So disappointed today — The Bump
Adoption

So disappointed today

Today would have been my due date.  On FB I keep reading all the women complaining about being pregnant (and I'm sure it is no fun in July) and I just keep thinking that should be me.  I'd give anything to be in their shoes.  Heck, I DID give everything to be in their shoes and still got nothing.

I feel like we have traded the uncertainty of IF in for the uncertainty of adoption.  I'm feeling like we are a million years away from a baby.  And I'm also feeling sad for the baby we lost.  I know there are so many of you who have had more losses than me and know this all way better than I do.

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Re: So disappointed today

  • I am so, so sorry. These milestones and anniversaries suck. Esp. when life and babies seem to happen to everyone else, while you just get to be sad and lost.

    And it doesn't matter if you have had one loss or twenty; one is too much sometimes to bear.

    :::hugs:::

  • I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are sad today! :( I have not had a miscarriage so I don't know how you feel there but going through infertility I do know what you mean about people complaining about being pregnant. It's super annoying when you would give anything to be in their shoes!!!

    I hope your day gets better and that you get good news on the adoption front VERY soon! :)

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  • I know what you are feeling. I've had 6 losses and DH and I started with our fertility specialist in 2007.  While there is fear and some uncertainty with adoption, I feel more hope with adoption. Everyone has always told me that we will get our baby with adoption, it's just a matter of when. I can not say that about a bio baby. At this point, it is quite evident that the chances are very, very, slim.  I just get my hope from the fact that with adoption, it really is a matter of time.
    After years of Infertility treatments & 6 Miscarriages, we moved on to Domestic Infant Adoption to reach our dream.

    First meeting with attorney: February 5, 2010

    Matched w/ Birth Parents: August 2010

    On October 2, 2010 our son was born.

    "I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him." Samuel 1:27

    [IMG]http://i40.tinypic.com/214cmr5.jpg[/IMG]
  • I am so sorry :( I haven't ever had a m/c but I have had the loss of several babies.. and due dates are really hard, especially when you have people due the same time to make it all so much harder.

    HUGS.. 

    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • amm78amm78 member

    The baby I recently lost would have been due this month, too... and the baby I lost the year before would have been due last July.  So, I feel your pain. :(  I also know what it's like to see lots of pregnancies and babies all around me.  It really sucks, but I try to keep in mind that it just wasn't in the plan for me.

     

    Hang in there!


  • I'm so sorry.  I totally get it and it's not a fun boat to be on.  Althought I've unsubscribed a million times, I keep getting formula and diaper emails that keep telling me how many months old my baby is.  It always sucks.  Sad

    As far as complaining friends, I hear ya too.  All of my friends are amazing and have been so supportive of us.  However, three of them are pregnant at the moment and complaining about everything.  On the 4th...after several drinks....and them complaining about how it's not any fun when everyone else is drinking...I kind of snapped that I had no sympathy for them and didn't want to hear it.  There was a bit of an akward silence for a minute...but there has been a LOT less complaining about their pregnancies lately. 

    I'm thinkin about you today.  I know it's not easy - but we're here for you. 

    ::HUGS::

  • So sorry I know it all sucks but remember the only uncertanty with adoption is when. You know it will happen with adoption you just don't know your due date. Chin up and your dream will happen.
    Proud Momma of our daughter Charlie! She found her forever home August 2010 Hope to be the proud momma of #2 in July
  • So sorry you're having a rough day. I can't empathize with a pregnancy loss but I understand about the friends and pregnancy. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking about you and that I hope your day gets better.
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  • I am so, so sorry. 

    Just remind yourself that adoption, unlike IF treatment, absolutely will result in you bringing a baby home.  It definitely is a roller coaster, but as long as you can get home study approved, it's a matter of WHEN you bring your baby home, not IF.  This is what I told my mom when she questioned my buying baby stuff before we were even matched.

    I can't imagine how hard today is for you.  Take the time you need to grieve, but also remind yourself that with adoption, you WILL bring home your baby!!

  • I just sent you a PM.
  • Lots and lots of hugs...I'm sorry.
    <a target="_blank" title="http://wendy-steve-andg3.blogspot.com/" href="http://wendy-steve-andg3.blogspot.com/">Our Adoption Blog</a>
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  • I am so sorry your feeling sad today.. It took me years to get over our one loss.. But I felt to like adoption had an end, it would lead to something. Hope you can do something fun today and feel better!
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    TTC since 2005
    missed miscarriage nov 2006- 4 failed clomid cycles-
    3 failed femara iui cycles-
    moving on to IVF oct 2011
    ER nov. 7th
    tansfered 2 blasts on 11/10
    lots of +hpt!!
    beta #1 on 11/21= 50.4
    beta #2 on11/23= 90.8
    another miscarriage 12/23
    moving on to Round 2 of IVF with an auto immune dx
    ER 4/23-retrieved 12 eggs
    ET 4/28 3 transfered
    Beta #1- 356
    Beta #2- 870

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  • imageAlicia_22:

    I just wanted to say I'm sorry you are sad today! :( I have not had a miscarriage so I don't know how you feel there but going through infertility I do know what you mean about people complaining about being pregnant. It's super annoying when you would give anything to be in their shoes!!!

    I hope your day gets better and that you get good news on the adoption front VERY soon! :)

    This. 

    Beginning Adoption Process July 2010 sarahssarcasm.blogspot.com Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • ((Hugs)) I completely understand and it's hard! I haven't had a miscarriage but I have two sister in-laws pregnant and due one week apart in September. I'm feeling very left out especially being the oldest and feeling like that should be me. But, we will all have our babies through adoption some day. Hang in there!
    [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/zml24l.jpg[/IMG]







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  • imageGo_Dawgs:

    I am so, so sorry. 

    Just remind yourself that adoption, unlike IF treatment, absolutely will result in you bringing a baby home.  It definitely is a roller coaster, but as long as you can get home study approved, it's a matter of WHEN you bring your baby home, not IF.  This is what I told my mom when she questioned my buying baby stuff before we were even matched.

    I can't imagine how hard today is for you.  Take the time you need to grieve, but also remind yourself that with adoption, you WILL bring home your baby!!

    This is my new mantra. Thank you for it!

  • c1311c1311 member

    I can feel your pain.  If I hadn't had a miscarriage in November I'd be due in July too.  It sucks.  Some days I have many of the same feelings you have about feeling so far away from a baby.  Every Friday I remind myself that I'm one week closer to getting that baby.  You are too.

     Take care. 

  • I've never had a m/c so I do not know what it's like to come around to a due date. But my DH and I have been dealing with IF for almost 5 yrs and everyday is a struggle for us.

    We came to adoption in 2008 with renewed hopes, knowing that adoption leads to a baby. That was until our adoption agency treated us like crap and made us feel like we were nothing. After 18 long months with them, not even being in their pool of waiting couples, we went back to TTC and trying to nurse our wounds. Adoption has been tuggin on our hearts though. So we've decided maybe to take a safer route and try adopting through foster care.

    Everyday I am uncertain of "if" we'll get a baby. I feel like I cannot trust anyone! I'm glad there are people out there to lean on, those who know how it feels. 

    I'm sending huge hugs to you and hoping that your road to a family will not take extremely long. : )

  • I'm so sorry. I truly wish I had the words to make it better somehow. 
    Our Girls
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    AquinnahDori
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • I'm so sorry.  I've been through 2 misscarriages and I still have difficulty dealing with them (even the one I had 5 years ago), to add on top of that having been through IF treatments, I know your heart must be heavy right now.  You're in my thoughts and prayers.
               image      image      image
    image
  • I'm so sorry.  I had 2 very early losses and is was devastating.  Adoption did give me hope because it is not a matter of if, but when.  I also agree with you about the complaints I hear from pregnant women. I'm sure it's hard especially in the heat, but I would've given anything to go through that.

    I hope your wait is very short.

    Amy
    Proud Mommy to Ben
    You didn't grow in my tummy, but in my heart!!

    [IMG]http://i50.tinypic.com/zirrz6.jpg[/IMG]

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  • I'm so sorry for your loss!  I haven't ever had a miscarriage, but the last month we cycled, several people in our circle got pregnant that month.  Now, they are all finding out what they are having and talking about their pregnancies and yes, complaining and it's beyond difficult! 

    I've also struggled with the same feelings about adoption recently, I think sometimes we just have to fight to hang on to hope!  Thinking of you. 

    TTC #1 since 12/07 SA 9/08=borderline normal HSG 1/09 found R tube blocked Multiple IUIs both with oral and injectible drugs from 2/09-2/11 Started domestic adoption process in 5/10, homestudy complete 9/10 Failed adoption after home with baby for 2 weeks 11/10 Blessed through the miracle of private adoption with a son, born 6/6/11 (his grandma's bday) 7lbs 9oz 20.5 inches long! So worth the wait!
  • Lots and lots of ((((HUGS))) your way.
    After 7 years of marriage and 5 unsuccessful IVFs, we have been granted the gift of adopting a baby boy, born 4/21/11.
    image
  • I'm so sorry for your loss :( I had a MC many years before DH and I even were TTC and then suffered 6  miserable years of IF. I do know that adoption seems so uncertain, but this time last year I felt the same way as our birthmother was preparing to give birth to our daughter. Tonite, I baked cookies for my DD's first birthday party and one year ago nothing was certain! One thing for sure is that my DD was so meant to be ours and had I gotten PG again, this precious gift we received might not have been home with us today.

    Have faith and hope and I pray all will turn out well for you! ((HUGS))

    WHAT'S IN MY CAMERA BAG: Canon 40D, 50 mm 1.8 prime and not much else yet! Learning to edit with PSE 8 AND LR 3. My real name isn't Tiffany, and I'm a photography newbie! Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic
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