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Parenting
Hooray2005
member
How are you not the parent you thought you'd be?
Hooray2005
member
in Parenting
I never thought I'd have the TV on constantly (PBS) so I can get stuff done around the house. I also thought somehow I'd have lots of energy and interest in playing and "doing" things, but I'm lazier than I thought I would be - lol 
There are more.... lots more, but curious what others say 
This discussion has been closed.
Re: How are you not the parent you thought you'd be?
I thought playing w/ DD would be fun, we would play dolls, dress up, barbies. umm ya not that fun. yes I play w/ her, but I would rather do arts/crafts, and play games w. her then w/. her toys.
ETA ~ I said I would not have the TV on a lot, ya that doesn't happen. The TV is always on.
DD 1/29/07 -
I didn't really have any expectations. Jackson was unplanned, and I kind of thought my life was over when I found out I was pregnant.
I expected I would love him and be a good parent, but other than that, I had no real thoughts about it. Most of my thoughts were centered around survival.
how's that for cheery?!?!
Ok, here's something that I expected after I had him - I expected I would be the hardass parent. I'm so not. I coddle the sh*t out of him. I have expectations and he behaves, but MH is way harder on him than I am. And I get in the middle of it, because I think he's too hard on him, which is something I said I'd NEVER do.
Not to toot my own horn...but toot toot, I am a much better parent than I thought I would be. This is mosty because I love my children to death and adore being a mother. Before I got pregnant (DS was an oops) I was indifferent about having kids, lived very selfishly and pictured DH and I very happy without having them. I never thought I would revel in motherhood as much as I do. It sounds super ghey - but it made me feel "complete."
I'm pretty much way more awesome than I thought I'd be.
just kidding..I am not nearly as relaxed as I thought I'd be. I'm working on it though.
I didn't think I'd be relaxed, because I'd never been relaxed about anything else in my life ever (total type A/overachiever/worry wort), but since having Ben I've been a much more mellow parent than I thought I'd be. With Kate, not so much, but two kids has been good for me. I've had to, and been able to, let so many things go.
On the not so good side, I never knew I was a yeller. I really never yelled at anyone in my life pre-kids (usually pretty shy), but gosh, sometimes I lose it on Kate. That bums me out and I'm working on it.
Not that I'm a model parent (gavin is glued to 2 hours worth of spongebob right now) but I'm way better at it than I thought I'd be in regards to patience, feeding them, doing activities, etc.
I never thought I wanted kids but those goofy bastards are about the best thing I've got going*.
*no, my children aren't really bastards, it's a movie quote.
Oh yeah, a positive one - I'm surprised by how much I like it and how much I like being a SAHM.
I mean, in theory, it seemed like a good idea, but I definitely had reservations. But I love being a mom and specifically being Jackson's mom. I like a lot of what we do together; I love our relationship. I never expected to like/love it this much.
The idea of it changing and him going to school every day makes me sad. I never ever thought I'd feel that way.
I actually had ridiculously low expectations for the kind of parent I'd be before having kids, and I've actually stepped up way more than I ever imagined... never thought I'd think twice about the tv being on all the time/video games/etc., and suddenly I'm the mom whose kids don't usually watch more than a 1/2 hour of tv a day (this, coming from the girl who would easily watch a Real Housewives of NJ marathon over just about anything else- I LOVE tv.)
I never thought I'd be able to manage a child with special needs, either. Yet I'm doing it (just barely some days, but still!) Having DD#2 has actually made me a WAY better mom... more patient, more goofy, more resourceful, more giving... just more everything.
I'm more of a yeller than I ever thought I would be. I blame my mother, since that's how she raised us. I just thought I would be better about it. I am working on it though.
It just breaks my heart when I see my DS's reaction to a raised voice.
I never thought that I would be such a paranoid freak about her weight, or when she is sick, etc. I've gotten a lot better but that first 18 months...I'm pretty surprised my dh or my mom didn't fight to have my committed.
I always thought I would need to work, because I had dd when I was older than expected and I have always loved working. Truth is I would gve my right arm to stay home with her.
Yup.
Christmas 2011
This is kind of me (us), too. I actually think that since Rory has always been sort of mature for her age, that people expect more from her than should be expected of a four year old, especially my husband. But then, I go back and forth because I don't want to make excuses for her.
I think that's part of it for me, too - he's so big that people often think he's 5 now and he's still 3 (not for long, but this has been going on since the fall). And he's very verbal now, much more so than he was a year or so ago and I think MH treats him like he's a few years older.
Although, recently I've been noticing that he tries to manipulate me when he's in trouble with daddy. I don't want to encourage that anymore than I agree w/ my husband on what we should expect! ugh.
A bit of this. But, honestly, I'm feel like I'm just chosing not to over parent my kids and will sit back and just enjoy cuddling or watching a movie with them vs. trying to make every waking moment educational.
Yes! Same here. Acutally, I really noticed it at daycare because there were other kids there the same exact age as her, but they were being expected to do much less. At the same time, I expect her to do her best and do what she IS capable of, so...
And Rory does the same thing with me. If dad says no, she comes to me. If she wants something and thinks dad will say no, she comes to me, even if it means she has to come all the way downstairs to do it. In those cases, I just say, "You have to talk to your dad." and don't let it go any further. She pouts, but whatever. If J and I disagree on that particular thing, we can talk about it later when she's not around and go from there.
That's been my method recently, too - ask your dad, talk to him, or whatever. And I try not to say "he's ONLY THREE!!!" LOL.
MH is much quicker with the time out than I am, too, but I think that is more because I am home with him all day and if I was as quick with it, I'd spend the whole day battling w/ him. I'm choosier about my battles.
I never expected to feel anger toward my own child. But when DS1 hurts (intentionally) DS2, I feel almost enraged. This shocks me.
I have also not embraced my lifetime role of head chef. I cook the same things over and over and I truly thought that I'd get more into cooking with kids. So far, I am less into cooking than I was before. Perhaps it is the time commitment it takes to prepare more detailed dishes.
I am way more concerned about safety than I thought I would be. Compared to my friends, I am pretty chill, but I see danger everywhere, I project it. This is surprising to me too.
I expected to enjoy my kids' infancies a lot more than I did. I got socked with raging PPD after each birth, didn't acknowledge it, and did things like scream at my babies to shut up. :-( I am coming out the other side, but babyhood was horribly harder than I thought it would be.
I also thought they would watch less TV and I would be more crafty with them, but up until April our living situation was so f*ed up. We've done more fun stuff as a family in the last 3 months than we have in the last 2 years before that combined.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
OMG, I am SUCH a meddler when DH parents. I fully expect him to turn around and tell me to shut the eff up one day when I jump in and tell him what to do. I wish I would stop it. It's almost like a reflex thing and the words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.
The yelling and temper stuff are things I feared but hoped wouldn't ever be directed toward my child. Fail.
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
This is mine too. DD1 was unplanned and I didn't even really like kids, so I was really nervous. I hadn't even held a baby until they put her in my arms. I was surprised how naturally parenting came and how much I love being a mother. Then I was afraid to quit my job but I LOOOVE being a SAHM now.
OK, that sounded cheesy.
I also thought I'd love it when DD1 got bigger and we could play dolls/pretend/etc. I bought her a big ass dollhouse and everything. Yeah, it's not that fun. Maybe when she's like 5 or 6.
I said I wouldnt let a child stop me and DH from going out 2x a month...we've had about 3 dates since he was born. My mom just isn't into babysitting (unless we're paying her), my sister is too busy, and my dad has told us he just can't handle LO.
I also said no tv until 2...we made it until last week when we went out of town and he was getting up at an ungodly early hour and I didnt want him waking the rest of the house.
Lastly, I said I would take my baby everywhere with me (errands, etc) and I rarely even leave the house with him...I schedule my errands around when DH is home. I think thats the laziest thing I do, but I honestly hate lugging around the big diaper bag, getting him in/out of carseat, his whining to be held instead of riding in the cart, etc etc.