- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
South Florida Babies
? re deciding to TTC for #2...
When/how did you come to decision to TTC for baby #2 (or 3...)????? How far apart in ages are your children? Is having 2 kids that much different than just one (it's not like you have time for yourself anyway, right? LOL).
DH and I had talked about waiting at least till LO was one to even think about this... we definitely want to have more than one child, but... just one is a lot of work, I can't imagine 2! LOL
I don't want to wait too too long cause I'll be 39 this year, but I'm thinking that it will probably be best if LO is at least 2 when we have another baby. I think even if I was a SAHM I would have this dilemma - though it does make it worse that I work about 50 hours a week and DH works crazy hours (and isn't home to help).
Warning
No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ? re deciding to TTC for #2...
Go for it now! : ) Join me already. LOL
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
LMAO! No way girl! Maybe towards the end of this year - we'll see. It's just that Hunter is so incredibly yummy that I can't imagine sharing my time... You'll see when your boys get here - I can't wait to meet them!
For me I didn't really plan to have #2. I had a little bit of an oops right after my DD turned 1. When my son was born my DD was 19 months so she was still "my baby". I had alot of these freak out moments of what if I don't love him as much? how will I deal with 2? how do you afford 2 in daycare? and the list goes on....
And in the beginnng it was rough (but I had some DH issues that were alot more dramafilled than any 2 little ones) to kind of get a routine down. It took me a couple of months to find my groove and then it was smooth sailing. I love having them close together and actually they are great friends now. They do most everything together.
Good luck..
Konstantino
Maximo
FOLLOW ME ON PINTEREST https://pinterest.com/raffaella1030/
Liz - my sisters are 19 mo apart too, and they are very close now. Since I am significantly older than them, I never had that bond, but they did/do. They were always playing w/ each other, went to school together, and now share everything! Glad your kids have that too.
Doris - I'm sure it will be hard, and you want to enjoy Hunter to the fullest, but honestly, I'm already thinking of #3! Nuts, I know. LOL I'm sure that will change when the boys arrive. Since we don't know what the future holds for us TTC-wise, I'd like to start earlier rather than later, but that's just me. : )
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
Jackie, I worry that this little one will be left out and then I will want another to be its friend.. LOL I know that just because they are close in age doesnt mean that they will be close. My brother and me are 18 months apart and my mom says we were never as close as my kids are with each other. We are closer now but as kids we didn't really even want to play together. Mine always want to be with each other.
Thinking of #3 is pretty brave w/twins, but I am sure you will be a pro at multi-tasking by then...going from 2 to 3 should not be that hard. They say going from 1 to 2 is more of an adjustment. Btw...Do twins run in your family? I always think it is so awesome when people are expecting twins. They do run in both DH and my side...so it could happen for us too.
Konstantino
Maximo
FOLLOW ME ON PINTEREST https://pinterest.com/raffaella1030/
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013
Estas loca! I want to hear what you say when they arrive... It took me forever to get pg before (4 1/2 years, but I really think that was mostly mental and a story for another post, lol). I need to start getting into that mind frame I suppose and stop whining about how hard it will be :-) It's all worth it when Hunter hugs me and flashes that big ole smile...
We decided based on how close we wanted our kids in age. We wanted them about two years apart and it took a few months to get pregnant; they are 2 years, 4 months, 1 day apart.
When we TTC I had a lot of second thoughts because Noah still seemed so little and baby-like to me. But the amount he changed/matured in those 9 months was immeasurable. I was glad we didn't wait any longer... especially now. Now that Kate is older and can play, they are amazing together! They adore each other, they're into the same things, they are the best play mates for one another and - of course - they love to torture each other at times too.
I didn't feel like going from one to two was too bad. We knew what we were doing, we were so much laid back, and it seemed so much easier. We weren't out numbered and when things got rough or stressful we each had a kid to deal with. We are not venturing into the world of 3 so I can't help you there but it's totally manageable. I do have to admit my DH is super hands on and if he weren't I may have a different tale to tell. I can't imagine having even one with your schedule but everyone is used to something different and everything always works out. You definitely have a lot less time to yourself and really appreciate what life was like when there was only one but it's a small price to pay. We still get a good amount of time alone but it's a lot harder recruiting friends and family to watch two then it was one. We pay for sitters a lot more now.
#1 was a complete surprise for us and thought he would be one and only for a few years (I was 22) but he was a such an easy kid, that we decided to TTC again when Seb was about 11 months old.
It took us a few months, and the boys are 2 years and a few weeks appart. They are awesome together. Honestly. They don't know what life was before the other was born and cry when they are not together. Seeing my boys together, play together, laugh and even fight is the best thing in the world. so much so that we decided to stat trying for baby #3 when Nate was about 9 months old. It took us quit a bit longer this time around and a few more visits to the specialist but eventually were blessed to get pregnant again. These two will be almost exactly 2.5 years apart.
I am pretty sure we want more children but I am not sure when. I think my body needs a break and we still have a few years ahead of us ( I just turned 28). We'll see how this one goes... one at a time I guess.
My Dh works long hours and I do alot on my own, but we knew it from the beginning. When he is home, he is very hands on and is with the kids every second he can. Right now, things are not always easy. We don't have family to help, and I have yet to leave them with a babysitter (sometimes I am lucky enough to have friends watch them for afew hours) but again, it's a choice we have made. Taking care of our kids 24/7 is just a "season" in our life right now, they grow so quickly...
My brother and I are 20 months apart and are super close.
My youngest brother is 9 years younger and while I love and care for him (I still remember changing his diapers, feeding him,etc) we just don't have that same connection.
I also have a sister who is 17 years younger and a sister who is 23 years younger and I absolutely adore them but we definately do not have a typical "sister- sister" relationship. I love that they look up to me and my 11 year old sister loves to hear me talk about the day she was born and the silly things she did as a toddler but sometimes I wish we were much closer in age!
I remember, but didnt' want to post your personal business on here. : ) I know it sounds insane, but DH and I really want the girl. Granted, not to say we wouldn't love another boy, but like you said, we'll see how things change when the boys come.
And, I'm with you that the stress played a huge role in TTC. That is what we attribute our troubles too. 'Til now, we are still mostly unexplained! Things happen for a reason, and we move on.
Whenever you are ready, here is your truck load of TTC dust...
::: TTC dust:::
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
Jackie, when baby Christian arrives I will have to drive dwon to you and make you meet " Dh and I really wanting a girl" LMAO!
My girlfriend has a 2 year old, 8 month old twins (all boys) and wants to try again for a 4th, because she really wants a girl too (but would be happy with either!)
Well, we always knew we wanted 3 and I wanted to be done before I was 35 years old for a few personal reasons. So...originally I wanted the kids to be no more than 2 or 2.5 years apart. My plan was to start trying when Sophia was about 18 months old....to hopefully be pregnant by the time she was 2. Things don't work out that way. I never anticipated a miscarriage and that then it would take me 6 months to get pregnant again after that m/c. So...now my kids are going to be exactly 3 years apart which is also fine. More than I had planned but I tell myself that in the grandscheme of things 6 months is not going to make a difference.
My sister and I are 18 months apart and very close. I have a friend who has two younger sisters who are 5 years plus younger than her and they are still ridiculously close inspite of that age difference. I have learned that it depends not only on the parents parenting style...but on the kids personalities.
So...I say you do what you want. If you want to wait, wait. I have a feeling two is going to be double the fun but also double the work and crazy ass hell considering that DH and I both work. So...we have a challenge on our hands. But we are going to welcome it and pray it all works out.
LOL Well, SIL will be having her baby girl right around the time I have the boys, so when she's around, we can exprience triplets! And remember we still have 4 embies frozen, and we have agreed that we would give each one of them a chance at life... so it is very realistic we have at least 2 more children (hopefully not twins). : )
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
I say go for it! Live your life...My first two children are 3 years apart. We tried for sooner but God had other plans for us. My 2nd and 3rd are 15 months apart which was an unexpected surprise and I could not be happier. MH and I both come from families of four - so I am considering having a fourth when B is around the 3year mark. I think 2-3 years age difference is great.
Speaking from experience - the first two was a smoother transition. The fact that E was 3 , older, more mature made my life with two manageable. Now, having two under two is challenging. Here's the thing - the baby is very carefree, barely cries or fusses. It is my almost-2 year old who is a handful. She's a baby herself so doens't really understand why she can't lay on top of B, or pick him up, or eat cookies. She smothers him with kisses and hugs, and even yesterday she bit his little toe :0(
My blog
Doris, I definitely understand your dilemma. I am staying at home now, but used to work those 50-60 work weeks and DH's travel schedule is busier every year. Its tough being the sole caregiver and I can't imagine how busy you are with work, too.
We'd like to have our babies close in age, so we'll begin trying, if my cycles ever come back, in 3 months or so. My sister and I are 18 months apart and my youngest sister is 3 years younger than the middle. We have a very strong bond and I loved the fact that my parents had us close together. I want the same type of bond for Benjamin. I've lurked on the "Two Under Two" board and I hear how tough it is those first few months, but I figure, might as well go through it now. And I like V's term "season of raising kids".
I think Hunter would be an amazing big brother....and of course, still your baby. If you can handle all the work you do plus raising Hunter, baby #2 should be cake for you.
I also always said 3. But am taking it one at a time. We decided after Aa was 2 we would try and got pg pretty fast. I also had a bad pregnancy and then right after a m/c so it got pushed back. God willing my kids will be 3.5 years apart. I like that Aaron is so much more self sufficient then he was a few month ago. He gets himself dressed, he brushes his teeth and can keep himself entertained for longer periods of time.
As for the age difference between siblings I am 10 years younger then my brother and 7 years younger then my sister. My sister is my bff. My brother and I are not as close but I think it also has to do with me not caring for his wife...when we were young he was my hero. I think that the age diff does not matter as much...it is more about the personalities which obviously you can't choose. I have friends close in age from their siblings and they can't stand each other and the opposite as well.
You do what is best for you and your family. Good luck with your decision.
2 years apart seems good in theory, but it would mean that I would probably have to start TTC around Emma's first birthday or right after it, which is only 5 months away. That feels waaaaaaaaay too soon! I still don't feel like we've really hit a groove yet. We are still having major sleeping issues with her and I'm still feeling pretty overwhelmed with the work/life balance. I am hoping that by the time she's one, these things will get a little better (well, at least the sleeping...I doubt that the attempt at work/life balance ever gets "easy," but hopefully I'll be more used to it), and then once they DO get better, I want to be able to just enjoy a slightly less chaotic lifestyle for a little while before throwing another pregnancy or baby into the mix. So as of right now, I am hoping that I will feel ready to try to get pregnant right around Emma's 2nd birthday. Depending on when I conceive, it would make the kids anywhere from 2 1/2 to 3 1/2 years apart.
We want three kids, and I'm sure after #2 I'll be somewhat anxious to be "done" and have my pregnancy years behind me, so maybe #2 and #3 will end up being closer in age than what we have in mind for Emma and #2.
We had talked about having #2, and we had stopped using protection as much, but we weren't officially "trying" when I got pregnant with #2. It was when #1 was 14 months old. I was a bit overwhelmed at the thought, but as others have said, #1 grew and developed a LOT during the second pregnancy, so by the time #2 came along, he was at a better age. They are 22 months apart. Now that #2 is 16 months old and #1 is 3 years old, they play together a lot.
For me, having two was great right away and fantastic for the first 4 months while I was on leave, but it was most challenging soon after I went back to work at 4 months. I work part-time, but it was still the most challenging time, especially since #2 didn't really sleep through the night until she was a year (took until she was 5-6 months to stop waking before 4 or 5am). I was sleep-deprived and overworked at work and anxious a lot.
Once #2 hit a year, she started sleeping past 5am, I calmed down about work, and things improved.
DH is very hands on and works pretty regular hours, so I have his help when he's home, but since I nursed both my kids, the feeding was all me, including nighttime feedings. But sometimes, when I got up to get the baby, the older one would have sleep issues, so DH would take him, thank goodness! Divide and conquer. I also tend to take primary responsibility for their care, especially on weekdays--clothing, feeding, bathing, preparing lunches, dealing with school issues and obviously on my days off when the kids are home with me.
I also remember feeling like 1 was a lot of work, and when I got pregnant with #2, I was still feeling that way (he was only 15 months old when I found out). But by the time I was through with the first trimester, he already seemed easier (at 18 months).
While we haven't ruled out #3, we're certainly not trying for that now. We definitely feel like we have our hands full. Plus there is still a lot of uncertainty for me at work (although I've simply decided to be less anxious about it), and that doesn't make me feel comfortable enough to feel ready for another kid anytime soon.
Good luck in your decision!
Tania
My Nicholas was a very very tough baby. I waited until the month he turned before TTC and got pregnant on the first try. Officially, they are a week shy of 2 years and 8 months apart.
The benefits of waiting until he was two to ttc are that my son is self sufficient in many way like feeding himself, asking for what he wants, and he doesn't need to be carried anywhere anymore.
The downfalls for me are that I thought he would be potty trained by now and he's not, so I am trying to care for an infant and run him to the bathroom every 45 minutes all day long.. And because he was a little older when DD was born, he was old enough to really feel the change in our family dynamic and he is very jealous. His behavior since she arrived has been horrendous!