding shower question

sillybiochemistsillybiochemist
in North Dakota Babies

I became friends with this girl because she was the daughter of my husband's manager at work.  We're friends but she's not someone I keep in very good contact with (it goes both ways) but not that close.  She's getting married next month in Florida (DW only family) and having a reception in Wisconsin two weeks later.  We're not invited to the AHR, which honestly didn't surprise me.

I am invited to a wedding shower for her (Pampered Chef) that's this Thursday.  Which kind of surprised me because we weren't invited to the AHR.  So I'm trying to decide if I'm obligated to give her a gift.  Mainly the reason I could be on the "buy her something" side of things is because her parents gave us a wedding gift (they came to the AHR) and her mom is on the list for my baby shower in Aug.  Honestly I'm better friends with her mom than her.

Any thoughts?  

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Re: NBR: Wedding shower question

  • Buttercup29Buttercup29
    That's a toughie - can you just send a small gift as a congrats and call it a day?
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers imageYet another blog
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  • natalee215natalee215
    I think since you weren't invited to the AHR, you shouldn't have been invited to the shower.  It seems a bit gift grabby to me.  I honestly don't know that I would send a gift for that reason.  (Then again, I may just be b*tchy these days.)
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  • MmeBPMmeBP

    imageAlaskanAlison:
    I agree with Natalee...I think it sounds like she's just trying to get more gifts. If it were me I probably would just send a card, especially if it's someone I'm not close to. But if you felt like being generous you could send something very small and call it a day.

    this! 

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  • AshleysredAshleysred

    imagenatalee215:
    I think since you weren't invited to the AHR, you shouldn't have been invited to the shower.  It seems a bit gift grabby to me.  I honestly don't know that I would send a gift for that reason.  (Then again, I may just be b*tchy these days.)

    This. 

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  • CanadianBride84CanadianBride84 member

    Back in April DH step brother got married.  We were not invited to the wedding (which I was shocked about since we invited them to our wedding and AHR.  He came to the AHR, she was to come but had to work and it was his step mom that told us she wasn't coming the night of our AHR).  I am still a little bitter.  However, I got invited to the shower.  It was hosted by my step MIL, but I had to work, and I figured since we were not invited to the wedding I wasn't going to send anything. 

    So my thought is don't bother worrying about sending something.  You two are not that close, so she likely won't even notice.

    A & T Since 2009 Parents of A born July 2010
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  • Ms.Beachbum08Ms.Beachbum08

    I thought that etiquette said that if you are not invited to the wedding then you don't invite them to the shower?

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  • Eleise96Eleise96

    imagenatalee215:
    I think since you weren't invited to the AHR, you shouldn't have been invited to the shower.  It seems a bit gift grabby to me.  I honestly don't know that I would send a gift for that reason.  (Then again, I may just be b*tchy these days.)

    This!  How rude! 

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  • sillybiochemistsillybiochemist
    imageEleise96:

    imagenatalee215:
    I think since you weren't invited to the AHR, you shouldn't have been invited to the shower.  It seems a bit gift grabby to me.  I honestly don't know that I would send a gift for that reason.  (Then again, I may just be b*tchy these days.)

    This!  How rude! 

    Honestly this was my first reaction because I thought it wasn't normal to invite someone to a shower if you didn't invite them to the AHR.  Then again I'm not 100% sure who made out the guest list (whether it's her, her mom, or the co-host that is a good friend of mine).  So I think I'm going to go the conservative route, and buy something small (easier said than done but possible) and buy a few things for myself (one for my BIL) which actually boosts her "goodies" with a Pampered Chef party.  You get credit for how much in total sales you do for the party so she will be able to pick up extra goodies after the "party" is over.  DH didn't think much about it being a problem I was invited until I explained it to him, which in part made me second guess the not buying her anything.  For some reason girls are more commonly "schooled" in etiquette than th guys are.   Thanks girls!

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